Entries Tagged as 'high on highlighter'

Would you trust this guy around a table saw?

September 3rd, 2012 · 77 Comments

Recognizing its greatness, Kori in San Diego says her neighbor had this letter framed; it’s now held a place of honor in the garage for more than a decade.

The high school who was to get the sable-saw will not get this and other tools because of Your poor intelligence of not wearing something on your clothing letting people know that your [sic] are the CASHIER. By the way what is your I.Q.?

(Just click the photo to enlarge.)

related: Some advice on holding a Garage Sale

Tags: garage sale · guilt trip · high on highlighter · San Diego · spelling and grammar police · unsolicited feedback

Dear Bad Mood Customer

February 2nd, 2011 · 52 Comments

“The Lakeview area doesn’t have the most convenient post office locations, so many people just stop in at this shipping center,” says Zach in Chicago. “This sign is well known in the neighborhood.” (Indeed, I’ve gotten photos of it from at least five different submitters.)

“The lady who served me seemed nice,” says Leigh, “but I guess people aren’t so nice to her.” Meanwhile, Casey, another submitter, says: “the little lady actually picks fights with customers! She charged me astronomical prices for shipping books and when I asked her about it, she started yelling at me.” I guess that’s the convenience charge?

Dear Bad Mood Customer if you don't like our price just go other place for your business. Don't make our day not peaceful by only less than $1.00 more and your dirty words. Life is so short to be ? by your too little. Thank you.

Dear Bad Mood Customer if you don't like our price just go other place for your business. Don't make our day not peaceful by only less than $1.00 more and your dirty words. Life is so short to be ? by your too little. Thank you.

related: Service with a snarl

Tags: "customer service" · actually totally reasonable · CAPS LOCK · Chicago · Clearly a non-native English speaker · high on highlighter

The neighborhood warning wagon

September 28th, 2010 · 157 Comments

Upon moving into their new college house this fall, Danny and his roommates at Boston College received this delightfully punctuated welcome letter from their next door neighbor — delivered via U.S. Postal Service, no less.

I, for one, can’t wait ’til the Ben Affleck adaptation comes out. We’ll have a “late night beer party” to celebrate!

Welcome to our neighborhood, I just wanted to let you know, that your house has been over the years had really bad police reports on late nigh beer parties! (10 PM to almost all night) Please keep in mind that this neighborhood will not tolerate "late night parties" Which includes: yelling, talking loud on back porches and your back yard and loud friends that visit! Especially this Labor Day Weekend! I understand that you college kids like to drink and have fun, but! After 10 PM if noise is too loud, police will be called, there are alot of elderly, kids and families in this area that will not tolerate this bullshit! I know Bill Mills very well (BC College) and if you guys "act up"! Calls will be made! Please show some respect in our neighborhood and keep the noise level low! If not! Police will be called! Have a good school year and be good neighbors, ok?

(P.S.) THIS INCLUDES

related: Passive voice abuse

Tags: alot · beer · Boston · CAPS LOCK · college life · crazypants · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · high on highlighter · I'm telling on you! · kids today · most popular notes of 2010 · neighbors · noise · p.s. · passive voice · smiley · spelling and grammar police · unnecessary "quotation marks" · warning · You call that punctuation?

(Don’t Fear) The Creeper

January 3rd, 2010 · 170 Comments

I live in an apartment complex where most people know each other and are generally on good terms,” says Jin in California…or so he thought. As it turns out, there’s a pool of bold-underlined-all-caps-highlighted frustration simmering (oh-so-hilariously) just below the surface.

Hey you! Yes YOU! (The Peeping Tom): If I EVER catch you looking through my window again I swear on everything I hold dear that my cooter will be the last thing your pervy eyes will ever see again.

To the person who saw me peeping at you

related: Be more private with yourself

Tags: bold underlined italics · California · CAPS LOCK · double-entendre alert · high on highlighter · holiday spirit · mistaken identity · most popular notes of 2010 · neighbors · non-apology apology · not-so-veiled threats · Oops? · rebuttals · sad face · sex sex sex

Don’t blame us

July 28th, 2009 · 158 Comments

Exhibit a) Spotted at a laundromat in Silver Lake by Jessica in Los Angeles…

Don't BLAME Us If there aren't any paper towels!!! We do our best to have a clean well run Laundromat for you to do your laundry. But, someone is: STEALING PAPER TOWELS. Taking a bunch of towels off the dispenser and taking them home. Can you believe it???? So, if there aren't towels when you need one, now you know why. Thank you.

