PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » Georgia

The Toilet Paper Manifesto

Kerry — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 06:58:10 +0000

When four people share one bathroom, true equity in toilet-paper purchasing is nearly impossible to come by without conflict.

Just take a look at the opening salvo issued at Laura’s apartment in Georgia:

…and the first response:

Your move, “Scott.”

Bad luck you

Kerry — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 00:26:34 +0000

“My parents have a large front yard,” writes David in Georgia, “and up until a few years ago, it had about 40 trees in it.” Unfortunately, an arborist informed David’s parents that those trees, while they looked normal enough, had become infested and essentially hollowed-out by insects, killing the trees and turning them into a pretty big safety risk in the case of a storm. At the arborist’s recommendation — and I’m sure, at all no small expense — David’s parents had the trees removed.

Fast forward a few months to December, when the family put up their usual holiday decorations — little trees made of Christmas lights — throughout the front yard. Soon after, David says, the family received two items of interest in their mailbox:

1. A certificate of recognition from the Arbor Day Foundation, “thanking us for our efforts to prevent further tree deaths”
2. This handmade holiday card.

Adds David: “This person obviously put a lot of work into carefully drawing and writing it; the artwork and penmanship are immaculate. If only they’d put as much effort into asking us why we were having the trees removed.”

The Year of the Rabbit is off to a lucky start!

Kerry — Fri, 11 Feb 2011 01:44:49 +0000

…at least that’s the spin the managers of this Atlanta restaurant are going with.

(Thanks to Nicole and her friend Sam for submitting.)

related: Recession incentive plan

Take a moment and look up the word RUDE.

Kerry — Thu, 06 Jan 2011 22:13:11 +0000

Just in case you were still under the impression that leaving an anonymous note will somehow allow you to maintain the moral high ground, take a look at this classic neighborly exchange from Drew‘s apartment building in Atlanta.

related: I hope your cat chokes

Please stop feeding the homeless

Kerry — Thu, 09 Dec 2010 01:59:41 +0000

Now, our submitter Kenny doesn’t want to you to get the wrong idea about his buddy Lamar. Yes, Lamar drives an old church van, but he works at a piercing parlor — he’s not the kind of rabble-rouser who’d go around doing things like, say, “feeding the hungry.”

Apparently, however, one of Lamar’s neighbors in the Little Five Points neighborhood of Atlanta saw the van and concluded otherwise — leaving behind this disapproving note for him to meditate on.

extra credit: Donate to the Metro Atlanta Task Force for the Homeless via PayPal

Donate to the National Alliance to End Homelessness via PayPal

And heaven forbid a man even imagine cleaning a toilet himself…

Kerry — Sat, 13 Nov 2010 22:00:18 +0000

Katrina‘s husband spotted this sign in the men’s room of his office in Roswell, Georgia, shortly before the boss ordered it taken down. (The “…or I will cut you” part of the manager’s removal directive was implied, obviously. Because that’s just how they do things around there.)

Please take me at my word that I’ve been working out lately

Kerry — Thu, 11 Nov 2010 02:07:23 +0000

Our anonymous submitter didn’t catch the original note about “slaming [sic] the door,” but you can get a pretty good idea of what it said based on the carefully worded response from the recipient, John (who, like Dustin, simply isn’t aware of his own strength at times).

Meanwhile, this note, as seen by Felix in Atlanta, was clearly left by a neighbor without a law degree.

(I’m guessing a dog; cats are way more passive-aggressive.)

related: Door-slamming sign slam

The joys of teaching

Kerry — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 22:44:47 +0000

Our submitter, an English teacher in Thailand, received this letter from a parent so notorious at the school for notes like this that she has her own nickname among the staff — “SS, as in nuttier than squirrel shit.” The exasperating part, our submitter says, is the mother’s uncanny ability to “correct” non-mistakes in her daughter’s essays. (“As you may guess from reading, the daughter’s English is better than her own,” she says.)

And as tempted as she was to correct the mother’s grammar in her note, “I had to stop, for fear of my head exploding.”

If that note left a bit of a bad taste in your mouth (or you’re one of those short-attention span “TL;DR types,”) not to worry: enjoy this end-of-the-year note written to a first-grade teacher in Atlanta. No, it’s not passive-aggressive…just adorable.

related: Sympathy for the Devil

extra credit: Fuck yeah, New York City Teaching Fellows!

Passive-Aggressive Kitchen-Sink Poetry

Kerry — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 05:01:35 +0000

So, which of these cutesy little rhymes is least likely to make you stab yourself in the eye?

Exhibit a) from an office break room in Atlanta, Georgia?

Exhibit b) from a college dorm suite in Winston-Salem, North Carolina?

Or — smiley-face-free! — exhibit c) from a share house full of frat boys in Los Angeles?

Still there? If so, you probably need a palate-cleanser after all those cringe-worthy couplets, so I’ll leave you with this delicate haiku from an office in Washington, D.C.

related: Scatological Poetry Slam

The passive-aggressive wunderkind

Kerry — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 17:28:02 +0000

Mandie in Sullivan, Illinois found this love note from her six-year-old daughter tucked under her pillow one night. Can we get this kid on a stamp, stat? I think she has a future at Hallmark (or someecards).

Perhaps she could work on getting this prototype (by six-year-old Max in Marietta, Georgia) into production.

related: The joys of motherhood

In other words…move it along, Grandma!

Kerry — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 22:52:07 +0000

Both of these signs would have gotten their points across perfectly well in just a few words…but the true passive-aggressive always knows how to convey his or her true meaning with just one more choice phrase.

Exhibit a) from Paula in Logan, Utah:

Exhibit b) spotted by my pal Brooke in Savannah, Georgia:

related: That means you, Edith

The right to bear fruit

Kerry — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 22:14:04 +0000

Three U.S. cities where nature-lovers might want to keep their hands to themselves:

1. Austin, Texas

2. Macon, Georgia

3. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

(Thanks to Don in Austin, Elizabeth in Macon, and Jasmine in Pittsburgh for risking the wrath of some devoted gardening/second amendment enthusiasts to document these warnings.)

related: No “questions” asked

ABP on the V8

kerry — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 00:03:00 +0000

nobody likes it when food goes missing from the office fridge, but one v8-drinking facilities staffer in savannah, georgia wanted to make her displeasure a bit more official.

adds our anonymous submitter: “as you can see, the pest control department took appropriate action.”

But He took the wheel

Kerry — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 06:23:23 +0000

Summer from Decatur, Georgia says she found this note “left on a car piously parked while attempting to attend mass on vacation” in Galveston, Texas.

Stealing Hot Pockets is apparently not the only thing that Jesus wouldn’t do.