At least a half-dozen submitters (including Spencer, Kelsae, and Mark) would pick this one — from a pizzeria in Provo, Utah.
“For those who don’t know, “lower kingdoms” comes from Mormon theology, where they believe that people are sorted out into three kingdoms instead of the traditional heaven and hell option,” Kelsae says.
Adds Spencer: “There’s a [...]

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Joel in Glendale, California was raised in a religious Christian family, and apparently someone let it slip to his grandmother (bless her heart!) that he’s — gasp!— an atheist. Aaaaand…let the backhanded compliments begin!

Dear Joel, I have heard that you say you’re an athesis [sic]. I don’t believe that because you have so many Christian qualities. [...]

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Writes Sara in Cardiff, Wales: “Around this time last year, I noticed that the Jesus had been stolen from this city centre church’s Nativity scene. The church is surrounded by pubs and, as it can get quite messy in Cardiff on the weekend, it’s no surprise Jesus went AWOL. About a week later, the note [...]

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At college, more often than not, your sex life is everybody’s business. But don’t worry…it’s for your own good! For example, the writer of this first note (as spotted by Ashley at Missouri State) displays a heartwarming concern for her dorm-mate’s physical safety.

And as Vic and his friends at Arizona State’s Barrett Honors College discovered, [...]

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As this note from Columbus, Ohio demonstrates, ’tis the season to be hilariously self-righteous!

related: All I want for Christmas
extra credit: Baby Jesus Theft [Wikipedia]
Roundup of stolen Baby Jesus reports [Wonkette]
Baby Jesus found! [FOUND Magazine]

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Writes Ben in Snohomish, Washington: “We visit my aunt the same amount we visit the rest of our extended family, but for some reason she takes it personally that we don’t do so daily. She took the occasion of my son’s 11th birthday to take a shot at us.”

related: my condolences on your birthday

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Chris in Valdosta, Georgia came home last Halloween Eve to find this friendly reminder taped to every mailbox in his quiet little cul-de-sac. (“It’s a little worse for wear,” Chris explains, “because I ripped it off and stomped it on a few times before scanning it.”)

The underlying message, interestingly enough, actually isn’t all that different [...]

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Another sign of the times: Nick in Tampa, Florida says the sodas in his small office used to be free, but now they cost 50 cents. And yet, Nick says, “when they’re left out unguarded and unsecured, naturally, people steal them.” 
Eventually, one coworker thought instilling the fear of god would make for a good theft-deterrent…which [...]

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Our submitter from Honolulu lives with two roommates…in a house that belongs to one of those roommate’s parents. (Mayday! Mayday!)
One day, apparently, mother dearest decided to come over for an unannounced visit. Surprise!

(click to enlarge)
related: I can has guilt trip?

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Sydney spotted this bizarrely self-satisfied bit of scripture in a friend’s downtown Berkeley apartment building.
Says Sydney: “I personally think the Bible verse adds a nice touch of guilt, but it’s the emoticon smileys that really put the whole thing over the top for me.”

(Also…what exactly has the note-writer been doing while holding those keys ransom [...]

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Joanna from San Diego spotted this beauty in the public kitchen at her grandparents’ retirement home in Chattanooga, Tennessee.  Writes Joanna: “I love it because it combines passive-aggressiveness with religious sanctimony. Delicious!”

related: no, He uses vaseline

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anthony in salt lake city, utah was a little perplexed when the new lady sharing his cubicle put this little number up. odder still, he says, “is the fact that this particular wall was originally my half — she took everything i had on that end and moved it to the other side.”
says anthony: “apparently [...]

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“the screen door to our block of flats is broken,” says our anonymous submitter in australia, “which has provoked some rather unique responses from my fellow residents.”

related: but who’s counting?

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jasy from laurel, maryland spotted this beauty while driving down the jersey turnpike.
“i’m dying to know just how blasphemous denise is to deserve the sign,” jasy says, “but is it really that surprising that the antichrist would claim jersey as home base?”

related: no, He uses vaseline
extra credit: “hey, look our toll plaza over” [nytimes.com]

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1. prey on their insecurities.

2. get jesus involved.

3. oh, screw it.

related: roommate fumes; unilever marketing execs rejoice

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i really thought it couldn’t get more egregious than this clip-art catastrophe from a church in boston (left), which made this one (right) look downright tasteful in comparison.

but then, at a friend’s recent wedding, carey in northern virginia spotted this note — complete with that same punchy little yellow smiley — on several [...]

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Myra spotted this note at the fine dining establishment known as Tudor’s Biscuit World in Roanoke, Virginia. (For the record, she says, don’t believe the hype — the biscuits aren’t all that great. But if you’re looking for a place to bear witness…)

related: There you go, bringing Him into it again

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based on the online/canine aging scale (one dog year = one youtube day) this video is pretty much on its last legs, but we love it just the same. consider this post a mercy shot of euthanasia. (and thanks to maximilian, jen, chris, willa, nattie, cat and dave for passing along!)

related: oh, shit!

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Which clip art extravaganza is the most gratuitous? You be the judge!
Is it this sign, from the Virginia office of — of course — a major mobile carrier?

Is it this little tea party of a sign from Cambridge, Mass.?

Or is it this one, from, yes, a church restroom?

related: cubicle etiquette

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Summer from Decatur, Georgia says she found this note “left on a car piously parked while attempting to attend mass on vacation” in Galveston, Texas.

Stealing Hot Pockets is apparently not the only thing that Jesus wouldn’t do.

related: There you go, bringing Him into it again

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Thanks to Sarah at Greenville College (a Christian school in Illinois) and  James in Beaumont, Texas.

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