Writes Monica in Salt Lake City, Utah: “The hip abduction machine has been broken at my local gym for almost the entire year. The powers that be claim it will be fixed soon, Monica says, but it looks like one fellow gym-goer decided to take up the issue with an even higher power.
related: evidently, yes
Tags: Christmas · gym · holiday spirit · Salt Lake City · Utah
Writes our anonymous submitter from Kentucky: “I work at a gym. I was checking the women’s locker room to make sure it wasn’t a fetid stinkpit (it wasn’t) when I saw three of these lying on the counter. I went to throw them out and found a whole mess of them in the trash can, too.”
related: like a rotten sponge
Tags: CAPS LOCK · gym · Kentucky · rebuttals · spelling and grammar police · stealing · warning
Well, our anonymous contributor in Pompano Beach, Florida has one for you.
He explains: “I keep a gym membership so that I can feel good about my financial commitment to my health — not so much for the actual health benefits per se. I hadn’t been to the gym in at least two months when I came across this note posted by the showers. (My shower at home was being worked on.) I’m glad I make it a habit to wear sandals in the shower during my quarterly visits.”
related: The Mad Bomber
Tags: actually totally reasonable · Florida · gym · shit · shower · that's disgusting · that's unsanitary
By popular demand, Ellen in Acton, Mass. has sent in a photo of the note that appeared next to the one about spitting in the water fountain on her gym’s suggestion board…
The original “no spitting” note has since been taken down, Ellen says. “In its place was one saying that people should stop focusing on the negative since the gym and the staff were really quite good.”
Since then, she adds, “O have not noticed any lugies in the drinking fountain. Progress?”
Tags: excessive underlining · gym · Massachusetts · odor
Ellen in Acton, Mass. spotted this on the suggestion board at her gym.
At least they don’t have a Mad Bomber on the loose…yet.
Tags: group bitchfest · gym · Massachusetts · oh snap · spitting
If you missed them, catch up with Act 1 and Act 2 of the Mad Bomber saga. Here, the (somewhat anti-climactic) conclusion:
![Through some help of our members and some tracking we now know who has been making the messes in the women's toilets. We know who you are! We are watching you and will catch you in the act. When this happens you will be prosecuted for destruction of property, attempting to harm our business and the cost we have gone through to clean up after you. Its [sic] time to bring this to an end!!!](https://farm1.static.flickr.com/200/510271936_cad3a657ef_o.jpg "Through some help of our members and some tracking we now know who has been making the messes in the women's toilets. We know who you are! We are watching you and will catch you in the act. When this happens you will be prosecuted for destruction of property, attempting to harm our business and the cost we have gone through to clean up after you. Its [sic] time to bring this to an end!!!")
It appears that season one of this series concludes with a dramatic cliffhanger ending. Will the Mad Bomber be caught in the act? Will Richard G. Sells post another notice outing the bomber for public humiliation and condemnation? We can only hope.
Tags: bathroom · exclamation-point happy!!!! · gym · more aggressive than passive · not-so-veiled threats · toilet
If you missed it, Act 1 is where this saga begins. Here, we see Richard G. Sell’s frustration grow to a fever pitch…
And it continues with Act 3…
Tags: "helpful" advice · exclamation-point happy!!!! · gym · not-so-veiled threats · shit · toilet
I don’t want to oversell this, but the following series of three signs (sent in by a health-club patron who wishes to remain nameless) just became my new all-time favorite. I love so many things about Richard G. Sells’s first masterpiece (below) that I don’t even know where to begin.
![Twice someone has crapped all over the wall, back of the toilet, under the toilet, on the seat, under the seat, and on the floor without getting any of the crap in the toilet stool [sic] itself.](https://farm1.static.flickr.com/206/510292393_af8844e94d_o.jpg "Twice someone has crapped all over the wall, back of the toilet, under the toilet, on the seat, under the seat, and on the floor without getting any of the crap in the toilet stool [sic] itself.")
The best part, I think, might be the Freudian slip mid-way through (“…without getting any of the crap in the toilet stool itself.”)
Tags: "helpful" advice · bathroom · exclamation-point happy!!!! · gym · most popular notes of 2007 · not-so-veiled threats · p.s. · shit
