Entries Tagged as 'food'

Microwave Business: A Story of Teamwork

April 21st, 2014 · 81 Comments

Writes our submitter in Washington, DC: “In my time at my job, the only real evacuations we’ve had are for the Virginia Earthquake, and, now, a microwave popcorn incident. While another floor was responsible, multiple members of my department took this as an opportunity to make statements about the frequent state of our very own sad microwave. I think this is a fine example of how a committed team can work together to create a masterpiece.”

Oh my, the popcorn fire photo of shame!

(just click the photo above to enlarge)

related: Especially Deborah

Tags: D.C. · microwave · popcorn · that's a fire hazard

You may work here, but you’re not my mother.

April 14th, 2014 · 106 Comments

Pam works at an accounting firm in St. Louis, where, around tax time, it’s not unusual for people to pack all three meals. How did you think Joan’s vigilante food-safety policing went over?

Missing: Three All Beef Hot Dogs

related: A bitter butter battle

Tags: food · non-apology apology · office · St. Louis

Lettuce not praise blameless men

March 18th, 2014 · 98 Comments

Writes our submitter from the UK: “It seems that student living brings out the best in passive aggressive note-writers.”

Hello,  You left this piece of lettuce on the floor last week and I was wondering if you still wanted it? If you do you should maybe keep it in a safer place than the communal kitchen floor.  Just checking,  Alex from room A xxx

related: EAT ME!

Tags: college life · food · smartass

The sugar shelf of death

February 18th, 2014 · 140 Comments

“There’s a shelf in our office, where, every couple of days someone will contribute some sort of sugary/fatty treat,” writes Laura in Seattle. Luckily, one of her coworkers stepped up to enlighten everyone about the death trap they’ve created.”

GET RID OF SUGAR. It's more poisonous than HEROIN. If refined sugar were discovered, it would be categorized as a narcotic like cocaine and heroin; it's as addictive and kills millions more people than all drug overdoses combined. Think about it. Obesity-related illnesses kill more people than everything else combined. And the No. 1 causes of obesity and sugar, fat, and salt.

 

GET RID OF SUGAR. It's more poisonous than HEROIN. If refined sugar were discovered, it would be categorized as a narcotic like cocaine and heroin; it's as addictive and kills millions more people than all drug overdoses combined. Think about it. Obesity-related illnesses kill more people than everything else combined. And the No. 1 causes of obesity and sugar, fat, and salt.

related: Cupcakes are a gateway drug!

Tags: food · hey fatty · office cop · questionable logic · Seattle

I EARNED THIS.

November 4th, 2013 · 75 Comments

Explains David in California: “Because of an ant problem, Julia can’t keep her candy in her room.” Thus…

If anyone eats my candy I will kill them. Seriously, stop. I didn't get very much candy and I had a terrible Halloween filled with sickness. Eat your own candy. I earned this. FIND YOUR HUMANITY.

related: There’s stealing candy from children, and then there’s…this.

Tags: candy · Halloween · most popular notes of 2013

You know what, kid? Maybe you need to start packing your own lunch.

September 24th, 2013 · 92 Comments

Christina in Marietta, Georgia says her 7-year-old daughter pointedly handed her this note when she picked up after school. “For the record,” Christina says, “The bread was fresh, just multigrain instead of whole wheat. The cheese was simply a different brand of Swiss cheese. Both were bought the day before.”

Today on my sandwich the bread was stale and the chese was rotten.

Meanwhile, Steph in St. Paul, Minnesota received this missive from her 6-year-old after running out of garlic salt to sprinkle on her “macken cheese,” thus beginning a 15-month boycott. (“Honestly though,” says Steph, “I don’t think mac & cheese is very healthy anyway, so…”)

 I DO NOT Wont My MackEn chees I absilootly hate macken chees pick owt anether thing but not macken cheese

Finally, Beth in New Jersey got this “friendly letter” sent home from school with her 7-year-old son.

Dear Mom, Please do not give me Sun Chips. I hate them! Write back soon.

related: I love you, Mommy. Your sandwiches? Not so much.

Tags: cheese · food · kids · most popular notes of 2013 · Mother-daughter notes

Is that a chicken wing in your pocket, or…

September 16th, 2013 · 18 Comments

Those must be some darn big pockets you’ve got there, Elwood.

Elwood- I have you on video tape stuffing chicken wings in your pockets! You owe $82. Roper

(Thanks to Jessi in Illinois for submitting!)

related: A Roadside Intervention

extra credit: “Men accused of stealing $65,000 in chicken wings” [cbsatlanta.com]

Tags: food · Illinois · money · most popular notes of 2013 · public shaming · small town living · stealing

Ever wondered what it would be like sharing an office with William Carlos Williams?

September 8th, 2013 · 54 Comments

First with the plums, now lemons? Seriously, Bill?

I hope you enjoyed the half lemon I had just taken out of the fridge. Next time buy your own. We all Work for ourselves not to feed Strangers.

And by the way, I’d like my red wheelbarrow back, please. (So much depends upon it, after all.)

HELP YOURSELF But NOT to the Wheelbarrow (like last year) please!

(Thanks to our submitters Sarah in NYC and Steve in the U.K.)

related: What rhymes with putrid?

extra credit: This Is Just to Say

Tags: food · New York · office fridge · pure poetry · stealing

Did someone page the office fat police?

August 8th, 2013 · 196 Comments

“There has always been candy on the secretary’s desk at work,” writes Dennis in Louisiana, “but “someone recently moved in to the office who does not need to be eating any candy. I think the message here is pretty clear.”

Did someone page the office fat police?

related: This is a candy-optional office

Tags: actions speak louder · candy · hey fatty · mean girls · office · public shaming · way harsh

People should no

July 21st, 2013 · 37 Comments

Rob lives in a seaside town in the U.K. He and several other neighbo(u)rs recently received versions of this handwritten note, seemingly written by an ex-employee of a hot dog stall at a nearby fairground.

Writes Rob: “It’s not quite clear who the notewriter is or exactly what the problem is. Is it the hot dogs? It is the van? Is it the terrible grammar? It is the writer responsible for the ‘handling’ of the ‘disgusting’ food? Who is the mysterious friend who was ill for 3 weeks? What is it that people should ‘no’?”

Mrs Shearan and her daughter own a hot hot dog & burger van at the fair ground, I worked.  For them, and found the handling of the food was disgusting they have been warned, if you visit them this easter they are not what they seem next to the hot dog & burger van they have a childrens amusement their name is on the van,  (people should no [sic] about them iff [sic] they have children, my friend was ill for 3 weeks)

related: Small-town swimming pool rules

Tags: food · spelling and grammar police · that's disgusting · U.K.