PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » frenemies

Do any of your little meat-eating friends want a cat?

Kerry — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 00:49:15 +0000

You might recall this epic note — the obnoxious vegan roommate who “forbade” her roommate from bringing animal products into the apartment. Our original submitter writes in to say that since that showdown, she decided to move out (in favor of a more omnivore-friendly living environment).

“After almost five months of zero communication,” she reports, “my ex-roomie started texting me out of nowhere. It appears her vegan fanaticism is still putting her at odds with others.”

Dear couchsurfer: here’s a clue you might have overstayed your welcome

Kerry — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 21:54:20 +0000

From Austin, Texas: a last-ditch attempt to get rid of a houseguest who took “Mi casa es su casa” a bit too literally…

related: Couchsurfing Greg gets pissed

That rug really tied the room together, did it not?

Kerry — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 00:49:25 +0000

So, like, “our friend got really drunk and stayed in our room, but when she got up to pee, she opened up the door to our suitemate’s room instead of the bathroom and peed on the rug,” writes our submitter in California. “It was apparently his favorite rug and since he’s spoiled, he asked her to get him a new one.”

Um, okay. “Spoiled,” or not, I’m gonna have to side with the dude here. Offering to clean/replace the rug seems like the very least Drunky McDrunkface could do, no?

related: You’re not wrong, Walter.

And you’re not invited to my birthday party, either.

Kerry — Thu, 03 Mar 2011 00:23:01 +0000

So, Dana was hanging out at a friend’s place with a bunch of people, and — as many people do these days — was texting back and forth with her significant other in the midst of the conversation. Our submitter didn’t give any indication that this was a formal dinner party or anything like that, but apparently the host was so enraged by Dana’s breach of etiquette that he or she left the room to type, print, and sign this note, and then — due to the lack of an available notary public — handed it directly to Dana.

related: We’re ALL busy, man.

What your Facebook “friends” are all secretly thinking about your whiny status updates

Kerry — Sat, 18 Dec 2010 19:29:52 +0000

…it just takes a true frenemy to actually say it.

Because you’re not really knocked up ’til it’s validated by Web 2.0

Kerry — Fri, 21 May 2010 01:00:16 +0000

So, these two crazy kids (both of whom still live with their parents, according to our submitter), had a lil’ accident. A really exciting one! So exciting they decided the best way to share the news was en masse, via Facebook status update! So be excited for them, dammit!!!

related: Children are such a blessing.

Thanks for not buying me the Diaper Genie I registered for!!!

Because a true friend would never turn down an opportunity to play stupid games and buy you expensive crap

Kerry — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 01:00:23 +0000

…especially when the invitation is extended via your Facebook wall to everyone you know.

Or (oopsies!) almost everyone you know.

extra credit: STFU, Parents

Your Facebook friends: just not that into you.

Kerry — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 23:29:25 +0000

Facebook: always there to remind you of all the fun you’re not having.

Facebook wedding drama

Kerry — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 00:18:15 +0000

As always, Facebook users are keepin’ it classy.

related: Tant pis, mon amie

extra credit: STFU, Marrieds

…but I hope it was good

Kerry — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 15:12:22 +0000

…because there’s no measure of self-worth more important than the public acknowledgment that you were, in fact, born.

related: but…but…i didn’t forget!

The analog version of a Facebook wall post

Kerry — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 23:54:41 +0000

This note appeared on the whiteboard in Whitney’s dorm room the day after she got in a fight with her roommate, Ashley, and accused her of using her friends. The note was written by Ashley’s cousin, Angela, and while addressed to “Ash,” seems more directed at the room’s other resident.

Some advice on roommate living

Kerry — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 12:30:42 +0000

Our anonymous submitter was mildly amused when he noticed this little hypothetical how-to pop up in his Facebook feed. But the real kicker, he realized, is that the one person tagged in the note happens to be (ouch) the notewriter’s current roommate.

Adds our submitter: “To my surprise, the girl never commented on it, but I’m sure she got the message — she was called out!”

related: Some dating advice

Friends don’t lie 2 friends

Kerry — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 07:30:05 +0000

I’ll admit, my first thought upon reading this note — found in the hallways of an American high school — was something along the lines of “Argh, kids today, with their chatspeak!” Can we all agree that adolescent girls are probably the most passive-aggressive creatures on earth?

related: 2 good 2 be 4gotten

Snaps for schadenfreude!

Kerry — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 20:50:12 +0000

Facebook‘s new “I like this” feature doesn’t allow you to give “thumbs down” to your friends’ status updates or posted links — a boon to both the supportive, snap-cup-loving, kindergarten-teacher-types on your friends list and the die-hard passive-aggressives on your frenemies list!

The even bigger “ouch”?