A few days ago, says our submitter in Louisiana, a co-worker left her meal on the lunchroom table while she went to the restroom. When she came back, she discovered that some brazen mo-fo had jacked her sandwich, leaving the empty bag behind.

“Being from the Creative Marketing department,” our submitter says, “she decided to fight back against the food thief with this.”

related: Creative approaches to food thievery

Tommy in Norway isn’t the only one getting butt-hurt over butter.

From the U.K…

to Australia…

to Ireland…

it’s beginning to look like this butter crisis might be going global.

Meanwhile, in America…

related: A bitter butter battle

According to our submitter, Jason and his cake-baking wife are newlyweds. So…I guess the honeymoon’s over?

related: “I don’t need a birthday cake,” I said.

extra credit: Bruce Bogtrotter’s chocolate cake

Would you care to furnish the last line of this haiku?

related: Sandwich guilt

Writes Heather in Kentucky: “I keep a basket of candy on my desk, but after having my candy basket completely cleaned out during the night shift on several occasions, I started locking it in my boss’s office overnight.”

A few mornings later, she arrived at her desk to find this oh-so-thoughtful note from one sugar-deprived night-shift worker.

related: This is a candy-optional office

Sometimes it takes a village to raise an obese cat.

Sam spotted this somewhat presumptuous notice while house-hunting in South London. “We looked everywhere for the monster cat,” he says, to no avail. (Perhaps if you’d tried slipping a few opened tins of tuna fish in your pockets?)

related: To whom that wanted to be a superhero and take my cat to the pound

Spotted by Tiffany in San Antonio, Texas…

(Not passive-aggressive, just too amusing not to share.)

The not-quite-so-amusing explanation, courtesy of commenter NativeoSanantonio: This is at the Aztec Theater in downtown San Antonio. It’s a live music venue that has a classic country music show. Fans would throw tortillas on stage as a show of appreciation. It was cute at first but quickly got out of control. The performers asked for the “No Tortilla” rule.

related: Professionally done “by Asians”

Spotted next to a festive bowl of Halloween candy in a university administrative office: a preemptive strike at the Jeffs of the world.

(I love it.)

related: Cupcakes make people…