Entries Tagged as 'food'

I know who’s not getting a merit badge for sharing…

February 27th, 2013 · 84 Comments

Now that Girl Scout cookie season has ended — here in Texas, anyway — shit’s starting to get real.

i know how many are in each box exactly...you eat. you die. ;) have a great day! ? cc

related: Killer cookie dough

Tags: die bitch die · food · heart · most popular notes of 2013 · sharing is caring

No Soup for You!

February 11th, 2013 · 79 Comments

Writes Jonathan in the UK: “Nick, bless him, diligently cleans the office microwave when he’s at work every Sunday morning. By Monday, the smell of bleach has usually gone. However, I think the latest soup splattering may have pushed him over the edge.”

I spent a fair few minutes making this oven clean on Sunday and in 24 hours it is again covered in soup -  Firstly drinking soup is the act of a fool as its salt content will contribute to high blood pressure but leaving an oven in this state is plain unpleasant -  It means that those of us that that (sic) have basic hygiene standards now can not use the microwave oven unless we clean it after you use it.  Please if you had soup on Monday can you consider your actions and what you have left for others.  NP

related: If you thought your microwave was dirty…

Tags: food · microwave · office · U.K.

Duh-runk

January 20th, 2013 · 26 Comments

Our submitter, Steffany, says she found this abandoned burrito in the microwave and set it on the table. When she woke up the next morning, she says, “my roommate had left me this a bitchy note…so I left one for her.”

My food is NOT your food. don't eat it. duh.  [response] You left this in the microwave when you were drunk, idiot.

related: Haterade on the rocks, with a twist

Tags: college life · drizzunk · food · Kansas · microwave · most popular notes of 2013 · Oops? · roommates

So long, and thanks for all the Swiss

January 12th, 2013 · 45 Comments

At Westside Market in New York City, a cheesemonger gives his final two (hundred and ninety-nine) cents:

TO OUR LOYAL FRIENDS WE WILL NO LONGER BE ABLE TO PUT QUOTES ON OUR LABELS DUE TO ONE PERSONS CONSTANT COMPLAINTS ITS BEEN FUN I HOPE I MADE YOU THINK PETER ANDREW DANIELS THE DR.

related: Don’t blame us — blame the crazy lady!

extra credit: Meet The Mysterious Cheesemonger Behind The Quotable Fromage [gothamist.com]

"It's been a hard days night and I've been working like a dog" - John Lennon

extra extra credit: A Collection of Curiously Eccentric Cheese Labels [nymag.com]

Tags: cheese · don't blame us · New York

Revenge: a dish best served chilled?

December 11th, 2012 · 74 Comments

Our submitter in Texas — where we are currently experiencing out annual three days of winter — spotted this note posted yesterday on the office fridge. “I know who ate the ‘chili,’” our submitter claims, “because I heard her comment on how she knew it must be organic because the true owner was a hippie.”

DEAR CHILI THIEF: The first time you stole & ate my bowl of chili it was chili. The second time it was dog food. Hope you enjoyed. Sincerely, your friend in payback

related: Don’t get mad, get creative!

extra credit: The Original Fridge Locker

Tags: food · most popular notes of 2012 · oh snap · revenge · stealing · Texas

Fish cookies, anyone?

December 6th, 2012 · 60 Comments

It was a Friday and Meredith in Lexington, Massachusetts was pretty much running on auto-pilot when she made the mistake of microwaving leftover tacos for lunch — FISH tacos. Much to her horror, Meredith says, “The smell immediately permeated the office and got everyone talking and wondering who had committed one of the worst office kitchen taboos — second only to burned microwave popcorn.”

In an attempt to make things right, Meredith says, “I then asked some software engineers, who like to bake frozen cookie dough in the toaster oven, if they would help me cover up my secret shame by baking some sweet-smelling cookies. This is the note they left for all to see.”

Trust us, this smells better than Meredith's burnt fish lunch. (She sits that way ?). She is very sorry and will never do it again!

related: To spray or not to spray?; Eau dear

Tags: etiquette · fish · Massachusetts · microwave · odor · office · oh no you didn't · public shaming

If you get Vegemite in the margarine, I KILL YOU!

November 12th, 2012 · 55 Comments

Writes Catherine in Melbourne: “I was preparing breakfast in the office kitchen when I opened the fridge and reached for the margarine tub to butter my toast. Ten seconds later, I was fearing for my life.”

Hi, a warning!! If you get vegemite in the margarine, I KILL YOU! If you scrape old margarine back into the tub, I KILL YOU!  In fact, if you touch this margarine you'll have to work very hard just to stay alive. :)

related: I Can’t Believe It’s Not (My) Butter

extra credit: Australians Losing Their Taste for Vegemite [time.com]

Tags: Australia · butter · die bitch die · Melbourne · most popular notes of 2012 · not-so-veiled threats · smiley · warning

No treats, no tricks, just boos.

October 31st, 2012 · 120 Comments

So, which house do you think is the most likely to get egged by angry trick-or-treaters?

Exhibit a) From Chester Springs, Pennsylvania:

HUNGOVER. If you ring the doorbell, I will piss in your plastic pumpkin.

Exhibit b)

NO CANDY JUST SWINE FLU (It's worse than no candy.)

Exhibit c)

NO CANDY HERE WAITING FOR PIZZA MAN

Exhibit d) From Jackson, Mississippi:

Warning! No candy! All Trick-or-Treaters will be attacked by Evil Clown!

Exhibit e) Spotted by Greg in Escondido, California:

DEAR TRICK OR TREATERS: CANDY AND OTHER CONFECTIONS ARE AN AFFRONT TO THE LORD AND AS SUCH WE SHALL NOT BE PROVIDE ANY ON THIS DAY OF SIN! DEUTERONOMY 18:9-12, 1 PETER 5:8

Exhibit f) Spotted by Tyree in Oakridge, Oregon

No Candy go Away

related: Some advice for would-be pumpkin smashers

Tags: candy · go away · Halloween

(Willpower not provided)

September 25th, 2012 · 32 Comments

At Ama’s office in Jacksonville, Florida, a friendly staff member brought a sweet treat to share. “This became too much for one anonymous coworker,” Ama says, “who maintained his or her strength under pressure long enough to leave this note.” (Honestly, as someone with a particular weakness for the sweet stuff myself…I kinda understand.)

Blueberry Cheesecake for Whoever Wants Some. I'm totally intimidated by this cheesecake. Will someone please eat it so I can use the breakroom!

related post:

This is a candy-optional office

Tags: cake · Jacksonville · office

Which is more annoying?

September 20th, 2012 · 34 Comments

This bullshit, from an office in Baltimore?

Really! An empty pizza box left in the fridge? Really, you'd think the person who stole my pizza would have better manners and would throw away the box!

Or the unused-microwave-time version, from Claire’s office in Columbus, Ohio?

Really! You wouldn't eat 3 blueberries and throw the container away??

related post:

The Breakroom Nibbler

Tags: food · garbage · office fridge · pizza