Entries Tagged as '"helpful" advice'

Spoken like someone who has never tried to take a one-year-old shopping

February 15th, 2010 · 307 Comments

Alex and his wife, Kathy, have an 18-month-old son who, among other his hobbies, enjoys pulling off his socks and shoes at any opportunity. (Perhaps he’s a future marathon-running superathlete. Or, you know, a normal 18-month-old.)
Recently, Kathy took her son with her on a trip to the store in their hometown of Las Vegas (temperature: [...]

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Tags: "helpful" advice · exclamation-point happy! · kids · moms & dads · strangers · unsolicited feedback

You need some help

February 2nd, 2010 · 146 Comments

On a lark, Michelle in Florida posted a profile on the online dating site OKCupid after taking one of the site’s quizzes late one night, allowing the site to pull most of her interests and whatnot from Facebook.
“I didn’t think anything more of it,” she says, that is, until she got this “helpful” message — [...]

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Tags: "helpful" advice · online dating · unsolicited feedback

Sweet & Lowdown

January 18th, 2010 · 103 Comments

Sadly, not everyone shares Angela’s compassion for the portly.
At Julie’s office in Alexandria, Virginia, one employee decided to formalize his or her grudge against artificial sweeteners (and us fatties who love them) with a little help from the reception desk label-maker. Protests Julie: “Hey, some of us just like our sucralose, okay? Or maybe we’re [...]

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Tags: "helpful" advice · office

Sounds like somebody’s got a case of the Mondays…

November 15th, 2009 · 150 Comments

Perhaps Dirty Lady #2 got an office job?

related: the most disgusting thing is a nasty lady

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Tags: "helpful" advice · a little patronizing · hygiene · odor · office

Loose lips shrink hips?

November 9th, 2009 · 269 Comments

Our anonymous submitter from Herndon, Virginia and two of his friends — “all three of us on the large size” — were having lunch at a restaurant when a lady sitting nearby passed them this dear little note of encouragement.

related: hey, fatty

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Tags: "helpful" advice · culture clash · unsolicited feedback

“piece out our imperfections with your thoughts”

November 1st, 2009 · 328 Comments

Writes Mike in Provo, Utah: “This is a letter my friend Liz found on the windshield of her car during the time she was dating her now-husband. They framed the note, and now have it proudly displayed in their living room.”

related: a substance user and a player!

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Tags: "helpful" advice · MYOB · have a nice day · neighbors · sex sex sex · unsolicited feedback · utah

What would Jesus do for a Klondike bar?

April 7th, 2009 · 104 Comments

Joanna from San Diego spotted this beauty in the public kitchen at her grandparents’ retirement home in Chattanooga, Tennessee.  Writes Joanna: “I love it because it combines passive-aggressiveness with religious sanctimony. Delicious!”

related: no, He uses vaseline

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Tags: "helpful" advice · CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy! · jesus · martyr complex · old folks · stealing · tennessee

Wanna touch the baby?

April 6th, 2009 · 372 Comments

“My co-worker had a ‘meet our bundle of joy’ party in a common space of his apartment building,” says our anonymous submitter in New York City, and these notes were peppered throughout the space. ”Not only did I opt out of ‘touching’ their baby, I also passed on digging into the bowl of Ruffles.”

Meanwhile, as Carson [...]

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Tags: "helpful" advice · CAPS LOCK · hygiene · moms & dads · new york

more notes white people leave

March 30th, 2009 · 247 Comments

quelle horreur!  “a good week after using my roommate’s microplane to grate parmesan, this note showed up on the fridge whiteboard,” writes tori in (where else?) san francisco. “apparently microplanes are for ZESTING ONLY!”

(unless, of course, it’s a microplane zester/grater.)
related: notes white people leave

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Tags: "helpful" advice · kitchen · roommates · san francisco · whiteboard

Oh, the Rancher and the McMansioner should be friends

March 22nd, 2009 · 222 Comments

Our anonymous submitter found several copies of this notice posted around her McMansion-filled neighborhood in Leander, Texas, just five charmingly rustic miles north of Austin proper. (If you’re a little short in the 4-H ribbon department, that’s your cue to shake your head and mutter “Pshaw, city folk!”)

related: If your grandma wrote PSAs

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Tags: "helpful" advice · CAPS LOCK · neighbors · texas · thanks (but not really)

Maybe if you had just an itty-bitty limp?

February 17th, 2009 · 342 Comments

First of all, the disclaimer: Our anonymous submitter in Houston lives in an apartment complex with very limited parking for residents. “When I come home from work late at night,” she explains, “the handicapped parking spot is typically the only one available.” That excuse, however, doesn’t seem to cut it for one of her neighbors.
As [...]

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Tags: "helpful" advice · houston · kinda creepy · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · parking · smiley · texas · that's illegal

a little advice for the ladies

February 12th, 2009 · 100 Comments

…courtesy of the hapless young lads of north america.
as documented by kimberlee in lawrence, kansas:

and by grant in toronto, canada:

happy breakup season, everyone!
related: some dating advice

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Tags: "helpful" advice · battle of the sexes · canada · kansas · kinda creepy · toronto

p.p.s. do you really have a belly like a bowl full of jelly? if so, you might want to lay off the cookies

December 24th, 2008 · 42 Comments

writes lisa in orlando: “my 8-year-old daughter was concerned about all the pictures of santa portraying him with a whip. she wrote him this letter thinking he might appreciate her helpful advice on taking care of his animals.”

related: no girls allowed

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Tags: "helpful" advice · florida · holiday spirit · kids · orlando · p.s. · signed with love

an inconvenient truth

October 7th, 2008 · 87 Comments

al gore would likely be pleased hear that marc in san diego rides his bike (a vintage blue colnago) to work in the mornings. a certain evangelical bike messenger, however, was less than impressed.

marc says he’s since ditched his old cable lock. “after this note taught me the error of my ways, i now keep [...]

