Entries Tagged as 'gym'

Know sweat

July 7th, 2009 · 92 Comments

Writes Jaime in Austin: “My husband and I lift weights at Gold’s Gym and we love it (no, really!) — except for their new signage reminding people to mop up their sweat.”

Know you can wipe off the machine when you're done. (No, really you can.)

Meanwhile, next door…

(Well, sort of.) Kathryn spotted this similarly understated/backhanded message in an upscale Orlando, Florida boutique.

NOTICE WELCOME  Dear ladies,  Please, ladies if you just worked out next door and not showered we ask for your consideration, please do not try any clothing.   Thank you, Management

related: Like a rotten sponge

Tags: Austin · gym · hygiene · Orlando · retail hell

All I want for Christmas

December 16th, 2008 · 61 Comments

Writes Monica in Salt Lake City, Utah: “The hip abduction machine has been broken at my local gym for almost the entire year. The powers that be claim it will be fixed soon, Monica says, but it looks like one fellow gym-goer decided to take up the issue with an even higher power.

Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is this machine FIXED

Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is this machine FIXED

related: evidently, yes

Tags: Christmas · gym · holiday spirit · Salt Lake City · Utah

There is a poor speller among us

June 30th, 2008 · 99 Comments

Writes our anonymous submitter from Kentucky: “I work at a gym. I was checking the women’s locker room to make sure it wasn’t a fetid stinkpit (it wasn’t) when I saw three of these lying on the counter. I went to throw them out and found a whole mess of them in the trash can, too.”

there is a poor speller among us

related: like a rotten sponge

Tags: CAPS LOCK · gym · Kentucky · rebuttals · spelling and grammar police · stealing · warning

If you needed an excuse to skip the gym today…

March 28th, 2008 · 99 Comments

Well, our anonymous contributor in Pompano Beach, Florida has one for you.

He explains: “I keep a gym membership so that I can feel good about my financial commitment to my health — not so much for the actual health benefits per se. I hadn’t been to the gym in at least two months when I came across this note posted by the showers. (My shower at home was being worked on.) I’m glad I make it a habit to wear sandals in the shower during my quarterly visits.”

ATTENTION   Please refrain from defecating in the shower areas. It is unsanitary and hazardous to the health and well being of our members and staff. Thank you!

related: The Mad Bomber

Tags: actually totally reasonable · Florida · gym · shit · shower · that's disgusting · that's unsanitary

Like a rotten sponge

August 5th, 2007 · 22 Comments

By popular demand, Ellen in Acton, Mass. has sent in a photo of the note that appeared next to the one about spitting in the water fountain on her gym’s suggestion board…

Please stop using the towels to clean stations. I got on a treadmill and the towel smelled like a rotten sponge. Having them used again and again all day must be unhealthy. How about disinfectant wipes or just paper towels. THANK YOU!

The original “no spitting” note has since been taken down, Ellen says. “In its place was one saying that people should stop focusing on the negative since the gym and the staff were really quite good.”

Since then, she adds, “O have not noticed any lugies in the drinking fountain. Progress?”

Tags: excessive underlining · gym · Massachusetts · odor

Evidently, yes

August 2nd, 2007 · 43 Comments

Ellen in Acton, Mass. spotted this on the suggestion board at her gym.

Suggestions: A SIGN ASKING PEOPLE NOT TO SPIT IN THE WATER FOUNTAIN? Response from Global Fitness Center: Do we really need to tell people that spitting in the fountain is a bad idea? (YES! Evidently, if they're doing it)

At least they don’t have a Mad Bomber on the loose…yet.

Tags: group bitchfest · gym · Massachusetts · oh snap · spitting

The Mad Bomber, Act 3: We are watching you

May 25th, 2007 · 55 Comments

If you missed them, catch  up with Act 1 and Act 2 of the Mad Bomber saga. Here, the  (somewhat anti-climactic) conclusion:

Through some help of our members and some tracking we now know who has been making the messes in the women's toilets. We know who you are! We are watching you and will catch you in the act. When this happens you will be prosecuted for destruction of property, attempting to harm our business and the cost we have gone through to clean up after you. Its [sic] time to bring this to an end!!!

It appears that season one of this series concludes with a dramatic cliffhanger ending. Will the Mad Bomber be caught in the act? Will Richard G. Sells post another notice outing the bomber for public humiliation and condemnation? We can only hope.

Tags: bathroom · exclamation-point happy!!!! · gym · more aggressive than passive · not-so-veiled threats · toilet

The Mad Bomber, Act 2: Please stay seated during the entire performance

May 23rd, 2007 · 34 Comments

If you missed it, Act 1 is where this saga begins. Here, we see Richard G. Sell’s frustration grow to a fever pitch…

WE ARE TIRED OF THIS!!!!!! Let it be known by all of our female members that the staff of the Lawrence Athletic Club are tired of cleaning up after the MAD BOMBER.

And it continues with Act 3

Tags: "helpful" advice · exclamation-point happy!!!! · gym · not-so-veiled threats · shit · toilet

The Mad Bomber, Act 1: “Sorry about the language”

May 22nd, 2007 · 36 Comments

I don’t want to oversell this, but the following series of three signs (sent in by a health-club patron who wishes to remain nameless) just became my new all-time favorite. I love so many things about Richard G. Sells’s first masterpiece (below) that I don’t even know where to begin.

Twice someone has crapped all over the wall, back of the toilet, under the toilet, on the seat, under the seat, and on the floor without getting any of the crap in the toilet stool [sic] itself.

The best part, I think, might be the Freudian slip mid-way through (“…without getting any of the crap in the toilet stool itself.”)

But it doesn’t end there! Read acts 2 and 3.

Tags: "helpful" advice · bathroom · exclamation-point happy!!!! · gym · most popular notes of 2007 · not-so-veiled threats · p.s. · shit