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Entries Tagged as 'going postal'

This little junk mail punk

June 20th, 2015 · 53 Comments

My first thought after reading this note: “Hmm, I’m not sure what being a “wannabe hipster” has to do with not picking up your mail.”

Then I read our submitter’s (unapologetic) explanation: “My neighbor left this taped to the mailbox in the lobby due to my tendency to leave coupons that are mailed to me on a small table under our mailboxes.”  The connection: Both can be really fucking obnoxious!

Dear hipster wannabe in apt 5, The lobby is not your personal trash can. Be responsible and throw your junk mail away...in your own trash can. Do you realize that someone has to clean up after you, each and every time you decide to be lazy? Be a responsible adult and clean up after yourself. If you'd like to talk about this more, I'm in apt 3, and I'd love to have a 'sit down' with you. Please stop being inconsiderate and pick up ALL your mail. Thank you. Zach, Apt. 3

related: This is why people hate millennials.

Tags: actually totally reasonable · going postal · grow up · Illinois · neighbors

Who’s going postal now?

January 18th, 2015 · 58 Comments

Emily in Pennsylvania recently received this New Year’s Card — only a few weeks late, and oh-so-charmingly decorated by the person who mistakenly received it in the first time.

Please deliver to CORRECT ADDRESS. You stupid mail people are constantly delivering various letters to WRONG ADDRESSES.  LEARN TO READ CORRECTLY.

“So seldom that a letter, among the thousands that are constantly passing about the kingdom, and not one in a million, I suppose, actually lost!”

—Jane Austen, Emma

related: This is why your postal worker is disgruntled.

extra credit: In defense of the post office [usnews.com]

Tags: going postal · high on highlighter · holiday spirit · way harsh

You’ve (still) got mail!

March 6th, 2013 · 55 Comments

We’ve received another report from our Back Bay informant, and it seems the stalemate with the tenant in 2D continues!

2d: The extreme pressure on the glue on the postal envelopes & fliers in your densely packed mailbox has reached .017421 isobars, which, in a few days, if not relieved by EMPTYING the box, will result in a horrible BRACKRAKATOA explosion here in the Bay, enough so that even the legions of beggars on Boylston  & Dartmouth streets will have to evacuate, so please empty the box. Thank you. Sincerely, Stephen Hawing. United States Postal Scientist, USPS. P.S. and If you could empty the box every month or so it would be appreciated.

related: You’ve got mail!

Tags: Boston · going postal · public shaming · smartass

You’ve got mail!

February 28th, 2013 · 63 Comments

Writes our submitter in Boston: “Our mailman always finds the most creative and effective ways to convey his thoughts to those who neglect their mail.”

Congratulations 2d — You must be proud of the fact that you have accumulated the most mail ever in Back Bay history for someone who has not left the country, enough in fact that it now completely fills a 2nd unused mailbox here. Celebrate!! Be proud! Revel in the glory

related: Apartment D is NOT vacant!

Tags: Boston · going postal · public shaming

The passive-aggressive mailbox prankster

December 15th, 2010 · 43 Comments

Stuffing your neighbor’s mailbox with a bag of dog poo/a dead rodent/a hundred boxes of orange tic-tacs? So amateur. If you really want to drive someone crazy, try repeatedly scratching out her name and writing “VACANT” over it instead. Apparently, it works like a charm.

Dear whoever keeps finding it necessary to inform the mail carrier my apartment is vacant, It is not. I do live here and have a need to receive my mail. Please mind your own business and stop fucking around in other people's mail boxes.  Sincerely, Apt. D

related: Stop ordering McDonald’s and then not answering your door!

Tags: going postal · i before e · irregular capitalization · neighbors · New Orleans

Did somebody say “snail mail”?

December 1st, 2010 · 107 Comments

Before her husband left on his first military deployment, Sarah in San Diego sent out an e-mail to the whole family with info about how everyone can stay in touch while he’s away. To avoid any potential in-law drama, she even had her husband read and sign off on the e-mail before sending. What neither Sarah nor her husband took into account? The Uncle Paul factor.

Her husband’s Uncle Paul, Sarah explains, is a mailman/postman/letter carrier — whatever the correct term is. (Based on Uncle Paul’s reply, she says, “I’m clearly not up enough on the intricate etiquette of the U.S. Postal Service to know.”)

