Yes, Lorraine, admits, she works long hours at her job. And no, her mother hasn’t been over to her house in a while…but neither has anybody else. Nice of her Mum to refrain from DRAMA[!!!] about it though, right? (Krystle Gale, I’m guessing you can relate.)

related: So, Mom, what you’re telling me is to cover up with a latex catsuit?

At first glance, I thought this was one of those ads in the back of a high school yearbook, but no — Katie in Galveston, Texas actually spotted this in the  pages of the local newspaper.

related: My parents, the loan sharks

Happy Valentine’s Day to my son…and the harlot with whom he’s living in sin

extra credit: “Woman Has Bizarre Ability To Share Details About Personal Life With Parents” [theonion.com]

If the consequences of eating a Hot Pocket aren’t enough to deter you from buying them, you should know that storing them in your freezer at work or school is still a risky proposition. (And no, Snoop won’t be there to back you up.)

Exhibit a) Spotted by Anna in Oakland, California:

Exhibit b) Spotted by Diana in Green Bay, Wisconsin:

Exhibit c) Spotted by David in Austin, Texas:

Exhibit d) Spotted by Charlie in New York:

Exhibit e) Spotted by Angie in Atlanta, with apologies for the blurriness:

(Delicious, you say? Michelle? Is that you?) And lastly…

Exhibit f) From Princeton, New Jersey:

related: Hot Pockets are the car radios of the communal freezer

While checking over her 7-year-old daughter’s homework sheet, LeAnn in Iowa found out that last Tuesday was apparently a lesson in buuuuurns.

related post:

My mother’s favorite food 

Recognizing its greatness, Kori in San Diego says her neighbor had this letter framed; it’s now held a place of honor in the garage for more than a decade.

(Just click the photo to enlarge.)

related: Some advice on holding a Garage Sale

Visiting her friend’s apartment for the first time, Kristin in New York City couldn’t help but notice that the entryway was completely covered with ALL CAPS notes from the building’s landlord. Among her favorites was this meta-monstrosity.

Says Kristin: “I love how his tone is over-the-top aggressive, but his actual threat isn’t that scary, given that, as far as I could tell, he’s the only one putting up signs.”

Another of Kristin’s favorites was this one, about water usage. “I’m not sure how overuse of water in New York impacts people in Haiti, but OK!”

related: Love, the Landlord

Here’s how Connie explains the situation: “I’m selling my house and moving to a new town. I’ve had an outdoor cat for almost five years, and she doesn’t do well indoors. Since it looks like I’ll end up in an apartment for the first year, I’m trying to find a new home for her. I made the mistake of asking a coworker who is passionate about his pets — seriously, he loves them more than people — and I thought he was just having a little fun with me when he bashed me for ‘throwing her away.’ I laughed and just told him to ask around and let me know.”

Here’s how Connie’s coworker chose to do that:

related: Sorry, my friends don’t eat cat.

extra credit: The saga of the passive-aggressive “lost cat” poster 

…because if there’s one thing you can do to help the starving children of Africa, it’s to eat a cupcake. (Sigh.)

That said, nobody wants the damn thing after you’ve taken a bite out of it. Don’t try to assuage your guilt/food issues by telling yourself that someone else will eat it.

related: The Nibbler — the plague of office breakrooms everywhere

extra credit: Charity Navigator’s top-rated charities providing aid to victims of famine and drought in Africa

Writes Virginia in Sumner, Washington: “Going through a box of old photographs in the attic, I found this birthday card I gave my father when I was five or six. I was a terrible child.”

related: Some daughterly wisdom for Dad