Entries Tagged as 'yogurt'

An open letter to the person who ate my yogurt

March 19th, 2012 · 128 Comments

Well done, Andy.

To the person that ate my Strawberry Chobani yogurt: MMMM, nom nom nom, it was probably pretty good, right? I specifically knew you'd like that flavor. I put it in the Ziploc bag for you on purpose so if it leaked in your backpack it wouldn't make a mess. I put it in the crisper drawer for you so it wouldn't get crushed, or, god forbid, somebody else see it and then snag it for a snag. You'd be so hungry if that happened. Greek yogurt is just delish, isn't it?

related: Yogurt thieves!

Tags: fridge · most popular notes of 2012 · sarcasm · TL;DR · yogurt

We will not stand for this crap.

February 16th, 2011 · 31 Comments

Nope, the note below isn’t from a old folks home: it’s actually from a music camp for the young’uns.

So, is the writer taking liberties using the royal we? Or is the entire woodwind section really so backed up that prune juice has become a hot commodity? These are questions I’d rather not think about.

Please do not eat. We are really constipated & we really need to eat this. Do not eat.

On that note, when you complain about your missing Activia — the yogurt Jamie Lee Curtis euphemistically claims will “regulate your digestive system” — referring to said yogurt as “ma shit” may not be the best choice of words to get your point across.

I would appreciate if you fuckin stop taking my stuff. Whoever took my Activia if I find you I will kick the shit out of you. I am a student just like you with no money! So please STOP TAKING MA SHIT

related: Live and not-so-active roommate culture

extra credit: Activia Won’t Cure your Constipation, says FTC [cbsnews.com]

(Thanks to Isaac in Missouri and Kim in Chicago for their submissions!)

Tags: eww · not-so-veiled threats · shit · stealing · TMI · yogurt

Live and not-so-active roommate culture

August 22nd, 2010 · 78 Comments

Elana in North Rustico, Canada spotted this tart exchange inside her friend Shannon’s fridge.

Shannon, no doubt hoping to avoid getting called out for interfering with her roommate’s yogurt supply, wrote the first note. Her roommate Michael, perhaps taking issue with the note’s mildly patronizing tone, fired back with his own written retort. And as for the yogurts? Yup, still in the fridge.

These yogurts expired July 24 Today is Aug 12. What should we do? Run for our lives

related: Who’s the smartass?

Tags: Canada · fridge · most popular notes of 2010 · rebuttals · roommates · smartass · yogurt

And those Cheetos were my baby’s yellow dye #6

June 26th, 2009 · 90 Comments

This all-staff e-mail is like a fetus-sized version of one of my favorite self-righteous masterpieces. (How this one got buried in my inbox for so long, I have no idea.)

It comes to us courtesy of Jennifer in Chapel Hill, N.C., who notes: “In this instance, ‘local users,’ is everyone in our corporate HQ — including the president, vice presidents, directors, legal counsel, etc., who don’t typically utilize the refrigerator in the staff break room.”

You are welcome!

related: It must have been a pretty big bite

extra credit: STFU, Parents

 

Tags: all-staff e-mail · Moms & Dads · North Carolina · office · office fridge · preggers · runaway run-on sentences · stealing · yogurt