Sarah oh Sarah, Greetings and Happy Post Thanksgiving. Congrats.........you have officially made

related: This is why your postal worker is disgruntled

Tags: e-mail · exclamation-point happy!!!! · family · going postal · holiday spirit · Oops?

And you wonder why your mail carrier is grumpy

October 18th, 2010 · 60 Comments

If you’re one of the poor sods charged with delivering catalogs and promotional flyers across Australia, it seems like the job is really a lose-lose.

You’re either lazy, as witnessed by Stacey in Brisbane…

You are being paid to deliver the junk mail. Don't be lazy. PUT IT IN THE LETTER BOX.

or, as noted by Briyah in Sydney, you’re an illiterate prick.

LEARN TO READ YOU PRICKS. NO. JUNK MAIL. NO JUNK MAIL DICKS

related: This!! Is how!! You know!! We mean it!!!

Tags: Australia · going postal

Exes and Ohs

July 29th, 2010 · 111 Comments

It all started when Erin in Toronto sent her uncle a Christmas card. Actually, scratch that — it all started three years ago, at Erin’s wedding, the last time Erin actually saw her uncle in person.

Before the wedding, Erin explains, “Linda (my uncle’s girlfriend) RSVP’d that she’d attend, and then then didn’t bother to show up, meaning we had to pay for her meal anyway.” (Not that she’s bitter about that or anything!) “Since then,” Erin says, “I assumed they had broken up and have addressed the annual Christmas card to just my uncle and cousin.”

Now, while that might sound a bit hasty (or even, dare I say…passive-aggressive),  in Erin’s defense, the Christmas cards she received were only signed by her uncle and cousin — this year’s included. And yet, in what appears to be a last-minute back-of-the-envelope calculation, “Linda chose this year to remind me that she was still kicking around,” Erin says.

Hi Erin! In case you weren't aware I live here as well (13 years). Thanks! Linda

On the flip side of things, receiving mail addressed to one’s ex can be a disturbing experience as well. I’d say this intercepted message speaks for itself.

Nancy cheated on her husband while he was deployed to Iraq and no longer lives at this address. Return to sender.

related: There are NO pre-paid legal executives (OR FEMALES!) living here!

Tags: Christmas · ex drama · family · going postal · Oops? · Texas · Toronto · weddings and bridezillas

There are crazy people out there, you know

March 26th, 2010 · 177 Comments

“We custom-ordered some stamps with our youngest daughter’s face on it to mail birthday party invitations,” writes Pablo in Virginia. “There were extras, so we used them to pay some bills.” Apparently, one of those envelope recipients found this small act of thrift somewhat less than adorable.

Dear Tenant, This postage stamp is an outrage! If this is in fact your daughter or if you have any relation to this child, Alexis...do you realize you're exploiting her to the public? You stuck a picture of a child on an envelope with your return address...Anyone could get a hold of this and do god knows what...there are crazy people out there you know! You should think twice before flaunting your child to the world. Have a lovely day, God bless.

Adds Pablo: “The creepy part? This note was deposited in our mailbox anonymously, making us think the real crazy person is the author.”

related: Cloudy with a chance of hate mail

Tags: crazypants · going postal · kids · kinda creepy · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2010 · pleasantries as afterthought · Virginia

This!! Is how!! You know!! We mean it!!!

March 31st, 2009 · 128 Comments

Writes Desiree: “This is a note at the express (stamps-only counter) at a very busy post office in Washington, D.C.. They are apparently!! very!! uptight!! like everyone else in D.C. (myself included)!!”

STOP!! NO ADDRESSING!! NO PACKAGING!! OF ITEMS AT THIS COUNTER IS ALLOWED AT ANY TIME. THANK YOU, THE MANAGEMENT

Meanwhile!! in Florida…

DO [sic] TO EXTENSIVE FOOD THEFT!!! THIS ROOM IS NOW UNDER VIDEO SURVEILLANCE!!

And! in Los Angeles!

SAY!!! HI! HOW ARE YOU!! WITH SMILE SMILE! SMILE! SMILE!

related: This is why your postal worker is disgruntled

Tags: CAPS LOCK · clip art catastrophe · exclamation-point happy!!!! · going postal · spelling and grammar police · You call that punctuation?