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Entries Tagged as '“helpful” advice'

An official declaration of the silent treatment

July 1st, 2008 · 354 Comments

Nadia received this letter from her boyfriend’s cousin, Amy, who recently relocated with her boyfriend from Saskatoon to Victoria, B.C…and have been shacking up with Nadia and her boyfriend even since. Over the past month, roomie relations have become a bit strained, to say the least.

“We had to send a stray cat she was harboring to a friend’s house temporarily (my allergies were killing me),” Nadia says, and Amy proceeded to pout for three days straight. A minor-blow out ensued, which was then followed by this untitled composition. Nadia and her boyfriend are scheduled to move out on Wednesday.

This is to notify you that I wish to NOT be on speaking terms with you.

Adds Nadia: “A friend of mine (a B.A. in professional writing and linguistics) and I (a high school science and math teacher with a zoology degree and a B.Ed.) corrected all of the mistakes in the letter.” Then, fighting ire with ire, they posted it on the fridge.

Despite the poor quality of this piece, I submitted it to passiveaggressivenotes.com.

related: Nice move

Tags: "helpful" advice · Canada · family · p.s. · roommates · spelling and grammar police · TL;DR

A matter of taste

June 2nd, 2008 · 203 Comments

Christine in San Rafael, California says Sol Food is “literally the best thing about San Rafael.” One reason, she says? The restaurant “keeps this gem of a note right where it belongs — on display in the glass cabinet outside the front door, where most restaurants would keep a menu.”

Seeing as the note has been up for about a year and half so far, it seems Angelo’s threat hasn’t caused much concern. In fact, Christine says, “the place is so popular that it always has a line out the door, which (bonus!) allows me to read it over and over again.”

a matter of taste

(See the lime-green exterior for yourself here and here.)

related: Wrath mat

Tags: "helpful" advice · a matter of taste · Bay Area · California · Marin · not-so-veiled threats · oh no you didn't · Puerto Rico · restaurant · San Rafael

News you can use

May 25th, 2008 · 62 Comments

The word “newsflash,” like the phrase “no offense,” is an early indicator that what follows is probably going to be something pretty bitchy. Unless, of course, you’re watching TV news, in which case the word “newsflash” more likely heralds the announcement of a hard-hitting segment about the household product in your kitchen that could be killing your children. Either way: proceed with caution.

Exhibit a) from roommate to roommate, Chicago

Newsflash 1: trash does not take itself out. GROSS!?

Exhibit b) from mother to daughter, Irving, Texas

I have a news flash! I don't buy your wine! Thanks for drinking a bottle I never got to try!

Exhibit c) the pointed use of song lyrics in a Facebook status update

Newsflash BITCH...I don't live to please you

Exhibit d) stating the obvious

Newsflash: There is no ice fairy. If you do not have the courtesy to refill the ice trays (especially in 100 degree weather) do not take any ice.

SHOCKING NEWSFLASH: Dishes don't wash themselves

NEWSFLASH Bush: One of the Worst Disasters to Hit the U.S.

related: No offense! (just kidding) No worries! (just kidding)

Tags: "helpful" advice · a little patronizing · Facebook · garbage · ice · Moms & Dads · office · roommates · sarcasm · thanks (but not really) · whiteboard

Some dating advice

May 16th, 2008 · 156 Comments

Here, a break-up note too long for a text message…though that might have a been more (fucking) appropriate.

If you're going to have naked pics of your ex on your phone, you might not want to make them your background pic + LEAVE YOUR PHONE OPEN WHILE YOU SHOWER! I am going for a walk + you better be the FUCK out of my apt by the time I get back. You're a fucking DOUCHE -- SHE'S FUCKING FAT! WTF?

related: you oughta know

Tags: "helpful" advice · breakup · Cleveland · ex drama · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · more aggressive than passive

The overly friendly coworker: ruining your day since you held the elevator for her that one time

April 21st, 2008 · 137 Comments

Homero in Portland had just finished heating up his lunch in the office microwave when he returned to his desk to find this “helpful” note — attached to an ad from the local alt-weekly — waiting on his chair. Though it’s unsigned, he says he’s pretty sure he knows which coworker left it for him. “She’s kind of socially stunted, but seems to think that a) she’s very funny and b) we’re BFF,” Homero says. “Um…no.”

I saw this ad and thought u might find his services helpful :P

related: WoW, indeed

Tags: "helpful" advice · office · Portland · smiley

But who’s counting?

March 16th, 2008 · 73 Comments

Writes an anonymous New Yorker: “Our neighbors hate us because we are the youngest in the building. Thus, any malfunction that occurs in the building results in notes directed towards us. And yes, this note was a follow-up to another note (seen at left) also directed at us.”

PULL THE DOOR SHUT! THE GREEN DOOR has been LEFT OPEN 3 times since last note.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day, kids!

related: infinite note project

Tags: "helpful" advice · a little patronizing · kids today · neighbors · New York · opening/closing

Je comprends…moi non plus

March 10th, 2008 · 275 Comments

Marc in San Francisco spotted this at a restaurant in the Haight called All You Knead (have fun with those puns, kids). I can certainly empathize, but after reading some of the reviews…well, maybe there’s a reason the tips aren’t so great.

Attention foreign travelers...a quick guide to the wacky American custom of tipping

related: A friendly tip from your waitress

Tags: "helpful" advice · a little patronizing · Francais · restaurant · San Francisco · tipping

And my beef sandwich and my yogurt

February 28th, 2008 · 82 Comments

Spotted by Sarah in Minneapolis…

related: take out of box, place directly in toilet

Tags: "helpful" advice · food · FYI · Minneapolis/St. Paul · office fridge

Thou dost protest too much, methinks

January 22nd, 2008 · 66 Comments

Writes Joe in Denver: “My roommate gets very emotional when someone criticizes him, but will gladly e-mail me or leave notes around the house with dozens of ‘little reminders’” like this one — written after Joe left a broom in the living room overnight.

Please put it back when you are done : Im not being bitchy or talking down — just making nice!

related: How not to housetrain a roommate

Tags: "helpful" advice · a little uptight · Denver · smiley

“Take out of box, place directly in toilet”

January 13th, 2008 · 85 Comments

After noticing a tell-tale crisping sleeve in the garbage, Charlie in New York spotted this helpful directive on the office fridge.

TO WHOEVER ATE MY LEAN POCKETS: THIS PICTURE SHOULD HELP WHEN YOU GO TO THE STORE TO REPLACE THEM

(Though if you ask Jim Gaffigan, the thief was really doing the guy a favor.)

related: I swear this isn’t some kind of viral marketing campaign

Tags: "helpful" advice · New York · office fridge · stealing · visual aids