Entries Tagged as 'gloriously redundant'

Especially Deborah

August 17th, 2008 · 215 Comments

As this sign from a Montgomery, Alabama breakroom shows, “PopCorn Users” remain one of the most persecuted groups in the workplace today.

Microwave PopCorn Users (Especially — Deborah) Do Not Burn PopCorn Do Not Leave PopCorn Unattended Stay Here While popcorn cooks

related: Bizarre pardoning accident

Tags: Alabama · bold-underlined-caps · excessive underlining · gloriously redundant · high on highlighter · irregular capitalization · microwave · Montgomery · most popular notes of 2008 · office · popcorn

Passive-aggressive mad libs

July 30th, 2008 · 132 Comments

This note from a “friendly neighbor” was put through the mailslot of Dan’s apartment in the heart of South Philly. Says Dan: “I wanted to put ‘thanks for the advice!’ on the door in response, but thought better of it.”

Hey, Trash goes out Tuesday Night after 7:00 p.m. + should be put out on the curb, not against the house. You may want to invest in trash cans for the back of the property or ask the owner of the building to do so. Thanks, Friendly Neighbor

As infuriating as the note was, “I do love how they phoned in the underlining on ‘of’ and ‘the,’ then went to town with ‘curb,’” Dan says. “Thank you, friendly neighbor, for the best piece of bulletin board material I’ve ever gotten.”

related: Two birds with one snowman

Tags: excessive underlining · garbage · gloriously redundant · neighbors · Philadelphia

Sheena is a paintballer

July 9th, 2008 · 181 Comments

Where do you suppose this “anomous” Tampa, Florida resident stands on the whole nature-vs.-nurture debate?

PAINTBALL "PUNK" YOU WERE RAISED BY: TOTAL IDIOT PARENTS!

The Apple did not fall far from the tree! Your dad = idiot, son = little idiot $250 REWARD NAME THE IDIOT THAT SHOT PAINTBALL AT MY DOOR!

PARENTING 101 LEARN TO BE A REAL PARENT 10 LESSONS FREE CLASS

Interested? here’s a free preview!

Crappy parents > Bozo kids; Caring parents > very nice kids

related: Your to lazy

Tags: "helpful" advice · CAPS LOCK · crazypants · dubious scientific claims · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Florida · gloriously redundant · irregular capitalization · kids today · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2008 · neighbors · spelling and grammar police · Tampa · the lawn · unnecessary "quotation marks"

It takes a “genius” to come up with a potluck theme like this one

May 28th, 2008 · 353 Comments

Dealing with the rantings of your crazy boss or overzealous receptionist is one thing, but what do you do when your office’s resident passive-aggressive note-leaver doesn’t even work there? Casey in San Diego (a.k.a. RunBarbara) says that’s the situation she’s found herself in at her job.

The offender, Sandra, “has met me a total of twice, both times for less than a minute,” Casey says. Yet for some reason, when Sandra (the aunt of the owner) stops by the office once a week to water the plants and drop off supplies, “she leaves these strange notes EVERYWHERE — and she almost always directs questions about said notes to me,” Casey says. I often have no idea she posts these notes until someone asks me about the odd directions in them.”

Below, a small sampling of Sandra’s delightfully bizarrre directives. (Just click on the photos to enlarge.)

TO THE MEN WHO ARE USING THE "WOMENS" LADIES ROOM

HELLO LADIES Potluck is on Friday!!!!!! The theme is Mongolia BBQ and I will be bringing ribs and hats if you would like one please let me know. Please sign up below for what you would like to bring. If you don't want to "bring" something but still want to eat potluck then please pay $5 to Casey in Human Resources. Some ideas of what to bring are fortune cookies, paper plates, fruit cups, things with no sugar because some ppl are diabetic, to, shrimp, salad, rice, diet drinks because some people like them to. Some things not to bring are cake and forks because we have some leftovers for the birthday potluck. Please sign below and say what you are going to bring!!!!!!! If you have an idea for a theme please talk to Casey in Human Resources. Thx, Sandra

I’d like to think this note was posted immediately following the “potluck”…

Hello ladies, This is the last time I will remind you: If you have to "throw up" please do it in the trash can. Then take the bag out of the trash can and dispose of it down-stairs in the "facilities" dumpster are pipes are old and can't handle "big jobs" like "throw up." Please also don't flush wrappers and trash papers etc because you can just use the trash can!!!!!!!!! Thx, Sandra

related: The return of Thx Sandra!

Tags: bathroom · battle of the sexes · blitzkrieg approach · California · CAPS LOCK · clip art catastrophe · crazypants · dubious scientific claims · exclamation-point happy!!!! · gloriously redundant · most popular notes of 2008 · office cop · party planning committee · San Diego · spelling and grammar police · thx · toilet · unnecessary "quotation marks" · vomit · You call that punctuation?

Stop! In the name of clip art.

April 15th, 2008 · 80 Comments

Like this phrase, there are a few irritating little pieces of clip art that keep popping up in submissions over and over again. Hovering somewhere near the top of most-wanted list is this pouty little white-gloved dandy.

