Writes Jonathan in the UK: “Nick, bless him, diligently cleans the office microwave when he’s at work every Sunday morning. By Monday, the smell of bleach has usually gone. However, I think the latest soup splattering may have pushed him over the edge.”

related: If you thought your microwave was dirty…

Our submitter, Steffany, says she found this abandoned burrito in the microwave and set it on the table. When she woke up the next morning, she says, “my roommate had left me this a bitchy note…so I left one for her.”

related: Haterade on the rocks, with a twist

At Westside Market in New York City, a cheesemonger gives his final two (hundred and ninety-nine) cents:

related: Don’t blame us — blame the crazy lady!

extra credit: Meet The Mysterious Cheesemonger Behind The Quotable Fromage [gothamist.com]

extra extra credit: A Collection of Curiously Eccentric Cheese Labels [nymag.com]

Our submitter in Texas — where we are currently experiencing out annual three days of winter — spotted this note posted yesterday on the office fridge. “I know who ate the ‘chili,’” our submitter claims, “because I heard her comment on how she knew it must be organic because the true owner was a hippie.”

related: Don’t get mad, get creative!

extra credit: The Original Fridge Locker

It was a Friday and Meredith in Lexington, Massachusetts was pretty much running on auto-pilot when she made the mistake of microwaving leftover tacos for lunch — FISH tacos. Much to her horror, Meredith says, “The smell immediately permeated the office and got everyone talking and wondering who had committed one of the worst office kitchen taboos — second only to burned microwave popcorn.”

In an attempt to make things right, Meredith says, “I then asked some software engineers, who like to bake frozen cookie dough in the toaster oven, if they would help me cover up my secret shame by baking some sweet-smelling cookies. This is the note they left for all to see.”

related: To spray or not to spray?; Eau dear

Writes Catherine in Melbourne: “I was preparing breakfast in the office kitchen when I opened the fridge and reached for the margarine tub to butter my toast. Ten seconds later, I was fearing for my life.”

related: I Can’t Believe It’s Not (My) Butter

extra credit: Australians Losing Their Taste for Vegemite [time.com]

So, which house do you think is the most likely to get egged by angry trick-or-treaters?

Exhibit a) From Chester Springs, Pennsylvania:

Exhibit b)

Exhibit c)

Exhibit d) From Jackson, Mississippi:

Exhibit e) Spotted by Greg in Escondido, California:

Exhibit f) Spotted by Tyree in Oakridge, Oregon

related: Some advice for would-be pumpkin smashers

At Ama’s office in Jacksonville, Florida, a friendly staff member brought a sweet treat to share. “This became too much for one anonymous coworker,” Ama says, “who maintained his or her strength under pressure long enough to leave this note.” (Honestly, as someone with a particular weakness for the sweet stuff myself…I kinda understand.)

related post:

This is a candy-optional office

This bullshit, from an office in Baltimore?

Or the unused-microwave-time version, from Claire’s office in Columbus, Ohio?

related post:

The Breakroom Nibbler

Margee in Missouri, who does not like to share her cookie dough, thought she’d found the one place in the fridge her kids wouldn’t think to look  — inside the salad spinner. (“Apparently I underestimated my daughter,” she says.)

related: Daddy’s little smartass