Entries Tagged as '“helpful” advice'

Next time, go for the Fiji?

May 24th, 2007 · 11 Comments

This fiendishly funny note comes to us courtesy of Jennifer in Philly, who does not condone the theft of bottled water of any kind.

To the fiend that took my Deer Park water which was frozen solid out of the freezer in the door tip shelf!!!

Tags: "helpful" advice · exclamation-point happy!!!! · not-so-veiled threats · office · office fridge · oh snap · stealing · water

Meet my new therapist: the cable guy

May 24th, 2007 · 10 Comments

Cindy and her friend had a falling out. The ex-friend then sent Cindy this message on Facebook. Something tells me this post isn’t going to be the olive branch that brings them back together.

I am not sure if you are still using my internet connection but if you are you should get your own

Tags: "helpful" advice · college life · Facebook · frenemies · spelling and grammar police

The Mad Bomber, Act 2: Please stay seated during the entire performance

May 23rd, 2007 · 34 Comments

If you missed it, Act 1 is where this saga begins. Here, we see Richard G. Sell’s frustration grow to a fever pitch…

WE ARE TIRED OF THIS!!!!!! Let it be known by all of our female members that the staff of the Lawrence Athletic Club are tired of cleaning up after the MAD BOMBER.

And it continues with Act 3

Tags: "helpful" advice · exclamation-point happy!!!! · gym · not-so-veiled threats · shit · toilet

You know he only became a DJ to get girls

May 23rd, 2007 · 17 Comments

Jenny insists this note wasn’t just because the dude wouldn’t take her request for “Toxic.” (“The DJ really sucked!”)

This party would be better if the music didn't fucking suck. xox Meagan + Jenny

Tags: "helpful" advice · excessive underlining · heart · music · xoxo

The Mad Bomber, Act 1: “Sorry about the language”

May 22nd, 2007 · 36 Comments

I don’t want to oversell this, but the following series of three signs (sent in by a health-club patron who wishes to remain nameless) just became my new all-time favorite. I love so many things about Richard G. Sells’s first masterpiece (below) that I don’t even know where to begin.

Twice someone has crapped all over the wall, back of the toilet, under the toilet, on the seat, under the seat, and on the floor without getting any of the crap in the toilet stool [sic] itself.

The best part, I think, might be the Freudian slip mid-way through (“…without getting any of the crap in the toilet stool itself.”)

But it doesn’t end there! Read acts 2 and 3.

Tags: "helpful" advice · bathroom · exclamation-point happy!!!! · gym · most popular notes of 2007 · not-so-veiled threats · p.s. · shit

With 17 roommates, it could have been worse

May 21st, 2007 · 17 Comments

This lovely petri dish courtesy of Ben, who explains: “While living in a house in London with 17 people from all over the world, things become way too green. This had to be done every once in a while in order to remind others not to overpopulate our kitchen with new living organisms.”

If you don't want GREEN stuff growing out of our plates, please wash your dishes. Cheers

related: Maybe someone can do this dishes? :)

Tags: "helpful" advice · dishes · London · roommates

When you get down to it

May 20th, 2007 · 24 Comments

Thanks to Rachel for bringing to light another key battleground for office passive-aggressives: the thermostat.

Folks, as you know, we have control over the office thermostat above, but please, let's never turn it down to 55 degrees. Turning it to this temperature does not make the office cool down more quickly; it simply makes the air conditioning never stop pushing cold air. This thermostat is located too far from the A/C to reach such an extremely cold temperature (which is what would turn the system off and on to regulate the temperature). And when you get down to it, 55 degrees outdoors is coat weather anyway. In the large room at the end of the office, this endless blast of cold air can make it almost unbearable to work — things on our desks even turn cold to the touch! Come and stand near the windows and the A/C vents and you'll see. If there's an area of the office or a private office that isn't cooling properly, please have Nina help out by calling building maintenance and getting it fixed. But the general thermostat should not go below 70. Those of us sitting next to the A/C vents thank you very much!

related: This is your friend the thermostat

Tags: "helpful" advice · New York · office · temperature

Maybe next time you should try Power Point?

May 17th, 2007 · 25 Comments

The visual aid here is genius, and I love the piggyback note. (Once two people join in, the whole thing has a tendency to spiral out of control into a massive anonymous bitchfest.)

Please do not leave the toilet in this state. Other people have to use it too. Also, please respect that women use this restroom & please put the seat down!

Spotted by Steve.

UPDATE: the sign-maker writes in to claim his handiwork! Oliver explains:

I was horrified at this state, but I also did not want to be labeled as the person that left the toilet in this state. I wanted to clean up the mess but then how would I communicate my disgust to the unknown person that actually did it? So this was my solution. Document the offense including time found and then clean up.

Like I said: genius.

Tags: "helpful" advice · bathroom · office · toilet

A single unit

May 12th, 2007 · 34 Comments

At first glace, this notice  — from an auto shop somewhere between New York and Atlantic City — doesn’t seem to fit the criteria for a passive-aggressive note (observe the absence of faux niceties like “please” or “thanks!!!”), but the pseudo-helpful clarification (“this means pants + shirts as a single unit…”) helps inch it just over the line.

To all employees: You must wear the unitard that was provided! This means pants + shirts as a single unit...

Tags: "helpful" advice · attire · New Jersey · obnoxious definition · office · whiteboard

“Too many”

May 12th, 2007 · 29 Comments

This card came with a box of homemade mandelbrot from my very own passive-aggressive Jewish grandmother.

Wishing you love, joy and a good day! Enjoy but don't eat too many!!

Tags: "helpful" advice · exclamation-point happy!!!! · food · Grandma · hey fatty