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Tags: "helpful" advice · bicycle · stealing

A sign (or ten) that your HR department might have too much time on their hands

September 21st, 2008 · 146 Comments

The tenth-floor kitchen at this office has no fewer than ten of these painstakingly laminated, clip-art-covered notes — and our anonymous submitter says this kitchen is only the tip of the iceberg.
“Nearly all of the notes in our office receive the same attention to detail,” our submitter says. “Every time I come to work I [...]

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Tags: "helpful" advice · blitzkrieg approach · clip art catastrophe · gloriously redundant · microwave · office · office fridge · popcorn

american analog threat

July 20th, 2008 · 187 Comments

the manager of a florida preschool seems to have a kindred spirit at a missouri strip club, where our anonymous submitter spotted this note taped to a dressing-room mirror.

personally, i like the idea of an junior-high-elective-style employment program. (dance? restaurant management? government? you decide!)
related: happy to be of service

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Tags: "helpful" advice · mcdonalds · missouri · not-so-veiled threats · now that's management · visual aids

a deep-seated issue

July 17th, 2008 · 621 Comments

marcus in leicester, u.k. found this stuck to the lid of the toilet by one of his housemates. “i’d understand if it was the seat,” he says, “but the lid?”

i’m with marcus, here — i don’t think this is some kind of dear abby “does the toilet paper go over or under?” type issue. is [...]

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Tags: "helpful" advice · "up for debate" · etiquette · leicester · toilet · u.k.

Sheena is a paintballer

July 9th, 2008 · 179 Comments

Where do you suppose this “anomous” Tampa, Florida resident stands on the whole nature-vs.-nurture debate?

Interested? here’s a free preview!

related: your to lazy

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Tags: "helpful" advice · CAPS LOCK · crazypants · dubious scientific claims · exclamation-point happy! · florida · gloriously redundant · irregular capitalization · kids today · moms & dads · neighbors · spelling and grammar police · tampa · the lawn · unnecessary "quotation marks"

an official declaration of the silent treatment

July 1st, 2008 · 354 Comments

nadia received this letter from her boyfriend’s cousin, amy, who recently relocated with her boyfriend from saskatoon to victoria, canada…and have been shacking up with nadia and her boyfriend since then. over the past month, roomie relations have become a bit strained, to say the least.
“we had to send a stray cat she was harboring [...]

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Tags: "helpful" advice · TLDR · canada · family · p.s. · roommates · saskatoon · spelling and grammar police

a matter of taste

June 2nd, 2008 · 203 Comments

christine in san rafael, california says sol food is “literally the best thing about san rafael.” one reason? the restaurant “keeps this gem of a note right where it belongs — on display in the glass cabinet outside the front door, where most restaurants would keep a menu.”
seeing as the note has been up [...]

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Tags: "helpful" advice · a matter of taste · bay area · california · marin · not-so-veiled threats · oh no you didn't · puerto rico · restaurant · san rafael

News you can use

May 25th, 2008 · 62 Comments

The word “newsflash,” like the phrase “no offense,” is an early indicator that what follows is probably going to be something pretty bitchy. Unless, of course, you’re watching TV news, in which case the word “newsflash” more likely heralds the announcement of a hard-hitting segment about the household product in your kitchen that could be [...]

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Tags: "helpful" advice · a little patronizing · facebook · garbage · ice · moms & dads · office · roommates · sarcasm · thanks (but not really) · whiteboard

some dating advice

May 16th, 2008 · 157 Comments

a breakup note too long for a text message…though that might have a been more (fucking) appropriate.

related: you oughta know

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Tags: "helpful" advice · breakup · cleveland · ex drama · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · more aggressive than passive

the overly friendly coworker: ruining your day since you held the elevator for her that one time

April 21st, 2008 · 136 Comments

homero in portland had just finished heating up his lunch in the office microwave when he returned to his desk to find this “helpful” note (attached to an ad from the local alt-weekly) waiting on his chair. though it’s unsigned, he says he’s pretty sure he knows which coworker left it for him. “she’s kind [...]

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Tags: "helpful" advice · office · portland · smiley

but who’s counting?

March 16th, 2008 · 74 Comments

writes an anonymous new yorker: “our neighbors hate us because we are the youngest in the building. thus, any malfunction that occurs in the building results in notes directed towards us. and yes, this note was a follow-up to another note (seen at left) also directed at us.”

happy st. patrick’s day, kids!
related: infinite note project

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Tags: "helpful" advice · a little patronizing · kids today · neighbors · new york · opening/closing

je comprends…moi non plus

March 10th, 2008 · 275 Comments

marc in san francisco spotted this at a restaurant in the haight called all you knead (have fun with those puns, kids). i can certainly empathize, but after reading some of the reviews…well, maybe there’s a reason the tips aren’t so great.

related: a friendly tip from your waitress

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Tags: "helpful" advice · a little patronizing · francais · restaurant · san francisco · tipping