Entries Tagged as 'guilt trip'

Oh Grandpa, you tell the funniest bedtime stories!

April 12th, 2011 · 65 Comments

Hannah spotted this gem above the sink of dirty dishes in her San Francisco office.

Someday when you're wondering why you're alone and society has all but crumbled around you, you'll think back to the dishes you left in the sink and you'll say

related: May the sanctity of the sink prevail!!

Tags: dishes · guilt trip · kids today · most popular notes of 2011 · San Francisco · TL;DR

Feel free to express yourselves, breastfeeding working moms! (But maybe not quite so passive-aggressively?)

April 7th, 2011 · 205 Comments

First off: I’m 100% in favor of breastfeeding. A designated pumping room at the office? Awesome! (And in fact, federally mandated.) Pictures of cute babies? Love those, too!

But you know — and let’s just play devil’s advocate here for a moment —  I’m guessing some of the non-lactating folks you work with would be a bit more receptive to your message if you saved the guilt-tripping for your kiddos back home. Because, as the sign reads now, says one of your coworkers: “All it does is make me want to use THAT room for every phone call.”

Does this baby deserve dinner? This room is reserved for nursing moms. Please choose another room for phone calls. Need help finding another room? Ask at Reception.

related: Feel free to starve me, but not my baby!!!

Tags: guilt trip · New York · office · Won't somebody think of the children?

The Orchid (and Daffodil and Begonia) Thief

March 29th, 2011 · 58 Comments

Maya in the U.K. spotted this magnanimous display on a garden wall on her way home, in a neighborhood “that must be simply full of hundreds of passive-aggressive middle class Brits.” Says Maya: ”I was tempted to steal the daffodils myself, but refrained.”

These daffodils are for the thief, living at the bottom of the road, who obviously loves daffodils but is too poor to buy his own - even at 2 bunches for a £1. For 2 successive weekends he has stolen some from this front garden. These he can take as a gift. Enjoy.

Meanwhile, Greg’s neighbor in Washington, D.C. decided to go with even an more straight-ahead guilt-trippy approach.

To the person responsible for stealing the begonia: Please return it; no question asked. This plant is a clipping given to me by my great aunt. She is now dead. I would we happy to root a clipping for you if you indeed wish to have such a specimen. Thank you.

Lastly, Fern spotted this scarily upbeat FYI while vacationing in Key West, Florida. (Adds Fern: “We think the flower just died.”)

Hey Orchid Thief: Hope you like your flower! Just wanted to let you know stealing is bad karma! Enjoy : )

related:  Three cities where nature-lovers might want to keep their hands to themselves

P.S. Before settling for a ho-hum Susan Orleans reference, I must admit that when writing this post, I tried — and failed — to come up with an worthy Wordworths-riffing title. In light of my lack of inspiration, I was especially delighted by this bit of brilliance from shwo! in the comments section:

I wandered slyly as a thief
Who flows on low o’er gutter spills,
When all at once I saw a leaf,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the porch, beneath the trees,
I think I will be stealing these.

Tags: D.C. · Florida · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · guilt trip · karma's a bitch · smiley · stealing · U.K.

This thing is mine!

February 24th, 2011 · 72 Comments

Mara’s office kitchen in New York City is shared by over 50 people, but they don’t play by kindergarten rules. (Yoohoo, Elaine? You might have a kindred spirit up in here.)

Pitcher: This is my pitcher, Not your Pitcher. Do not take what is not yours. Your mother would be very disappointed in you. Box: THIS THING IS MINE! IT'S NOT YOURS! I PUT IT HERE TO MAKE SURE THE SPACE IN THE KITCHEN WASN'T LEFT OPEN FOR EVERYBODY AS IT'S INTENDED. I DESERVE THIS SPACE MORE THAN YOU, SO HANDS OFF MY RANDOM THING!

related: Everything else in the refrigerator belongs to everybody else.

Tags: guilt trip · kitchen · most popular notes of 2011 · office · sharing is caring · smartass

Happy Valentine’s Day to my son…and the harlot with whom he’s living in sin.

February 14th, 2011 · 103 Comments

Tonya says she and her boyfriend in Charlottesville, Virginia had been living together for two years when they received this Valentine from his mother, “with the not-so-subtle implication that we should take our relationship to the next level.” Adds Tonya: “Oh, and on the inside of the card, she spelled my name wrong.”

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!

Happy Valentine's Day to a Great Son and <del>Wife</del> Partner.

related: The next-to-marry list

Tags: Charlottesville · guilt trip · holiday spirit · love & marriage · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2011 · Valentine's Day

May your New Year be very prosperous…so you can tip me better next time.

January 3rd, 2011 · 63 Comments

Shawn in Pennsylvania found this oh-so-subtly guilt-trippy thank you note tucked inside his Sunday paper. (“Apparently our paper delivery person is hoping for bigger and better tips in 2011,” he says.)

