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Entries Tagged as 'gym'

Also, kindly refrain from rinsing your laundry in the hot tub

December 9th, 2013 · 69 Comments

Writes Natalie in Cardiff: “I noticed this a little while ago in the changing rooms of my local leisure centre. I thought it fit in nicely with the public/private restroom notes these last couple of days. Perhaps people in South Wales are a little mixed-up too!”

Customer Notice: Female Dryside Changing Area - Customers are reminded that the practice of hair dying [sic] and shaving within the changing area is strictly prohibited. Please use in accordance with its intended purpose. Thank you in anticipation of your cooperation

related: Hair-raising indignation

extra credit: Weird Wales []

Tags: gym · hygiene · Wales

Do you hear the people sing?

February 18th, 2013 · 53 Comments

Cynthia in San Francisco says she was about to check the class schedule at her gym when she saw that their website was no longer operational. “There is so much YES going on here,” she says, of the screenshots she was able to grab. “I barely make it to the gym anyway and this is a great excuse to quit altogether. I’m more of a yoga person anyhow!”

Fitness SF preferred to ignore our invoices instead of paying them. As a result this website is no longer operational.

Fitness SF preferred to ignore our invoices instead of paying them. As a result this website is no longer operational.

related: The Mad Bomber

extra credit: Burger King Twitter Hacked, Turned into McDonalds []

Tags: gym · money · posted online · San Francisco

Women: Have your pole dancing classes empowered you too much?

January 31st, 2011 · 50 Comments

I really hope to have the opportunity to work the coinage “pole vulture” into conversation this week.

Apparently, they’re a serious problem at Jessica’s pole dancing studio of choice in Sydney, Australia.

DON'T BE A POLE VULTURE: Please let the other class finish up (completely!) before choosing a pole! And if you happen to get a non spinny pole, thank the Lord that you are getting more of a workout!!!!! And will be better prepared for the real world, where poles NEVER have ball bearings!

related: Yo, sweaty beasts!

Tags: etiquette · exclamation-point happy!!!! · gym · most popular notes of 2011

For Sale, Cemetery Plot, Never Used

August 13th, 2010 · 47 Comments

Who knew? If you’re in the market for cemetery plots at bargain-basement prices, apparently the go-to place is…the women’s locker room at the gym. At least that’s where our submitter in East Lansing, Michigan spotted this notice (which was clearly not penned by Hemingway).

Happy “WTF?” Friday, everyone!

SAVE $1550 For Sale: One Cemetery Plot (our mother requested cremation, so we aren't using this, now) Deepdale Cemetery (Chapel Garden) If purchased today @ Deepdale, this will cost you $2195 WE WILL SELL FOR ONLY $500 (PLUS DEED TRANSFER FEE) Please Contact [redacted]

related: Please, No Breast Cancer trash!

Tags: gym · Michigan · Moms & Dads · not so much passive-aggressive · WTF?

I’m sorry if this is rude, but…your mere presence offends my delicate sensibilities.

August 10th, 2010 · 85 Comments

Our submitter in Orange County, California came across this note on a table at the local public library while studying for the Bar Exam. “I figured the added noises would simulate the noises during the actual test,” our submitter says. “Apparently the noise isn’t the only thing that bugs some of the other patrons.” (What’s really bugging me about this note: WHAT IS UNDER THAT WHITE-OUT STRIP ON THE FIRST LINE?)

I'm sorry if this is rude. But...You smell. And you've been scratching your body constantly. Please go take a shower when you get home. I'm studying for an important exam and your lack of hygiene is affecting my concentration.

Meanwhile, Daryl in Vancouver, B.C. spotted this pinned to the bulletin board at his gym. I don’t know if this means I’m going soft, but the thought of creepy bicycle-shorts guy walking up to the bulletin board and reading this while all of the other little kick-boxing vixens look on actually makes me feel sorry for the guy.  The note’s amusing, I guess, but it also seems a little…below-the-belt, no?

