Entries Tagged as 'food'

So long, and thanks for all the Swiss

January 12th, 2013 · 45 Comments

At Westside Market in New York City, a cheesemonger gives his final two (hundred and ninety-nine) cents:

TO OUR LOYAL FRIENDS WE WILL NO LONGER BE ABLE TO PUT QUOTES ON OUR LABELS DUE TO ONE PERSONS CONSTANT COMPLAINTS ITS BEEN FUN I HOPE I MADE YOU THINK PETER ANDREW DANIELS THE DR.

related: Don’t blame us — blame the crazy lady!

extra credit: Meet The Mysterious Cheesemonger Behind The Quotable Fromage [gothamist.com]

"It's been a hard days night and I've been working like a dog" - John Lennon

extra extra credit: A Collection of Curiously Eccentric Cheese Labels [nymag.com]

Tags: cheese · don't blame us · New York

Revenge: a dish best served chilled?

December 11th, 2012 · 74 Comments

Our submitter in Texas — where we are currently experiencing out annual three days of winter — spotted this note posted yesterday on the office fridge. “I know who ate the ‘chili,’” our submitter claims, “because I heard her comment on how she knew it must be organic because the true owner was a hippie.”

DEAR CHILI THIEF: The first time you stole & ate my bowl of chili it was chili. The second time it was dog food. Hope you enjoyed. Sincerely, your friend in payback

related: Don’t get mad, get creative!

extra credit: The Original Fridge Locker

Tags: food · most popular notes of 2012 · oh snap · revenge · stealing · Texas

Fish cookies, anyone?

December 6th, 2012 · 60 Comments

It was a Friday and Meredith in Lexington, Massachusetts was pretty much running on auto-pilot when she made the mistake of microwaving leftover tacos for lunch — FISH tacos. Much to her horror, Meredith says, “The smell immediately permeated the office and got everyone talking and wondering who had committed one of the worst office kitchen taboos — second only to burned microwave popcorn.”

In an attempt to make things right, Meredith says, “I then asked some software engineers, who like to bake frozen cookie dough in the toaster oven, if they would help me cover up my secret shame by baking some sweet-smelling cookies. This is the note they left for all to see.”

Trust us, this smells better than Meredith's burnt fish lunch. (She sits that way ?). She is very sorry and will never do it again!

related: To spray or not to spray?; Eau dear

Tags: etiquette · fish · Massachusetts · microwave · odor · office · oh no you didn't · public shaming

If you get Vegemite in the margarine, I KILL YOU!

November 12th, 2012 · 55 Comments

Writes Catherine in Melbourne: “I was preparing breakfast in the office kitchen when I opened the fridge and reached for the margarine tub to butter my toast. Ten seconds later, I was fearing for my life.”

Hi, a warning!! If you get vegemite in the margarine, I KILL YOU! If you scrape old margarine back into the tub, I KILL YOU!  In fact, if you touch this margarine you'll have to work very hard just to stay alive. :)

related: I Can’t Believe It’s Not (My) Butter

extra credit: Australians Losing Their Taste for Vegemite [time.com]

Tags: Australia · butter · die bitch die · Melbourne · most popular notes of 2012 · not-so-veiled threats · smiley · warning

No treats, no tricks, just boos.

October 31st, 2012 · 120 Comments

So, which house do you think is the most likely to get egged by angry trick-or-treaters?

Exhibit a) From Chester Springs, Pennsylvania:

HUNGOVER. If you ring the doorbell, I will piss in your plastic pumpkin.

Exhibit b)

NO CANDY JUST SWINE FLU (It's worse than no candy.)

Exhibit c)

NO CANDY HERE WAITING FOR PIZZA MAN

Exhibit d) From Jackson, Mississippi:

Warning! No candy! All Trick-or-Treaters will be attacked by Evil Clown!

Exhibit e) Spotted by Greg in Escondido, California:

DEAR TRICK OR TREATERS: CANDY AND OTHER CONFECTIONS ARE AN AFFRONT TO THE LORD AND AS SUCH WE SHALL NOT BE PROVIDE ANY ON THIS DAY OF SIN! DEUTERONOMY 18:9-12, 1 PETER 5:8

Exhibit f) Spotted by Tyree in Oakridge, Oregon

No Candy go Away

related: Some advice for would-be pumpkin smashers

Tags: candy · go away · Halloween

(Willpower not provided)

September 25th, 2012 · 32 Comments

At Ama’s office in Jacksonville, Florida, a friendly staff member brought a sweet treat to share. “This became too much for one anonymous coworker,” Ama says, “who maintained his or her strength under pressure long enough to leave this note.” (Honestly, as someone with a particular weakness for the sweet stuff myself…I kinda understand.)

Blueberry Cheesecake for Whoever Wants Some. I'm totally intimidated by this cheesecake. Will someone please eat it so I can use the breakroom!

related post:

This is a candy-optional office

Tags: cake · Jacksonville · office

Which is more annoying?

September 20th, 2012 · 34 Comments

This bullshit, from an office in Baltimore?

Really! An empty pizza box left in the fridge? Really, you'd think the person who stole my pizza would have better manners and would throw away the box!

Or the unused-microwave-time version, from Claire’s office in Columbus, Ohio?

Really! You wouldn't eat 3 blueberries and throw the container away??

related post:

The Breakroom Nibbler

Tags: food · garbage · office fridge · pizza

Nice try, Mom.

September 4th, 2012 · 86 Comments

Margee in Missouri, who does not like to share her cookie dough, thought she’d found the one place in the fridge her kids wouldn’t think to look  — inside the salad spinner. (“Apparently I underestimated my daughter,” she says.)

You think you're so clever, don't you?

related: Daddy’s little smartass

Tags: food · fridge · Moms & Dads · sharing is caring

This cereal is now yours to control.

August 30th, 2012 · 92 Comments

Samantha‘s note about her Kindle seems to have hit a nerve with many of you. As commenter ae wrote, “The ‘it’s MY Kindle you know’ line would have gotten me the “Oh, did you pay for it with your own money?’ line from my parents.”

Well, Lea in Los Angeles seems to come from that same school of parenting. When she and her husband found this demand stuck to the cereal box this morning, they decided to teach their daughter, Chela, a little lesson.

This cereal is now yours to control.

related: My evil Mom

Tags: cereal · kids · Moms & Dads · money · most popular notes of 2012 · oh snap · rebuttals · smiley

I love you, Mommy. Your sandwiches? Not so much.

August 16th, 2012 · 36 Comments

Rita in Utah was on the phone when her daughter handed her this note (less than a month into the school year). Says Rita: “I love how she tries to ‘soften the blow!’”

Dear Mommy, I Love You...but I want to buy school lunch tomoroe [sic]. thank you!

Gold star, kiddo. There are some adults who could take some note-writing pointers from you.

related: When kids “punish” their parents with the silent treatment

Tags: food · kids · Mother-daughter notes · not so much passive-aggressive · Utah