Happy New Year I would like to say to all that gave or didn't give a thoughtful gift. Thank You doing [sic] these economic times, believe me last year was a very tough year for me, you all made the end of my year lot better [sic]. Once again thank you all and may your New Year be very prosperous and blessed.  Your carrier, [redacted]

related: If you don’t tip you’re racist

Tags: guilt trip · holiday spirit · newspaper · Pennsylvania · spelling and grammar police · tipping

Providing a “friendly holiday spirit”

December 13th, 2010 · 42 Comments

Halloween was just a prelude, really —it’s Christmas that brings the real bounty of guilt-trip opportunities, often with a bonus side helping of irony.

To wit: Jaime in Canada says his neighbor (okay, “neighbour”) went totally Clark Griswold with his Christmas decorating this year, creating a sparkling extravaganza that is, Jaime says, “quite the treat for the eyes.”

But the best part of the display might be what stands in front of Santa and his team of reindeer  — an ellipses-and-exclamation-fueled cautionary tale about the true meaning of Christmas…consumerism!!! (Take that, Tiny Tim!)

Dear Potential Rotten Kid!!!!!!!! This display was a Christmas gift from my children. I, plus my neighbours enjoy providing a friendly holiday spirit. Let your conscience be your guide! ...Imagine...Christmas Morning...You!! Mom...Dad...Hey, where's my presents? SORRY...SON!!! Somebody stole everything from our car!!

related: Who stole and vandalized a candy cane? Who stole the baby Jesus??

Tags: Canada · Christmas · ellipses-crazed · exclamation-point happy!!!! · guilt trip · holiday spirit · neighbors · stealing · Won't somebody think of the children? · you're like so going to hell

And a Happy Thanksgiving to you, too!

November 23rd, 2010 · 83 Comments

Emma says this note appeared in her dorm at the University of Chicago shortly before the Thanksgiving holiday. “Our kitchen has a sign on the fridge that says: ‘If you leave your food unlabeled, it’s fair game. Label your food.’ I assume this girl did not label her food.” (Because who would be cruel enough to steal such a traditional Thanksgiving delicacy from an old lady?)

Whoever ate my guacamole FUCK YOU. how rude can you be? that was obviously not for you. I was going to bring it to my grandmother's for thanksgiving. She was looking forward to it. I hope you enjoyed it.

Another dorm resident sent in a shot of the anonymous response added later.

Being passive-aggressive never SOLVED anything

related: Thanksgiving pride & passive-aggression

Tags: college life · food · guilt trip · irregular capitalization · rebuttals · stealing · Thanksgiving

Papa’s John

October 31st, 2010 · 82 Comments

If you needed another reason to be happy you don’t live in Utah, Justin brings us this explosion of bad ideas from a Provo office park.

I put this in the bathroom (to act as an air freshener) b/c when you crap and leave the door open the smell comes down the hall into my office. I can't work when I smell your BM. If I can't work, I can't make money to buy food for my kids. That can't be very healthy for my kids not to eat. Please shut the door after you crap so I don't have to smell it!!! Thanks!

(I’m going with “Team None-of-the-Above” for this one.)

Why did you put this in the bathroom trash? It makes me really uncomfortable to go to the bathroom when I smell food...Sometimes I can't go, & this is really unhealthy for my body!

I put this in the bathroom (to act as an air freshener) b/c when you crap and leave the door open the smell comes down the hall into my office. I can't work when I smell your BM. If I can't work, I can't make money to buy food for my kids. That can't be very healthy for my kids not to eat. Please shut the door after you crap so I don't have to smell it!!! Thanks!

related: The bathroom walls are NOT soundproof.

extra credit: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Pizza Air Freshener

Tags: bathroom · guilt trip · odor · pizza · Provo · questionable logic · rebuttals · shit · that's disgusting · that's unhealthy · toilet · Utah · WTF?

Another 4-year-old gets wise to the cruel, cruel world we live in.

October 28th, 2010 · 128 Comments

With Halloween upon us, it’s not just uprooted flowers that are breaking the hearts of 4-year-olds around the world. Now entire families (of pumpkins) are being destroyed!

PLEASE DO NOT steal our pumpkins! Our four year old daughter was heart broken about seeing HER pumpkin busted in the street. We DID have a momma pumpkin, a daddy pumpkin and a baby pumpkin, we were planning on carving them as a FAMILY this weekend. You took our JOY when you STOLE our pumpkin.

Once again, this compulsive over-sharing seems to be a uniquely American phenomenon. As Archie in Brighton witnessed, the Brits manage to get straight to the bloody point.

Who ever stole our kids pumpkin we hope it chokes you. Sarah, Kevin and the children cared and watered the pumpkin patch for weeks.

related: People suck. (A valuable lesson for any four-year-old)

Tags: guilt trip · Halloween · kids · stealing · TL;DR · Won't somebody think of the children?