Writes Monica in Salt Lake City, Utah: “The hip abduction machine has been broken at my local gym for almost the entire year. The powers that be claim it will be fixed soon, Monica says, but it looks like one fellow gym-goer decided to take up the issue with an even higher power.

related: evidently, yes

Writes our anonymous submitter from Kentucky: “I work at a gym. I was checking the women’s locker room to make sure it wasn’t a fetid stinkpit (it wasn’t) when I saw three of these lying on the counter. I went to throw them out and found a whole mess of them in the trash can, too.”

related: like a rotten sponge

Well, our anonymous contributor in Pompano Beach, Florida has one for you.

He explains: “I keep a gym membership so that I can feel good about my financial commitment to my health — not so much for the actual health benefits per se. I hadn’t been to the gym in at least two months when I came across this note posted by the showers. (My shower at home was being worked on.) I’m glad I make it a habit to wear sandals in the shower during my quarterly visits.”

related: The Mad Bomber

By popular demand, Ellen in Acton, Mass. has sent in a photo of the note that appeared next to the one about spitting in the water fountain on her gym’s suggestion board…

The original “no spitting” note has since been taken down, Ellen says. “In its place was one saying that people should stop focusing on the negative since the gym and the staff were really quite good.”

Since then, she adds, “O have not noticed any lugies in the drinking fountain. Progress?”

Ellen in Acton, Mass. spotted this on the suggestion board at her gym.

At least they don’t have a Mad Bomber on the loose…yet.

If you missed them, catch  up with Act 1 and Act 2 of the Mad Bomber saga. Here, the  (somewhat anti-climactic) conclusion:

It appears that season one of this series concludes with a dramatic cliffhanger ending. Will the Mad Bomber be caught in the act? Will Richard G. Sells post another notice outing the bomber for public humiliation and condemnation? We can only hope.

If you missed it, Act 1 is where this saga begins. Here, we see Richard G. Sell’s frustration grow to a fever pitch…

And it continues with Act 3…

I don’t want to oversell this, but the following series of three signs (sent in by a health-club patron who wishes to remain nameless) just became my new all-time favorite. I love so many things about Richard G. Sells’s first masterpiece (below) that I don’t even know where to begin.

The best part, I think, might be the Freudian slip mid-way through (“…without getting any of the crap in the toilet stool itself.”)

But it doesn’t end there! Read acts 2 and 3.