Entries Tagged as 'food'

Ever wondered what it would be like sharing an office with William Carlos Williams?

September 8th, 2013 · 54 Comments

First with the plums, now lemons? Seriously, Bill?

I hope you enjoyed the half lemon I had just taken out of the fridge. Next time buy your own. We all Work for ourselves not to feed Strangers.

And by the way, I’d like my red wheelbarrow back, please. (So much depends upon it, after all.)

HELP YOURSELF But NOT to the Wheelbarrow (like last year) please!

(Thanks to our submitters Sarah in NYC and Steve in the U.K.)

related: What rhymes with putrid?

extra credit: This Is Just to Say

Tags: food · New York · office fridge · pure poetry · stealing

Did someone page the office fat police?

August 8th, 2013 · 196 Comments

“There has always been candy on the secretary’s desk at work,” writes Dennis in Louisiana, “but “someone recently moved in to the office who does not need to be eating any candy. I think the message here is pretty clear.”

Did someone page the office fat police?

related: This is a candy-optional office

Tags: actions speak louder · candy · hey fatty · mean girls · office · public shaming · way harsh

People should no

July 21st, 2013 · 37 Comments

Rob lives in a seaside town in the U.K. He and several other neighbo(u)rs recently received versions of this handwritten note, seemingly written by an ex-employee of a hot dog stall at a nearby fairground.

Writes Rob: “It’s not quite clear who the notewriter is or exactly what the problem is. Is it the hot dogs? It is the van? Is it the terrible grammar? It is the writer responsible for the ‘handling’ of the ‘disgusting’ food? Who is the mysterious friend who was ill for 3 weeks? What is it that people should ‘no’?”

Mrs Shearan and her daughter own a hot hot dog & burger van at the fair ground, I worked.  For them, and found the handling of the food was disgusting they have been warned, if you visit them this easter they are not what they seem next to the hot dog & burger van they have a childrens amusement their name is on the van,  (people should no [sic] about them iff [sic] they have children, my friend was ill for 3 weeks)

related: Small-town swimming pool rules

Tags: food · spelling and grammar police · that's disgusting · U.K.

Are you happy now?

July 11th, 2013 · 65 Comments

The day before her birthday, Emily in Baton Rouge was lamenting the fact that her husband had never once surprised me with a cookie cake. (Hint, hint.)

The next day, her husband “surprised” her with what Emily called “quite possibly the best present I’ve ever received — not only hilarious, but delicious as well!”

Are you happy now?

Meanwhile, writes Chanisa in Danbury, Connecticut: “This is what my husband wrote on my birthday cake after I nagged him about it for a week.”

Happy f*cking birthday

related: I don’t want to hear another damn word about flowers

Tags: birthday · cake · Connecticut · love & marriage

The stars of the office petri dish

June 27th, 2013 · 72 Comments

I can’t decide between the cheese and the soup. Who do you think deserves the prize?

Food Hygiene Award Contestants: The pizza roll? The soup? The milk? The cheese? The tomato? The tuna?

related: What rhymes with putrid?

Tags: food · Melbourne · office fridge

No problem — ’twas a piece of a cake!

June 18th, 2013 · 91 Comments

“Our organization recently moved most of its employees from several small offices into one large office,” writes our submitter in Vancouver. “It only took five months for the kitchen conflict to ramp up into a full-blown note war.”

thank you for helping yourself to half of my birthday cake....I guess I didn't need the whole cake to share with my friends and coworkers anyways. ...and happy birthday to you too!

To the leaver of the cake: You're very welcome.

...and someone helped themselves to one of my steam buns (leftovers) in a takeout box but I have a bad cold so they'll get the bad karma back.

related: Let the rest of us eat cake.

Tags: birthday · cake · karma's a bitch · note wars · office fridge · stealing · thanks (but not really) · Vancouver

Communal kitchen canoodling

May 9th, 2013 · 51 Comments

Our submitter in Canada, who lives in a rooming house with a shared kitchen, laughed pretty hard upon finding this note. “It’s just so specific. So very specific.”

When you drop noodles, pick them up - I don't like the way they feel on my FEET!

“P.S.,” our submitter adds: “I didn’t drop the noodles.”

related: Well, someone’s feeling a little chippy…

Tags: food · roommates · WTF?

The don of donut discipline

April 28th, 2013 · 144 Comments

Don is the organizer of a doughnut co-op in his Chicago office, in which each co-worker takes a turn bringing in doughnuts every Friday to share with the rest of the group. “One of my co-workers is notorious for cutting doughnuts in half and leaving the other half behind in the box,” Don says, “which annoys some of the other members of the co-op. Apparently a co-worker felt that I was failing to maintain doughnut discipline and took it upon himself to post this warning.”

Adds Don: “Half-doughnuts are no longer showing up.”

Bad: Thinking of cutting a donut. Worse: Actually cutting a donut. Worst: Cutting a donut and leaving the other half behind. Better: Cutting a donut and throwing the other half away. Best: Eat the whole damn donut!

related: The Office Breakroom Nibbler

Tags: Chicago · etiquette · food · most popular notes of 2013 · office

Not to name names, but…

April 11th, 2013 · 32 Comments

Seriously, Jay?

Today we had a situation where someone ate the center of 40-50 chic-fil-a- minis and left the bread. Please realize we don't want the bread you dug through. Feel free to either eat the bread or throw the bread away. This will help us all live together. Please read the following rules of functioning in a society. It may help.

related: S is for Sibling Rivalry

Tags: food · message to all intended for one · most popular notes of 2013 · office · public shaming

The next great civil rights battle?

April 9th, 2013 · 58 Comments

Our submitter in New Zealand, if forced to make a wild guess, says this missive “is probably from the woman across the hallway who stood in the middle of the floor last week and asked loudly, three times, ‘Who took my peanut butter from the fridge? Who?’” and then slunk back to her desk muttering under her breath.”

Did you know that we live in an enlightened society...Women have the vote - hard to believe, but, yes, its true! Same sex marriage/civil union - is alive and well. We can, if we wish, leave our peanut butter in the fridge at work (well - you should be able to!) That the premise of 'respect for all' is a given... It takes 5 minutes longer to put your dish in the dishwasher - please give it a go

related: A sticky situation

Tags: New Zealand · office · peanut butter