From the factories of Pittsburgh…

STOP TAKING OTHER PEOPLE'S FOOD OUT OF THE REFRIGERATOR FREEZER IF IT DOESN'T BELONG TO YOU!

…to the cube-farms of Virginia, this perspiring misanthrope has been spreading his message of intolerance with impunity.

But, once again, it’s a note from a church bathroom (this one spotted by Jess in Boston) that really pushes things to a whole new level of divine didacticism.

No! Stop!

Can I get a witness?!

related: clip art crimes

Tags: bathroom · Boston · CAPS LOCK · clip art catastrophe · exclamation-point happy!!!! · gloriously redundant · most popular notes of 2008 · neighbors · office fridge · Pittsburgh

Shittiest secret admirer ever?

April 10th, 2008 · 154 Comments

“My roommate thinks I took her dry erase board when I was 40 miles away the week it was taken,” says an anonymous college student in Tampa, Florida. “She has been leaving me notes like this ALL YEAR.”

God help our poor submitter, but I’m nominating this crazy rainbow of a note for the passive-aggressive hall of fame. (Prize: a year’s worth of anger-management therapy?)

You don't know me...and to be honest I don't think you want to...but there is an issue that I need to address with you...and I'm not gonna be passive-aggressie about it. It has come to my attention that you have taken the white board that I gave Emily!!! And that angers me!!! I am not a child and I don't play childish games so let me put this as simply as I can...don't take shit that doesn't belong to you!!! I am writing this to you telling you to give Emily her shit back before I have to take matters into my own hands and get people involved that don't need to be in this...The next step in this little game is to go to our housing authority and I don't think you really want them to know about your skeeze-ball boyfriend living with you...or having to deal with the penalties and fines that come along with your ignorant acts! So stop being a cunt and give us the board back immediately. Thanks :) Your Secret Admirer

related: Which one of these is not like the other?

Tags: CAPS LOCK · crazypants · ellipses-crazed · exclamation-point happy!!!! · gloriously redundant · more aggressive than passive · most popular notes of 2008 · not-so-veiled threats · oh the irony · rainbow-colored · roommates · smiley · stealing · whiteboard

The minor gall, the major rift

March 11th, 2008 · 113 Comments

To quote Chris Anderson responding to Milton Friedman: “A free lunch doesn’t necessarily mean the food is being given away or that you’ll pay for it later — it could just mean someone else is picking up the tab.”

Indeed, Craig in New York offers this example of the negative externalities that can come along with free stuff. On one hand: free soda. On the other: notes like these. (You can still see the CliffsNotes version peeking out from underneath.)

ATTENTION: If you have found that you are a little thirsty and upon coming here to get refreshment you notice that your favorite FREE SOFT DRINK is not currently stocked in this refrigerator and you are concerned because you think the Refrigerator Stocking Angel might be failing in her duties and you don't know what to do next! Please! Don't panic! Quietly turn towards the right (assuming you are still facing the empty refrigerator). Notice the doors on your right. Look carefully behind one of these doors, and you might find several cases of assorted warm soft drinks. if you grab a SIX PACK of your favorite, carry it gently to the refrigerator, place that SIX-PACK on a shelf and then close the refrigerator door, you might discover that when you come back later for a soft drink (remember that it take a little time for them to chill), there are cold drinks for everyone. Hallelujah! P.S. You may need to do this daily but it really won't hurt you and the Refrigerator Stocking Angel will be really appreciate of your new display of self sufficiency!

related: everyone deserves a cold drink

Tags: a little patronizing · beverages · excessive underlining · gloriously redundant · high on highlighter · New York · p.s. · spelling and grammar police · TL;DR

Be informed, Homeland Security will be

November 6th, 2007 · 197 Comments

PES picked this note out of an apartment building in Newark, New Jersey in 2004 because he loved the third paragraph, which is oh-so-amazing. Add in the peculiar diction and the glorious redundancy of it all, and you’ve got one fucking delicious note.

be informed, homeland security will be

related: Your to lazy

extra credit: For more deliciousness, be sure to check out the stop-motion shorts at eatpes.com.

Tags: CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy!!!! · garbage · gloriously redundant · graffiti · landlords and property managers · loitering · most popular notes of 2007 · New Jersey · Newark · not-so-veiled threats · questionable logic · shameless meme-mongering · smoking · vandalism

Cubicle etiquette

July 17th, 2007 · 103 Comments

This series of signs (all made by one person, and pinned up across an entire bulletin board) is among my all-time favorites. The glorious redundancies, the inappropriate quotation marks, the clip art — oh, it’s just too good.

Cubicle Etiquette

PRIVACY

"SMELLS"

"NOISE"

SIGHTS

(Yeah, the last one is blurry. Our anonymous Canadian submitter apologizes.)

related: A clue your coworker isn’t up for cubicle small talk

Tags: blitzkrieg approach · Canada · cleaning · clip art catastrophe · etiquette · gloriously redundant · music · noise · odor · office · office cop · privacy · spelling and grammar police · unnecessary "quotation marks"