Bicycle shorts are an incredible invention. For the avid cyclist, the form-fitting design allows for freedom of movement temperature control and comfort. But when worn to a boxing class, especially in conjunction with a baby blue tank top, they can pose several dangers both to the wearer and those around him. Beyond the obvious aesthetic perils bicycle shorts can create by highlighting abnormally small genitalia, these types of shorts, when worn with a sky blue wife beater, create unease and discomfort among female classmates. This is mostly due to the fact that in 1928 the official uniform of sexual predators was declared to be black bicycle shorts paired with a powder blue tank top. Thankfully, in 1929, boxing shorts were invented, thereby eliminating any chance of someone showing up to a boxing class dressed as a convicted rapist.

related: You seem like really nice people, but…

Tags: a little insensitive · attire · gym · library · mean girls · noise · odor

Know sweat

July 7th, 2009 · 92 Comments

Writes Jaime in Austin: “My husband and I lift weights at Gold’s Gym and we love it (no, really!) — except for their new signage reminding people to mop up their sweat.”

Know you can wipe off the machine when you're done. (No, really you can.)

Meanwhile, next door…

(Well, sort of.) Kathryn spotted this similarly understated/backhanded message in an upscale Orlando, Florida boutique.

NOTICE WELCOME  Dear ladies,  Please, ladies if you just worked out next door and not showered we ask for your consideration, please do not try any clothing.   Thank you, Management

related: Like a rotten sponge

Tags: Austin · gym · hygiene · Orlando · retail hell

All I want for Christmas

December 16th, 2008 · 61 Comments

Writes Monica in Salt Lake City, Utah: “The hip abduction machine has been broken at my local gym for almost the entire year. The powers that be claim it will be fixed soon, Monica says, but it looks like one fellow gym-goer decided to take up the issue with an even higher power.

Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is this machine FIXED

Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is this machine FIXED

related: evidently, yes

Tags: Christmas · gym · holiday spirit · Salt Lake City · Utah

There is a poor speller among us

June 30th, 2008 · 99 Comments

Writes our anonymous submitter from Kentucky: “I work at a gym. I was checking the women’s locker room to make sure it wasn’t a fetid stinkpit (it wasn’t) when I saw three of these lying on the counter. I went to throw them out and found a whole mess of them in the trash can, too.”

there is a poor speller among us

related: like a rotten sponge

Tags: CAPS LOCK · gym · Kentucky · rebuttals · spelling and grammar police · stealing · warning

If you needed an excuse to skip the gym today…

March 28th, 2008 · 99 Comments

Well, our anonymous contributor in Pompano Beach, Florida has one for you.

He explains: “I keep a gym membership so that I can feel good about my financial commitment to my health — not so much for the actual health benefits per se. I hadn’t been to the gym in at least two months when I came across this note posted by the showers. (My shower at home was being worked on.) I’m glad I make it a habit to wear sandals in the shower during my quarterly visits.”

ATTENTION   Please refrain from defecating in the shower areas. It is unsanitary and hazardous to the health and well being of our members and staff. Thank you!

related: The Mad Bomber

Tags: actually totally reasonable · Florida · gym · shit · shower · that's disgusting · that's unsanitary

Like a rotten sponge

August 5th, 2007 · 22 Comments

By popular demand, Ellen in Acton, Mass. has sent in a photo of the note that appeared next to the one about spitting in the water fountain on her gym’s suggestion board…

Please stop using the towels to clean stations. I got on a treadmill and the towel smelled like a rotten sponge. Having them used again and again all day must be unhealthy. How about disinfectant wipes or just paper towels. THANK YOU!

The original “no spitting” note has since been taken down, Ellen says. “In its place was one saying that people should stop focusing on the negative since the gym and the staff were really quite good.”

Since then, she adds, “O have not noticed any lugies in the drinking fountain. Progress?”

Tags: excessive underlining · gym · Massachusetts · odor