PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » gloriously redundant

The Toilet Paper Manifesto

Kerry — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 06:58:10 +0000

When four people share one bathroom, true equity in toilet-paper purchasing is nearly impossible to come by without conflict.

Just take a look at the opening salvo issued at Laura’s apartment in Georgia:

…and the first response:

Your move, “Scott.”

But where is the dental clinic?

Kerry — Fri, 26 Aug 2011 00:53:13 +0000

Patti in Madrid, Spain couldn’t help but laugh when she saw this notice. “I kept imagining all the losers buzzing random apartments, asking, ‘Hey, is this the dental clinic?’” — presumably, until one of the frustrated residents posted this sign.

Translation: The dental clinic is at the button that says “dental clinic.” Thank you!

This flamingo has flown

Kerry — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 23:31:43 +0000

Writes Leslie in Richmond, Virginia: “The note’s creator seems to have purposely made his/her community note as undecorative as possible, but left the USA sign, flag, toadstools, ceramic rabbit, and rainbow-colored pinwheels untouched.”

Personally, I would have liked to see if adding of few of these to the yard would have solved the problem.

All together now: please don’ climb da tree!

Kerry — Thu, 21 Apr 2011 15:09:59 +0000

Our submitter’s friend in Columbia, Missouri found this on the ground beneath a tree yesterday, “and she couldn’t just leave it there. It really was the perfect tree for climbing.”

(And the accompanying note really does have the perfect rhythm for a call-a-response revival stomp, no? I’d love to see what the Gregory Brothers could do with this…)

UPDATE: The Sneaky Mister has made my year!

A sign (or ten) that your HR department might have too much time on their hands

Kerry — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 00:56:22 +0000

The tenth-floor kitchen at this office has no fewer than ten of these painstakingly laminated, clip-art-covered notes — and our anonymous submitter says this kitchen is only the tip of the iceberg.

“Nearly all of the notes in our office receive the same attention to detail,” our submitter says. “Every time I come to work I have to remind myself that I’m not in a cartoon fairy-tale land of fun.”

Especially Deborah

Kerry — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 01:13:19 +0000

As this sign from a Montgomery, Alabama break room shows, “PopCorn Users” remain one of the most persecuted groups in the workplace today.

related: bizarre pardoning accident

Passive-aggressive mad libs

Kerry — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 19:56:49 +0000

This note from a “friendly neighbor” was put through the mailslot of Dan’s apartment in the heart of South Philly. Says Dan: “I wanted to put ‘thanks for the advice!’ on the door in response, but thought better of it.”

As infuriating as the note was, “I do love how they phoned in the underlining on ‘of’ and ‘the,’ then went to town with ‘curb,’” Dan says. “Thank you, friendly neighbor, for the best piece of bulletin board material I’ve ever gotten.”

related: two birds with one snowman

Sheena is a paintballer

Kerry — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 00:03:47 +0000

Where do you suppose this “anomous” Tampa, Florida resident stands on the whole nature-vs.-nurture debate?

Interested? here’s a free preview!

Bozo kids" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3268/2628715140_8e92e0bbd7.jpg" alt="Crappy parents > Bozo kids" width="250" height="374" />

related: your to lazy

It takes a “genius” to come up with a potluck theme like this one

Kerry — Wed, 28 May 2008 23:57:59 +0000

Dealing with the rantings of your crazy boss or overzealous receptionist is one thing, but what do you do when your office’s resident passive-aggressive note-leaver doesn’t even work there? Casey in San Diego (a.k.a. RunBarbara) says that’s the situation she’s found herself in at her job.

The offender, Sandra, “has met me a total of twice, both times for less than a minute,” Casey says. Yet for some reason, when Sandra (the aunt of the owner) stops by the office once a week to water the plants and drop off supplies, “she leaves these strange notes EVERYWHERE — and she almost always directs questions about said notes to me,” Casey says. “I often have no idea she posts these notes until someone asks me about the odd directions in them.”

Below, a small sampling of Sandra’s delightfully bizarrre directives. (Just click on the photos to enlarge.)

I’d like to think this note was posted immediately following the “potluck”…

related: The return of Thx Sandra!

Stop! In the name of clip art.

Kerry — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 00:28:18 +0000

Like this phrase, there are a few irritating little pieces of clip art that keep popping up in submissions over and over again. Hovering somewhere near the top of most-wanted list is this pouty little white-gloved dandy.

From the factories of Pittsburgh…

…to the cube-farms of Virginia, this perspiring misanthrope has been spreading his message of intolerance with impunity.

But, once again, it’s a note from a church bathroom (this one spotted by Jess in Boston) that really pushes things to a whole new level of divine didacticism.

Can I get a witness?!

related: clip art crimes

Shittiest secret admirer ever?

Kerry — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 18:26:31 +0000

“My roommate thinks I took her dry erase board when I was 40 miles away the week it was taken,” says an anonymous college student in Tampa, Florida. “She has been leaving me notes like this ALL YEAR.”

God help our poor submitter, but I’m nominating this crazy rainbow of a note for the passive-aggressive hall of fame. (Prize: a year’s worth of anger-management therapy?)

The minor gall, the major rift

Kerry — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 21:23:08 +0000

To quote Chris Anderson responding to Milton Friedman: “A free lunch doesn’t necessarily mean the food is being given away or that you’ll pay for it later — it could just mean someone else is picking up the tab.”

Indeed, Craig in New York offers this example of the negative externalities that can come along with free stuff. On one hand: free soda. On the other: notes like these. (You can still see the CliffsNotes version peeking out from underneath.)

related: everyone deserves a cold drink

Be informed, Homeland Security will be

kerry — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 03:09:25 +0000

PES picked this note out of an apartment building in Newark, New Jersey in 2004 because he loved the third paragraph, which is oh-so-amazing. Add in the peculiar diction and the glorious redundancy of it all, and you’ve got one fucking delicious note.

related: Your to lazy

extra credit: For more deliciousness, be sure to check out the stop-motion shorts at eatpes.com.

Cubicle etiquette

Kerry — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 14:44:08 +0000

This series of signs (all made by one person, and pinned up across an entire bulletin board) is among my all-time favorites. The glorious redundancies, the inappropriate quotation marks, the clip art — oh, it’s just too good.

(Yeah, the last one is blurry. Our anonymous Canadian submitter apologizes.)