Entries Tagged as 'food'
Stephanie in Kansas City, Missouri found this warning posted on the fridge after lunch today:
Around the same time, this note showed up on an office coffee-maker in Washington, D.C.:
Meanwhile, Ashley in Greenville, North Carolina forwards this example of a veiled threat, atheist-style:
related: Remember, God is watching you!
Tags: bathroom · coffee · D.C. · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Jesus · Kansas City · North Carolina · pizza · roommates · soap · stealing · washing your hands
How long will your slob of a flatmate neglect her fallen french fry on the filthy carpet of your shared living space?
Well, if your flatmate is Bex in Stoke, England…long enough for it to be transformed into a small art installation, apparently.
related: Grimace and the fry kids
Tags: anthropomorphism · cleaning · food · roommates · U.K.
Coverage starts at 4 a.m. EST, but there’s no need for early-morning fanfare. Just pop this in the oven Thursday night and leave it on the counter. Goes great with cucumber sandwiches!
And yes, those are raisins. You might call it “The American Take on Spotted Dick.” (You could also call it several other more punning names, but my, wouldn’t that be vulgar!)
related: “I don’t need a birthday cake,” I said.
When it comes to comment cards and suggestion boxes, it’s not necessarily hard to get the last word. But as Maggie noticed while leaving a dining hall at the University of Denver, it takes a skilled passive-aggressive to turn a totally neutral, boilerplate response into an obvious “up yours” without so much as an exclamation point.
related: The Great Egg Salad Ban of ’08 at the Conde Nast cafeteria
extra credit: College Cafeterias Get Bad Grades from the Health Dept. [nytimes.com]
Tags: "helpful" advice · college life · Denver · food · thanks (but not really)
“The crayon note showed up about two months before the response,” says Monica at Goucher College, “but both have been a source of great entertainment.”
related: Comrades, take notice!
extra credit: A lesson from Barney! **********
Tags: a little patronizing · Baltimore · college life · food · questionable logic · rebuttals · sharing is caring · stealing
Many months ago, one of our submitter’s coworkers decided to fortify the entire office freezer with family-sized bricks of monosodium glutamate.
(Was there an amazing “buy 20, get one free” special at Wal-Mart? Is someone filming a processed-foods version of Super Size Me? Or just stocking up for the End Times?) Whatever the reason, this person made very clear (via post-it note) that these frozen delights were not for general consumption, thanks.
Finally, after months had gone by with no obvious signs of attrition on the Banquet line, another coworker decided to add a defiant note of protest (which in turn spurred a third note, from the office smartass.) Sadly, the real question (FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS FROZEN — WHY????) remains unanswered.
related: Please remove the rabbit carcasses from this freezer
Tags: Colorado · food · office fridge · rebuttals · stealing
Tags: eww · not-so-veiled threats · shit · stealing · TMI · yogurt
At a B&B by the Norfolk coast, our submitter Liz was amused by this (possibly serious, possibly not?) guestbook comment — one I hope the proprietors are able work into their next ex-con advertising campaign.
Meanwhile, Amie and Tim spotted this guestbook note while checking out from their hotel in Iceland. “We don’t know who Linda is or what she did, but…wow.” (Perhaps she could seek some support from Except Graham or Especially Deborah?)
related: But you’re too nice not to be a Christian!
Tags: "customer service" · backhanded compliment · food
Christian and John in Manchester, U.K. spotted this sign in the library of Manchester Metropolitan University…where the fridge thieves must be really, really ruthless (or the librarians very, very dotty).
This particular library, says John, “is where the vast majority of the university’s science and law students go. I have to wonder what sort of a university I go to if prospective engineers, biologists, chemists, physicists and lawyers have to be specifically asked not to put food in the toilet brush holders.”
Adds Christian: “I imagine a further note reading: ‘Please Do Not Poop On The Ceiling.’”
Meanwhile, in Cambridge…further evidence of U.K. university students’ curious predilection for eating while toileting.
related: Pizza box as air freshener?
Tags: bathroom · Cambridge · college life · food · Manchester · U.K. · WTF?
Matt, a law student in Boston, surmises that this note posted in the school’s student lounge was written by non-native English speaker — “the other possibility being that the stress of exams has eaten away at his ability to write coherently.” But what’s curious about this note isn’t the spelling and grammar so much as the the variety and specificity of immediate punishments that are promised within.
“For example,” asks Matt: “Will the food choke the perpetrator, or will Frank be the choker? How will the burns be administered to the sleeper?” And so on. ”In any case,” he adds, “at least the various threatened deaths won’t be drawn out. (Also, to the best of my knowledge, there is no ‘video record’ of the refrigerator.)”
related: Testosterone-fueled wackjobs make the dardnest threats!
Tags: Boston · Clearly a non-native English speaker · die bitch die · food · lawyers & law students · not-so-veiled threats · p.s.