Entries Tagged as 'hey fatty'
In this episode of targeted advertising gone awry, Jill in Nashville went the grocery store and bought a bag of chocolate chips (“to make cookies for work”) and one pint of Ben & Jerry’s (“just one, mind you!”)
If Jill sounds a little defensive, that’s probably because — thanks to some disarmingly deadpan algorithms — she received this perky little coupon along with her receipt.
Meanwhile, a submitter in Ohio was about to reach for the Cherry Garcia — but stopped short when she spotted this “sign from above.”
related: Are you calling me fat?
Tags: bad sales pitch · food · hey fatty · ice cream · Nashville · Ohio
As it happens, our entire technical staff (a.k.a Eric) recently completed a Ph.D in computer science and took a job at the newly formed Max Planck Institute for Intelligent Systems in picturesque Tübingen, Germany. (That’s right kids, if you work hard, and get your doctorate in computer science, you too may one day be qualified enough to host a found-content blog!)
Upon arriving at MPI’s Tübingen campus, Eric immediately felt at home. Specifically, he spotted some encouraging signage right next to the second floor elevator in one of MPI’s buildings.
Besides being a powerful testament to Southern Germany’s deep love of hiking, this health conscious posting also highlights the institute’s international reach. As you can see, the note itself is actually a photograph of a sign that was originally posted at (by?) Korea University*.
Of course walking down a single flight of stairs is hardly an inconvenience, particularly since the stairs in question are literally across from the elevator and lead directly to the building’s main entrance. The folks on the third floor, however, have a different perspective on the situation. Posted next to the third floor elevator is this rather charming reply.
Finally, from across the Atlantic, students at the University of Virginia have brought to light an additional concern surrounding the classic elevator vs. stairs debate. The following note, spotted by Trisha, was placed by the stairs of her UVA apartment building…along with an entire box of fat-free vanilla pudding.
Needless to say, the pudding was gone by the end of the day.
Tags: Charlottesville · college life · elevator · Germany · hey fatty · rebuttals
September 22nd, 2010 · 55 Comments
So, the other day, Olivia’s mother and aunt were having a conversation, and her Mom was fretting about how she’d been overeating this week and how she was going back on her diet the very next day and blahblahblahwhydon’tgrown-upsevertalkaboutanythinginteresting.
Olivia says this inspired her eavesdropping 7-year-old sister to post this helpful reminder where their Mom gets ready in the morning, just to make sure she wouldn’t forget!
related: Please don’t take this the wrong way, pregnant lady, but have you considered Weight Watchers?
Tags: "helpful" advice · heart · hey fatty · Houston · Mother-daughter notes · signed with love
Our Bay-Area submitter returned from lunch one day to find this note from an anonymous concerned coworker.
“I’ll admit that I’ve gained about 15 pounds recently,” she says. However, “At 4’11 and normally around 95 pounds, even with the extra 15 I’m still within an acceptable weight range for my height.” But the real kicker, says our submitter?
“I’m also 5 months pregnant. I just haven’t made a big deal about it by talking incessantly about it or demanding special treatment like I’m God’s gift to the world just because I got myself knocked up.”
(So, uh, I think that’s a no, she won’t be seeing you there.)
related: I am beautiful, not matter what they say (or passive-aggressively insinuate)
Tags: "helpful" advice · Bay Area · hey fatty · most popular notes of 2010 · office · oh no you didn't · preggers · smiley · the best of intentions
Luckily, Liz in Houston convinced her work buddy not to forward this not-at-all-passive Jerry Springer-esque rant to the entire company e-mail list, as originally intended. (Otherwise, work buddy’s much-needed vacation might have turned out to be a permanent one.)
related: Do your stairs think you’re fat?
extra credit: How not to land an internship [gawker.com]
Tags: all-staff e-mail · elevator · hey fatty · Houston · more aggressive than passive · not so much passive-aggressive · office · pointlessly self-censored profanity
Katie in Oklahoma City was cleaning out a box of wedding memorabilia when she rediscovered this note from her mother, written just after she paid for Katie’s wedding dress.
Although I know a lot of brides who would have immediately ripped this card (and the enclosed check) to bits, Katie accepted the gift with impressively good humor. “I found it funny,” she says, “because it’s just the way my Mom is. She signed my Dad’s name too, but it’s from her…just her.”
“Oh, and just FYI,” Katie adds, “I think I weighed 115 pounds at the time this note was written.”
related: Loose lips shrink hips?
extra credit: We hope there’s a Borg scale for every bride! [LIFE magazine, 1961]
Tags: "helpful" advice · a little insensitive · hey fatty · Moms & Dads · money · most popular notes of 2010 · Mother-daughter notes · oh no you didn't · Oklahoma · signed with love · weddings and bridezillas
Sadly, not everyone shares Angela‘s compassion for the portly.
At Julie’s office in Alexandria, Virginia, one employee decided to formalize his or her grudge against artificial sweeteners (and us fatties who love them) with a little help from the reception desk label-maker. Protests Julie: “Hey, some of us just like our sucralose, okay? Or maybe we’re diabetic!”
(In one office break room in the Twin Cities, meanwhile, the sugar packets themselves do the talking…)
And across town at a different office in St. Paul, the office manager (“a fitness freak,” according to our submitter) takes the (relatively) constructive approach with her fellow employees — who are, our submitter agrees, “a bunch of lard-ass geeks who don’t exercise.” Um, thanks?
related: Do your stairs think you’re fat?
Tags: "helpful" advice · hey fatty · office
Our anonymous submitter from Herndon, Virginia and two of his friends — “all three of us on the large size” — were having lunch at a restaurant when a lady sitting nearby passed them this dear little note of encouragement.
related: hey, fatty
Tags: "helpful" advice · culture clash · hey fatty · most popular notes of 2009 · unsolicited feedback
Rachel in Victoria, B.C. found this somewhat puzzling bit of anthropomorphism (stairs have feelings? really?) posted in the elevator of her building. “My favourite part is ‘your bum will love it,’” Rachel says. “No better way to guilt trip people into ‘saving energy’ than by insinuating that they’re fat!”
related: Hey, fatty
Tags: anthropomorphism · Canada · elevator · energy usage · excessive underlining · guilt trip · hey fatty
Christoph found this polite and friendly note on the door of his apartment in San Francisco. a reasonable enough request, to be sure, except for the fact that — despite his neighbor’s claimed omniscience — “I don’t own any exercise equipment.”
Admits Christoph: “The sound in question was likely a swivel chair…and my habit of rolling back and forth on it at 2 a.m.”
Meanwhile, Kate spotted this lonely stair-climber in the front yard of a nearby house in Snohomish, Washington. “It made me wonder whose stairmaster it really was,” Kate says, “and who wrote the note.” (A newly self-aware infomercial enthusiast? A bitter spouse?)
Alas, Kate says, “We may never know. The underused piece of exercise equipment was gone by morning.”
related: If you needed an excuse to skip the gym today
extra credit: The hawaii chair [youtube.com]
Tags: a little patronizing · hey fatty · irregular capitalization · neighbors · noise · San Francisco · Washington state