Entries Tagged as 'have a nice day'

Do you pocket like it’s hot?

October 23rd, 2012 · 108 Comments

If the consequences of eating a Hot Pocket aren’t enough to deter you from buying them, you should know that storing them in your freezer at work or school is still a risky proposition. (And no, Snoop won’t be there to back you up.)

Exhibit a) Spotted by Anna in Oakland, California:

Dear Hot Pocket Eater: How can you eat three boxes of hot pockets in less than a week?? Especially when the food in question does not belong to you!! I will be going to bed hungry because you ate all my hot pockets. IF YOU DIDN'T BUY THE FOOD, DON'T EAT IT. Some of us have jobs to buy our own food. Thanks for wasting an hour's worth of work, scum.

Exhibit b) Spotted by Diana in Green Bay, Wisconsin:

To the Hot Pocket thief: I hope you are happy that you have now stolen a pregnant

Exhibit c) Spotted by David in Austin, Texas:

Please read the labels on food. Someone ate my lean pocket & I'm hungry now. -Thanks JJ

Exhibit d) Spotted by Charlie in New York:

To whoever ate my Lean Pockets: This picture should help when you go to the store to replace them

Exhibit e) Spotted by Angie in Atlanta, with apologies for the blurriness:

To the Person who stole my lean pockets. Yours must be a truly unfortunate life to steal from someone currently receiving food stamps from the gov't because their current wage is insufficient to cover their living expenses, tuition, and food. I will now go hungry today as I'm at the limit of my budget for this week. It is my sincere wish that you burn in a lake of boiling cheese and ham not dissimilar to those found in my leanpockets. There you would dwell for a thousand years, with your skin constantly regenerating so that you can feel it being burned off your body yet again. Sincerely, Lean Pocket Less TL;DR I hate you.

(Delicious, you say? Michelle? Is that you?) And lastly…

Exhibit f) From Princeton, New Jersey:

To whom it may concern: It's not a hard concept: If you DID NOT put it in the Fridge, DO NOT take it out! Leave my Lean Pockets ALONE. [Response:] I am so sorry, but your Lean Pockets are so savory and irresistible. They call to me in my dreams. IN MY DREAMS, I SAY! I know it is wrong to covet another's frozen, microwaveable, turnover-like lunch entree filled with a delicious combination of meat, cheese and vegetables. But life moves so fast-and Lean Pockets know this. But do you know the dark pleasure of a forbidden Lean Pocket? Oh, it must be experienced. Take care; once you start down this path of frozen, microwaveable delights, it is hard to go back. BTW, the pretzel bread variety is my favorite. I'm just sayin'-in case you want to stock up.

related: Hot Pockets are the car radios of the communal freezer

Tags: guilt trip · have a nice day · office fridge · preggers · stealing · thanks (but not really) · TL;DR

Before you came into my life I used to sleep in — I used to sleep, sleep in

September 18th, 2012 · 60 Comments

Welcome to the neighbourhood! xo, Carly Rae Jepsen

Hey you just moved here! And it's early! But here's my window! So Shut Up Maybe!

related post:

Or I’ll call the cops, maybe?

Tags: Canada · have a nice day · most popular notes of 2012 · neighbors · noise · smiley

Welcome to Texas

April 10th, 2012 · 63 Comments

…where Santa brings you bunny stationery and a shotgun in the same stocking!

I got a new Benelli SuperNova for Christmas. Keep jiggling my door handle and I will show it to you personally. Have a nice day!

related: The right to bear fruit

Tags: Dallas/Fort Worth · have a nice day · neighbors · nice stationery · not-so-veiled threats · Texas

Karma Police

January 12th, 2012 · 55 Comments

This is what you get when you mess with us:

If you "attempt" to throw something away & miss or if the trashcan is already full & you pile it on top, or if the bag has fallen in & you don't fit it & just add your disgusting garbage to it, then WE HATE YOU! Don't worry about who "WE" are, just worry about cleaning up after yourself. IT IS BAD KARMA to leave your trash lying around!!! <3 the karma police have a nice day! :)

In other words: You’re a creep. You’re a weirdo. What the hell are you doing here? You don’t belong here!

SODA in H2O cups is BAD KARMA

Please help prevent bad karma: DO NOT flush feminine hygiene products.  Place in waste basket.  Thank you, Management.

(Thanks to Bonnie from North Carolina, Eric in California, and Paperback Writer in Pittsburgh for their submissions!)

 

related: Karma’s a bitch.

Tags: Coke · garbage · have a nice day · karma's a bitch · smiley · toilet

“Piece out our imperfections with your thoughts”

November 1st, 2009 · 329 Comments

Writes Mike in Provo, Utah: “This is a letter my friend Liz found on the windshield of her car during the time she was dating her now-husband. They framed the note, and now have it proudly displayed in their living room.”

passiveaggressivenotes.com: nosy neighbors in provo, utah

related: A substance user and a player!

Tags: "helpful" advice · have a nice day · most popular notes of 2009 · MYOB · neighbors · Provo · sex sex sex · unsolicited feedback · Utah

Love is a mixed-signals tape

August 25th, 2009 · 83 Comments

Based on this Valentine — found by Matthew at his share house in London — I am citing Jane with a serious “misuse of mixtape” violation. (And “by the way,” talk about burying the lead!)

Jane, minxes like you are what keep the Seth Cohen/Landry Clarks of the world pining away for the unattainable Summer Roberts/Tyra Collettes of the world instead of making a go of it with the smart, punky, emotionally available girl with cute glasses who is so clearly the better choice. I reserve judgment on Gareth only because this note was found abandoned in a share house he no longer lives in, rather than being pressed into a scrapbook somewhere. Let’s hope he’s moved on from his infatuation with this unemployed little cock-tease.

Sorry, I don't actually fancy you, by the way! Have a nice day! Love, Jane

related: Textbook Dmitri

Tags: burying the lead · have a nice day · heart · mean girls · signed with love

Frig you, ya big goof

August 19th, 2009 · 126 Comments

This note, from Michelle in Denver, displays the remarkable lengths that some people will go to avoid confrontation.

“This bright-green gem wasn’t the only priceless thing visible,” Michelle says. “On the cubicle wall closest to the refrigerators was a camera…and it was actually connected to the computer and recording a live feed. This is why you don’t steal from the fridge when you work for a multimedia corporation!”

To the person who help themselves to my entire carton of eggs. I saw what you did and I know who you are. I sit 10 steps from the frig [sic] ya big good. The jig is up pal But hang on. Today is your lucky day. I'm not going to say a word to anyone. But moving forward if so much as a grape goes missing from either refrigerator, then I'm going to HR. Have a nice day :)

related: ABP on the V8

Tags: Denver · food · have a nice day · message to all intended for one · not-so-veiled threats · office fridge · smiley