Entries Tagged as 'frenemies'

Do any of your little meat-eating friends want a cat?

February 5th, 2012 · 182 Comments

You might recall this epic note — the obnoxious vegan roommate who “forbade” her roommate from bringing animal products into the apartment. Our original submitter writes in to say that since that showdown, she decided to move out (in favor of a more omnivore-friendly living environment).

“After almost five months of zero communication,” she reports, “my ex-roomie started texting me out of nowhere. It appears her vegan fanaticism is still putting her at odds with others.”

Hi. I adopted a cat in November. Tried to maintain it on a vegan diet, but all the vets I saw say this is bad. I've decided I want to give it up and get a bunny. I posted a status on FB advertising it for adoption and no one responded. Really don't want it around me anymore. Since you have a primitive diet, would you mind adopting it?

 Sorry I don't like cats. Take it to a shelter.  Yeah, no. See, that's exactly what I'm trying to AVOID. Do any of your little meat-eating friends want a cat?  They either already have pets or don't want any. Sorry.  Okay. Thanks for being super useful as always!

related: My self-righteous vegan roommate

Tags: cats · frenemies · just an asshole · text message · Would you mind?

Dear couchsurfer: here’s a clue you might have overstayed your welcome

August 3rd, 2011 · 22 Comments

From Austin, Texas: a last-ditch attempt to get rid of a houseguest who took “Mi casa es su casa” a bit too literally…

Be out by Friday or I will remove you & change the locks (Hug Me)

related: Couchsurfing Greg gets pissed

Tags: Austin · frenemies · heart · moving/not moving · nice stationery · not-so-veiled threats

That rug really tied the room together, did it not?

March 7th, 2011 · 129 Comments

So, like, “our friend got really drunk and stayed in our room, but when she got up to pee, she opened up the door to our suitemate’s room instead of the bathroom and peed on the rug,” writes our submitter in California. “It was apparently his favorite rug and since he’s spoiled, he asked her to get him a new one.”

Um, okay. “Spoiled,” or not, I’m gonna have to side with the dude here. Offering to clean/replace the rug seems like the very least Drunky McDrunkface could do, no?

Hey Christina, Thanks for pissing on our carpet while we were trying to sleep. You owe me a new one, and maybe you shouldn't drink so much. Your friends in 21C.

related: You’re not wrong, Walter.

Tags: actually totally reasonable · California · drizzunk · frenemies · piss · roommates · thanks (but not really)

And you’re not invited to my birthday party, either.

March 2nd, 2011 · 240 Comments

So, Dana was hanging out at a friend’s place with a bunch of people, and — as many people do these days — was texting back and forth with her significant other in the midst of the conversation. Our submitter didn’t give any indication that this was a formal dinner party or anything like that, but apparently the host was so enraged by Dana’s breach of etiquette that he or she left the room to type, print, and sign this note, and then — due to the lack of an available notary public — handed it directly to Dana.

Dear Dana, I'm not really into those people people who sit and text or talk to their significant others all the time. Especially when it's someone I haven't seen in awhile. Get out.

related: We’re ALL busy, man.

Tags: cell phone · etiquette · frenemies · most popular notes of 2011 · sig o · text message

What your Facebook “friends” are all secretly thinking about your whiny status updates

December 18th, 2010 · 91 Comments

…it just takes a true frenemy to actually say it.

Man... You're *always* whining about how busy you are... Seriously, it's like *every* status update I see with your name on it is like *ehhh [redacted] is so busy blahaaeeehh* or something...We're all fucking busy man.

related: Busy, but not too busy for the important things in life…like Farmville.

Tags: cry me a freaking river · Facebook · frenemies · most popular notes of 2010 · Sydney

Because you’re not really knocked up ’til it’s validated by Web 2.0

May 20th, 2010 · 96 Comments

So, these two crazy kids (both of whom still live with their parents, according to our submitter), had a lil’ accident. A really exciting one! So exciting they decided the best way to share the news was en masse, via Facebook status update! So be excited for them, dammit!!!

[Redacted] and her amazing and wonderful boyfriend and best friend and going to be parents! This is a huge surprise but were [sic] very excited! Taking bets on the gender! .... I am really disappointed that hardly any of my friends congratulated me or wished me well. Thanks alot [sic] you jerks!

related: Children are such a blessing.

Thanks for not buying me the Diaper Genie I registered for!!!

Tags: alot · Facebook · frenemies · preggers · spelling and grammar police

 
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