Entries Tagged as 'grow up'

Read the writing on the wall

December 1st, 2012 · 29 Comments

Jesse in Iowa says that the unisex bathroom at a local bar/coffee shop has long played host to a running debate about the need to raise or lower the toilet seat. Recently, another Sharpie-wielding sheriff stepped in with this contribution. My question: Was the writer a child, or a truck driver?

Only children and truckdrivers write on the walls. If you value this place please stop.

Meanwhile, Tom spotted this offensive leap of logic at a bar in Waco, Texas.

Writing Graffitty [sic] on the Men's Room wall is a rather stupid act. — All you're saying is I'm truly a hopeless perverted homo!

Of course, as Heather in Kentucky noticed, women can be just as offensive and illogical when it comes to their bathroom-stall musings.

Little girls who write on bathroom walls are common whores. Any whore who ?'s a guy in a bathroom is gross Fish Twat Sluts. So is whoever wrote this ? Grow up.

For the really crude stuff, though, you’ve got to turn to a Canadian.

related: An artistic phallacy

extra credit: Public Toilet Survival Kit

Tags: bar · bathroom · graffiti · grow up

Beware of argumentative farm animals!

June 19th, 2011 · 63 Comments

This indignant note nearly made Mike [sic] with laughter when he saw it posted in the lobby of his apartment building in Surrey, B.C.

(Oh, those Canadians — so hilarious! Even when they’re not trying to be!)

Attention Neighbours!!!!!!! There is a discussing [sic] PIG among us. Someone is leaving bags and bags of garbage in our hallway and stairwell. This has been recurring in the last few weeks and must be stopped! These bags were large garbage bags that were fully, smelly, and already had flies coming from them. Whoever you are, I am watching out for you! And now, so too will your neighbours! You should be ashamed of yourself! If you are this dirty, I am sure your apartment is also a reflection of that. I THINK I SPEAK FOR EVERYONE WHO LIVES IN THIS BUILDING, THAT WE DON'T WANT FLIES, COCROCHES [sic] OR ANY BUGS ASSOCIATED WITH IMPROPER HYGENE [sic]! Or people like you! GROW UP! Signed, A responsible member of society!!!!!!

related: A note from Dirty Lady #2

Tags: bold-underlined-caps · exclamation-point happy!!!! · garbage · grow up · hygiene · neighbors · odor · public shaming · spelling and grammar police

Stop “blocking your blessing”

February 3rd, 2011 · 76 Comments

Jo spotted this testimony in a restroom at the University of the Sciences in Philadelphia.

I guessing this particular portion of the Gospel of (the) John was lost in translation from the Greek or some such — a shame, cause “God doesn’t like ugly” would make a great protest sign.

To the Person Who Keeps Leaving Their Mess in the Toilet. I'M SO GLAD I WASN'T RAISED LIKE YOU....I KNOW YOU ARE PURPOSELY LEAVING YOUR MESS IN THE TOILET BECAUSE YOU DO IT EVERY DAY.... STOP BLOCKING YOUR BLESSING BY BEING MEAN SPIRITED GROW UP!!!!!. AND FLUSH THE TOILET. THAT'S JUST NASTY!!!!!!!!!!! [that is so true (shame on you)] GOD DOESN'T LIKE

related: What would Jesus do for a Klondike bar?

Tags: CAPS LOCK · college life · ellipses-crazed · exclamation-point happy!!!! · God · grow up · Philadelphia · toilet · You call that punctuation?

It’s my pity party, and I’ll whine if I want to

July 25th, 2010 · 62 Comments

If I had to choose the one thing I hate most about Facebook, I think it would have to be how it’s normalized the narcissistic idea that the day you were born (and increasingly the entire week/month leading up to it) is somehow an annual event of earth-shattering importance…and (part two), how it has turned into a venue for people who share that idea to host their own pity parties, like so:

wow. Thanks to all the family members that didn't wish me a happy birthday. That's nice. I'll remember that next year when it's your birthdays.

Of course, some of those people prefer the prematurely pissy approach — this message, for example, was apparently posted at 10:50 the day before her birthday:

[redacted] is wondering who would show up to my funeral because obviously my wedding and birthday aren't important enough. Thanks to those who do care though.

But on Facebook, the “proactively setting the bar low” approach (as opposed to proactively setting the bar high) might yield better results…that is, if your friends still pity you enough to put with your juvenile bullshit.

Because you can't be there, or because you don't care to be, when [redacted] turns another year older. Because it's easier than spending time with her, and you feel less guilty than RSVPing

related: “I received 25 bday wishes out of 473 Facebook friends.”

