Entries Tagged as 'food'
Matt, a law student in Boston, surmises that this note posted in the school’s student lounge was written by non-native English speaker — “the other possibility being that the stress of exams has eaten away at his ability to write coherently.” But what’s curious about this note isn’t the spelling and grammar so much as the the variety and specificity of immediate punishments that are promised within.
“For example,” asks Matt: “Will the food choke the perpetrator, or will Frank be the choker? How will the burns be administered to the sleeper?” And so on. ”In any case,” he adds, “at least the various threatened deaths won’t be drawn out. (Also, to the best of my knowledge, there is no ‘video record’ of the refrigerator.)”
related: Testosterone-fueled wackjobs make the dardnest threats!
Tags: Boston · Clearly a non-native English speaker · die bitch die · food · lawyers & law students · not-so-veiled threats · p.s.
Emma says this note appeared in her dorm at the University of Chicago shortly before the Thanksgiving holiday. “Our kitchen has a sign on the fridge that says: ‘If you leave your food unlabeled, it’s fair game. Label your food.’ I assume this girl did not label her food.” (Because who would be cruel enough to steal such a traditional Thanksgiving delicacy from an old lady?)
Another dorm resident sent in a shot of the anonymous response added later.
related: Thanksgiving pride & passive-aggression
Tags: college life · food · guilt trip · irregular capitalization · rebuttals · stealing · Thanksgiving
Taylor in Tulsa, Oklahoma works — well, worked — at the front desk of a hotel. “When I started this job,” he says, “we were told we could eat in the back office so that if it got too busy we could stop our lunch and help out, but apparently my offensive burrito was over the top.” Taylor swears the dirty dishes weren’t his, but he was laid off anyway — after which, he adds, “the note was promptly removed.”
(“Outback,” by the way, refers to the employee dining area, not the steakhouse known for its “delicious” bread.)
Meanwhile, at a small office in Canada, our submitter says one of the company’s directors has a similar habit of sending out a pedantic “just FYI”-type memo to the entire staff each time she has run-in with another co-worker. (And yes, our submitter says, they’re always in Comic Sans.)
related: Complimentary body spray for all employees!
Tags: "helpful" advice · a little patronizing · all-staff e-mail · Comic Sans Alert · dishes · fired · food · hygiene · memo · message to all intended for one · odor · office cop · Ontario · Tulsa
If you needed another reason to be happy you don’t live in Utah, Justin brings us this explosion of bad ideas from a Provo office park.
(I’m going with “Team None-of-the-Above” for this one.)
related: The bathroom walls are NOT soundproof.
extra credit: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Pizza Air Freshener
Tags: bathroom · guilt trip · odor · pizza · Provo · questionable logic · rebuttals · shit · that's disgusting · that's unhealthy · toilet · Utah · WTF?
September 21st, 2010 · 35 Comments
Both Lauren and Maureen took note of this sign outside a fish warehouse in an industrial area of Greenpoint, Brooklyn.
“I found the combination of ‘Balls’ (capitalized!) and ‘Courtesy’ a hilarious mix of politeness and vulgarity,” Maureen says. “I also thought it was funny that they are offended not only by the neighbors’ complaints but by the fact that people don’t complain to them about the smell.”
related: Eau dear
Tags: Brooklyn · excessive capitalization · fish · odor
Really, folks? You share a kitchen and a bathroom, and this is all you’ve got to complain about?
::sigh:: White bread problems…
(Thanks to Sarah Jane in Australia and Michelle in Canada for submitting!)
related: Is this a thing now?
extra credit: Toasted Toast Post-it Notes [Amazon.com]
Tags: Australia · bread · roommates · siblings · smiley · spelling and grammar police · Waterloo
If you’re looking for an opportunity to study the unique social behavior of primates, there’s a compound in Orlando, Florida you might be interested in visiting.
Consider the package below, which a female named Misty (and no, that’s not a pseudonymous nod to Dian Fossey) recently found outside her dwelling, #14302, apparently left there by the group of lower-ranking females residing directly below.
As you’ve observed, Dr. Goodall, dominant female chimpanzees have been known to deliberately kill the young of other females in the troop in order to maintain their dominance, so perhaps the preemptive Heath-bar offering accompanying the plea for quiet was an intelligent move on the part of these lesser-ranked females.
I’m sure you’ll agree, however, that further scientific study is necessary before any conclusions are drawn.
related: Please get yourself some slippers.
Tags: candy · neighbors · noise · Orlando · visual aids
Elana in North Rustico, Canada spotted this tart exchange inside her friend Shannon’s fridge.
Shannon, no doubt hoping to avoid getting called out for interfering with her roommate’s yogurt supply, wrote the first note. Her roommate Michael, perhaps taking issue with the note’s mildly patronizing tone, fired back with his own written retort. And as for the yogurts? Yup, still in the fridge.
related: Who’s the smartass?
Tags: Canada · fridge · most popular notes of 2010 · rebuttals · roommates · smartass · yogurt
For her 28th birthday, Jennifer in Arizona received this thoughtful card from her mother-in-law (who apparently comes from the same school of gift-giving as my own Grandma Cookie). “Since April I’ve lost 15 pounds,” Jennifer explains. “Apparently she’s concerned that I’ll gain it back.”
related: Take this and go buy yourself a couple of scales, okay, sweetie?
Tags: Arizona · birthday · ice cream · irregular capitalization · Mothers-in-Law · your/you're
Frustrated by fridge thieves who continually ignore your polite (or not-so-polite) requests to keep their paws to themselves? Don’t get mad — get creative! You could end up with something so crazy it might actually work…that is, if it doesn’t totally backfire.
You could go for the classic bluff, with the hopes that you’ll inspire just enough self-doubt to encourage the thief to go for the next lunch bag over.
Or you could hold out hope that the thief in question is either very lazy, very stupid…
…or that he or she appreciates your twisted sense of humor enough to take mercy on your pathetic self.
Or you could just bring this for lunch. (Somehow, I think this would have been safe, even without the note.)
Thanks to Theresa in Birmingham, Alabama; Stacey in Manchester, New Hampshire; Alissa in Memphis, Tennessee; and Marianne in Dublin, Ireland for submitting!
related: That’s breastmilk!
Tags: beverages · cheese · fish · food · most popular notes of 2010 · not-so-veiled threats · office fridge · stealing · tea · water