Entries Tagged as 'garbage'

How DARE you.

March 17th, 2012 · 48 Comments

Our submitter, Cynthia, spotted this exchange clipped to a fence in her Seattle neighborhood. “I love the meanness of trying to publicly shame my neighbor into returning this amazing garbage can, and my other neighbor’s overly offended response,” Cynthia says. As of yet, she adds, “the mystery of the missing garbage can remains unsolved.”

Meanwhile, I think some of us are still a little confused about what type of emergency constitutes calling 911. (Hint: a missing garbage can is not one of them.)

One of the neighbors told us they saw you take a white garbage can from our yard. It is custom for our cabinets [sic] and we need it. Please return it.  No questions asked.  Thank you. Response: No questions asked, how dare you. You got the wrong neighbors.  look [e]lsewhere for your can. Or call 911.You could of [sic] asked us about it instead of leaving a nasty note.

related: An eye for an eye, an eyesore for an eyesore

Tags: garbage · neighbors · Oops? · Seattle · stealing

Karma Police

January 12th, 2012 · 55 Comments

This is what you get when you mess with us:

If you "attempt" to throw something away & miss or if the trashcan is already full & you pile it on top, or if the bag has fallen in & you don't fit it & just add your disgusting garbage to it, then WE HATE YOU! Don't worry about who "WE" are, just worry about cleaning up after yourself. IT IS BAD KARMA to leave your trash lying around!!! <3 the karma police have a nice day! :)

In other words: You’re a creep. You’re a weirdo. What the hell are you doing here? You don’t belong here!

SODA in H2O cups is BAD KARMA

Please help prevent bad karma: DO NOT flush feminine hygiene products.  Place in waste basket.  Thank you, Management.

(Thanks to Bonnie from North Carolina, Eric in California, and Paperback Writer in Pittsburgh for their submissions!)

 

related: Karma’s a bitch.

Tags: Coke · garbage · have a nice day · karma's a bitch · smiley · toilet

Am I crazy? (Check yes or no)

November 30th, 2011 · 97 Comments

Despite what her neighbor would have you believe, Mim in Adelaide, Australia says she doesn’t actually just toss her trash into the street. In this case, she simply put out hard rubbish our for collection a few days earlier than suited the residents of 59 Windsor.

Mim says this note is just the latest installment in an ongoing litany of complaints, which “always come with the multi-coloured swirly script and hearts. They crack me up every time!”

The people next door are selling their house. Please don't spoil it by leaving your fucking rubbish in the avenue. Thank you

related: Stay classy, Little Rock

Tags: Australia · excessive capitalization · garbage · heart · neighbors · there goes the neighborhood

So close, and yet…

September 1st, 2011 · 99 Comments

Darin in Chicago came across the note on the side of his neighbor’s garage just as he was throwing his own dog’s crap in the trash can. (This is kinda like getting out the new roll of TP, but then leaving it on the side of the sink to get wet instead of just putting it on the dispenser…except, worse.)

You pick up the dog crap, but insist on leaving it next to the garbage can. I don't understand.

I don’t really understand the logic here either, but perhaps this particular dog owner is still dealing with the scars from dealing with neighbors like this one, from Ottawa:

OLD LADY If I Catch You In The Act Of Putting Your Dogs Crap In Our Cans. I Will Cut Off Your Head And Bolt It To The Hood Of My Car

related: This is not a trash can

Tags: Chicago · dogs · excessive capitalization · garbage · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · recycling · shit · You call that punctuation?

And what’s the magic word?

August 4th, 2011 · 27 Comments

From a frat house in Denton, Texas…

STAY THE FUCK OUT Please

to an alley in Sydney, Australia…

Do not throw rubbish here [fucker!!!] PLEASE

back to a dorm room in Richmond, Virginia…

Please - DON'T SLAM THE FUCKING DOOR -thanks :)

…the notion of “minding your manners” takes a few somewhat compromising turns along the way.

related: Please, body hair is unsanitary (source: webmd.com)

Tags: college life · door-slamming · fratboys · garbage · pleasantries as afterthought · pointlessly self-censored profanity

Beware of argumentative farm animals!

June 19th, 2011 · 63 Comments

This indignant note nearly made Mike [sic] with laughter when he saw it posted in the lobby of his apartment building in Surrey, B.C.

