PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » God

The Vicar of Glibly

Kerry — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 05:05:01 +0000

Spotted by George outside his local church in East London:

Got game?

Kerry — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 01:29:00 +0000

While perusing the magazines at Barnes & Noble, Shelly found this bit of divine snark affixed to the latest XBOX magazine.

Haterz still will hate, I guess?

related: Cigarettes & energy drinks

So…atheists shop for free?

Kerry — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 04:55:27 +0000

Spotted by Analee at Houston’s annual Nutcracker Market, “a holiday shopping wonderland“…

related: No, He uses Vaseline.

The Toilet Paper Manifesto

Kerry — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 06:58:10 +0000

When four people share one bathroom, true equity in toilet-paper purchasing is nearly impossible to come by without conflict.

Just take a look at the opening salvo issued at Laura’s apartment in Georgia:

…and the first response:

Your move, “Scott.”

God may love you, but I can’t speak for the rest of the office

Kerry — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 00:02:12 +0000

Various religious-themed notes have been popping up all over our submitter’s workplace in Phoenix, Arizona. “Several co-workers have found these messages in their offices, stuck in between papers, and written on whiteboards,” she says, but so far no one has come forward to claim authorship.

One of most recent notes showed up in the office kitchen one morning.

Another note turned up beside it sometime after lunch.

Our Lady of Passive-Aggression

Kerry — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 01:07:03 +0000

“My friend and her mother have little exchanges like this via Facebook all the time,” says our anonymous submitter. “It’s always lovely to get these little peeks into their relationship.”

related: Best wishes, godless heathens!

So NOT where I thought that one was going…

Kerry — Sun, 24 Jul 2011 22:34:27 +0000

Writes Stacey in Massachusetts: “The church around the corner from my house is famous for the little rants on their sign, but this one definitely takes the cake.” Obviously, texting while driving isn’t cool, but as Stacey put it: “For a church, it just seems a bit…hostile.”

Meanwhile, I just opened up the August issue of Texas Monthly to see this slightly more gently worded version…

related: Sincerely, God

extra credit: Church sign generator

It’s not just God who’s watching you…

Kerry — Mon, 18 Jul 2011 03:17:41 +0000

While admiring a “very nice” church in Edinburgh, James was only slightly discomfited by this notice about the measures being taken to ensure his comfort.

related: He died for your clip art

Are you ready for your Rapture party?

Kerry — Fri, 20 May 2011 17:47:51 +0000

Stephanie in Kansas City, Missouri found this warning posted on the fridge after lunch today:

Around the same time, this note showed up on an office coffee-maker in Washington, D.C.:

Meanwhile, Ashley in Greenville, North Carolina forwards this example of a veiled threat, atheist-style:

related: Remember, God is watching you!

Hey, look! A coffee pot!

Kerry — Fri, 13 May 2011 12:05:31 +0000

This isn’t the first “coffee-maker etiquette” flowchart I’ve seen, but it is the most aesthetically pleasing.

Says Sarah in St. Louis: “The IT department in our office is notorious for drinking the last of the coffee without making more.” (Note the subtle “I heart C++” mug.) Apparently, one of her co-workers thought breaking things down into engineer-speak might help.

Meanwhile, in Toledo, Ohio…a variation tailored to a slightly different audience:

related: Passive-aggressive flowcharts

Jesus is my copilot…and my home security system.

Kerry — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 03:44:54 +0000

Gloria in Pennsylvania spotted this warning — sort of a New Testament twist on the old “lamb’s blood on the doorpost” trick — posted on a neighbor’s apartment door.

Now, maybe it’s because I’m a godless heathen, but if I ever took up a life of crime, I think I might find this sign from a West Virginia convenience store (as photographed by Matt in Brooklyn) just a bit more convincing.

Stop “blocking your blessing”

Kerry — Fri, 04 Feb 2011 04:19:11 +0000

Jo spotted this testimony in a restroom at the University of the Sciences in Philadelphia.

I guessing this particular portion of the Gospel of (the) John was lost in translation from the Greek or some such — a shame, cause “God doesn’t like ugly” would make a great protest sign.

Best wishes, godless heathens!

Kerry — Thu, 28 Oct 2010 01:07:07 +0000

Although at first glance this card might seem pretty harmless, our submitter in Sacramento says she’s had enough experience with her new husband’s ultra-religious cousins to be able to read between the lines. (Just add “…before you’re both condemned to eternal damnation” to the end of the last sentence and you’ll get the idea.)

Adds our bristling bride: “I felt like telling her she could keep her $50 and her guilt trip, too, but decided I would have my revenge by having a long, happy, secular marriage instead.”

extra credit: the front of the card

Merry Christmas! God told me to dump you.

Kerry — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 03:34:49 +0000

Sara says her sister in Waxhaw, North Carolina stumbled upon this personal inscription at a rummage sale of donated books.

Here’s a synopsis: Basically, our writer Robert starts out by giving himself a gold star for selecting such an “interesting” Christmas gift, then lets Leah down easy with the old “God told me I could do better” excuse, and finally peaces out with “So…see ya on christiansingles.com!”

Why Leah would want to part with such a precious gem, I have no idea.

related: The “Next to Marry” List