Tags: birthday · cry me a freaking river · Facebook · grow up · guilt trip · martyr complex

We live in a nice community with nice neighbors (before you started posting notes)

June 16th, 2010 · 135 Comments

Chris found this not-so-nice note in the laundry room of his nice townhouse complex. What’s interesting here is how the author seems to undermine his or her own logic. (As Chris put it, “I know it’s really pathetic to steal a dryer sheet and a quarter, but really, is it that big of a deal?”)

If it’s not about the 25 cents, but rather, the principle of the thing, well…which is worse? To take a quarter from an empty laundry room, knowing that one of your neighbors left it there? Or to post a dick-ish anonymous note for all to see…instead of, say, keeping your damn quarters in your pocket like everybody else?

To the INDIGENT who stole MY dryer sheet and MY quarter that I left on MY washer while MY clothes were washing..and yes, I know who you are... Are you THAT fuckin poor that you have to steal a quarter??  Grow the fuck up.  We live in a nice community with nice neighbors (before you moved here). I've left quarters and dryer sheets on my washer many times, and they've never been taken til now. You can tape a dollar to this note if you have any kind of a conscience...otherwise, expect some bad karma comin back at ya...

related: I know where you live, laundry thief

Tags: ellipses-crazed · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · grow up · I know who you are · karma's a bitch · laundry · message to all intended for one · money · neighbors · stealing · Tucson

The bathroom-stall booger epidemic

August 11th, 2009 · 142 Comments

Who knew? Apparently, every office has at least one person with an insatiable need to spread the contents of their nose on the wall.

From Florida:

Hey Boogermeister, This isn't a gas station in Hazzard County; this is a place of work. How about blowing your nose in a tissue like most evolved humans, instead of picking it and wiping it all over the place? Your cooperation is much appreciated.

From Georgia:

The Wall — Good For: Holding up the Ceiling. Not Good For: Wiping your boogers

From a hospital (!) in Washington, D.C.

Is this your booger collection? If so please consider taking it down and back home with you (or are you walls simply too full of your snot by now?). It is clear that you have some personal hygiene self-respect issues that you need to resolve. Please seek appropriate counseling and follow up.

[Read more →]

Tags: bathroom · grow up · hygiene · most popular notes of 2009 · nose-picking · office · that's disgusting

A “discussion” on shoes

October 2nd, 2008 · 108 Comments

My favorite part of this two-page glory? The flash of insight on page 2: “I realize that last sentence is phrased as a question, but really it is more of a statement.”

(flip over for a discussion on shoes)

Shoes...let's get some shoes.

related: care, it makes a difference

Tags: CAPS LOCK · cleaning · confusion??? · exclamation-point happy!!!! · grow up · high on highlighter · martyr complex · roommates · shoes · spelling and grammar police

Where’s Anytime Stan when you need him?

August 13th, 2008 · 209 Comments

Sarah in Somerville, Mass. wasn’t fazed when she left her apartment one Saturday to find this otherwise “run-of-the-mill your-mother-doesn’t-live-here note”…until she rounded the corner and was greeted by photocopies of the same note taped to every available surface in the hallway.

Hey PIG! Clean up the mess you made in the elevator! Your mommy isn't going to clean it! This isn't a dorm! Be an Adult! Thanks

Then, the next day, another note appeared near the elevator…

was NOT us, but cleaned it up b/c we're SICK of being harrassed [sic] in our home!! call management if you have an issue next time, GROW UP!

…which had apparently been written on the back of yet another (more targeted) note:

The trail leads from the elevator to this corner. Clean your mess in the elevator + front hallway! Grow up + take Responsibility!

“In fairness,” Sarah says, “this whole thing really is gross, and now the lobby and the hallway — in addition to the elevator — smell of vomit. I’m just not sure why the first notewriter thought that spending $10 on copies was going to help.”

And lastly, Sarah adds:  “My mommy didn’t clean up my dorm, either.”

related: Going up?

Tags: elevator · grow up · pleasantries as afterthought · Somerville · vomit · Your mother doesn't...

Cue the violins

July 25th, 2008 · 209 Comments

When Sheena in Austin spotted this note on her neighbor’s front door, she couldn’t help but wonder: “If your doormat has sentimental value, maybe it should be hanging on your wall instead of sitting on the ground?”

To whoever stole my doormat: PLEASE bring it back! It was a gift & has sentimental value! Be a grown up! Thanks, Alex

related: Wrath mat

extra credit: Sentimental value: clothing stories from eBay

Tags: Austin · eBay · excessive underlining · grow up · neighbors · stealing

Maybe you should switch to body wash?

March 31st, 2008 · 89 Comments

At least that would make the roommate situation a little less hairy

STOP USING MY BAR OF SOAP IN THE SHOWER!

related: Losing Lisa

Tags: grow up · hair · hygiene · roommates · San Diego · shower · that's disgusting