(Oh, those Canadians — so hilarious! Even when they’re not trying to be!)

Attention Neighbours!!!!!!! There is a discussing [sic] PIG among us. Someone is leaving bags and bags of garbage in our hallway and stairwell. This has been recurring in the last few weeks and must be stopped! These bags were large garbage bags that were fully, smelly, and already had flies coming from them. Whoever you are, I am watching out for you! And now, so too will your neighbours! You should be ashamed of yourself! If you are this dirty, I am sure your apartment is also a reflection of that. I THINK I SPEAK FOR EVERYONE WHO LIVES IN THIS BUILDING, THAT WE DON'T WANT FLIES, COCROCHES [sic] OR ANY BUGS ASSOCIATED WITH IMPROPER HYGENE [sic]! Or people like you! GROW UP! Signed, A responsible member of society!!!!!!

related: A note from Dirty Lady #2

Tags: bold-underlined-caps · exclamation-point happy!!!! · garbage · grow up · hygiene · neighbors · odor · public shaming · spelling and grammar police

And don’t you DARE clean out the freezer — I have important bills in there!

May 1st, 2011 · 91 Comments

“My roommate is a total slob,” says Elinor in Toronto, so after two weeks away from the apartment, she wasn’t too surprised to see the kitchen piled high with several delightfully fragrant, filled-to-the-brim garbage bags. When she went to throw them out, Elinor discovered one of the bags was actually filled with clothes, so she put that one in her roommate’s room.

The next morning, Elinor found both of these notes slid under her bedroom door.

[note 1:] Dear Elinor, You threw out an important bag of clothes that was in the kitchen. If you don't know what it is, don't touch it. -for FUCK SAKES! [note 2:] Never mind -found it ...sorry

related: Stop! Don’t chute!

Tags: garbage · Oops? · roommates · Toronto · touching

Roadside intervention

December 26th, 2010 · 53 Comments

So, has holiday time with your family got you reachin’ for the nearest bottle of Mad Dog yet? No? Well, then allow us here at PAN to help bring you back to the depressing world of real life.

Janet spotted this display by the side of the road in her “very small-town community” in Virginia. “I’m sure this person is known by some who will see the sign — maybe even the local sheriff,” she says. “At first I laughed, but then I thought it was just sad.”

Nancy [license plate number] - Put your wine bottles in a trash can - not here! Don't drink + drive!

related: Won’t somebody think o’ the ’possums?

Tags: actually totally reasonable · driving · drizzunk · garbage · public shaming · small town living · Virginia

My parents pay $51,000 a year for this Ivory Tower, and I’m not going to leave it without a fight.

May 18th, 2010 · 134 Comments

Our submitter, P, is a sophomore at a certain university in upstate New York (the one that typically ties with Penn for the Ivy League university most people forget is actually in the Ivy League).

Students are moving out of the dorms this week, P says, so facilities management locked the building’s garbage chute to prevent it from overflowing. “Instead, residents are supposed to take the trash to a dumpster that’s a couple of feet away from the building — we even have an elevator!”

But what if your sense of entitlement is like, too heavy to make it to that elevator? Hello, note war!

I pay $51,000 a year to go to this school. I'm not walking my garbage downstairs when there is a fully functioning garbage chute behind this door. It will be in the hall waiting for you :)

Don't you understand that a facilities management person is going to have to carry all of your trash outside? Do you really think they get the $51,000 'YOU' pay? It doesn't matter how entitled you think you are, no one should have to deal with your mess or pick up after you. I would be so ashamed to call someone like you a friend or acquaintance. Unbelievable.

related: At Oberlin, that $48,000 a year doesn’t include toilet paper.

extra credit: What not to wear in Ithaca [Ivygate]

Tags: college life · garbage · Ithaca · just an asshole · note wars · smiley

Trash talk

April 27th, 2010 · 93 Comments

I’m sure these ladies thank their lucky stars every day that they have each other as roommates. Wouldn’t you?

YOU LADIES ARE LUCKY IM NOT PETTY Because I could easily SAY

related: Your trash stinks. Grow up, thanks.

Tags: apostrophe abuse · college life · garbage · mean girls · Orlando · roommates · that's disgusting · whiteboard