Exhibit b) From Ronnie’s Diner, also in LA.., by Valerie:

No dogs on the patio. Thanks to the crazy lady that called the health department. Mean people suck.

Exhibit c) From Barnacle Bill’s in Sarasota, Florida:

We regret not being able to provide these products: MILLER LITE, HEINEKEN, AMSTEL LITE, COORS LITE, FOSTERS, SAM ADAMS due to extremely poor customer service by J.J. Taylor.

Exhibit d) From, as Miranda explains, ” the local ‘community thrift store’ in Dahlonega, Georgia, where everything is donated, and all the people who work there…are volunteers. Raising the prices to compensate for the volunteers’ efforts? Makes TONS of sense to me!”
Due to shoppers not willing to put things they look at back as they found them the price is being increased due to the time spent by volunteers trying to organize room

But (because the decision had to be made) I would say that this  final note — spotted by Rusty at a B&B in Newfoundland — is my absolute favorite.

LAUNDRY IS NO LONGER AVAILABLE. SORRY Due to Circumstances, the Decision HAD TO BE MADE.

related: When you can’t blame the dog

Tags: "customer service" · CAPS LOCK · confusion??? · excessive underlining · high on highlighter · laundry · passive voice · public shaming

Recession incentive plan

July 9th, 2009 · 160 Comments

Writes Katrina in Illinois: “I work in furniture, and due to the economy/the real estate crash, the company has been struggling and a lot of employees have been making a lot less money.  This little morale booster was found on the break room bulletin board — right beside the letter notifying us that the company was no longer matching 401(k) contributions.”

To all Employees: New incentive plan: work - or get fired!

related: “That’s what she said”

Tags: fired · high on highlighter · Illinois · now that's management

People got a lotta nerve

April 26th, 2009 · 126 Comments

“One of my coworkers — normally a calm, even-keeled woman — sits near the door of the office,” writes Ali in Minnesota. “When others come in at night to write reports or look up info, they apparently destroy her desk in the matter of minutes. After a series of coffee cups and chair-lowerings, up went this note. Everyone in the office found it so funny they started adding snarling animals to the note. Ferocious!”

people got a lotta nerve

While I can understand this woman’s frustration, one thing I’ll never be able to understand is the logic behind highlighting an entire (caps-locked!) message.

related: cubicle etiquette

Tags: CAPS LOCK · high on highlighter · Minnesota · not-so-veiled threats · office · stealing

Seriously?

January 29th, 2009 · 171 Comments

Kait’s roommate in Providence, R.I. was already pissed that the animal house next door was throwing a party on a Tuesday night before a big exam, but it was the shitty pop-rock that really pushed her over the edge. And like so many other college-aged females, “over the edge” means…colored markers.

We love music too, but why so LOUD? Seriously...Sugar Ray?

Adds Kait: “It didn’t stop the noise, but we did get a [sadly undocumented] written response: “Come by if your [sic] fit and into doggie.”

related: Do that to me one more time

Tags: college life · high on highlighter · music · Providence

Sigh-ned

January 11th, 2009 · 89 Comments

Our anonymous submitter in Cleveland found this note taped to the office paper shredder. “My first thought was, ‘Wow, this person has issues deeper than the full shredder.’”

HEY YOU! Yeah, YOU!! EMPTY THIS EVERY TIME!! THAT YOU USE IT!! SIGHNED [sic] - TICKED OFF!!

related: Especially Deborah

Tags: Cleveland · crazypants · exclamation-point happy!!!! · high on highlighter · office · Ohio · spelling and grammar police

The rhyme that must be flushed

December 9th, 2008 · 196 Comments

Apparently, sayeth google analytics, the oh-so-clever phrase “if you sprinkle when you tinkle” is one of the most common search terms that leads people to this little website. (Sorry to disappoint you, folks — no cross-stitch patterns to be found here.)

So, um, yeah…I’m gonna go curl up the fetal position and die now. I’ll leave the textual analysis underlying the great “neat/sweetie” literary schism to you guys, k?

If you sprinkle when you tinkle...be a sweetie and wipe the seatie.

If you sprinkle when you tinkle...be a neatie and wipe the seatie!

This one might be a little more home-spun, but I think the urine-colored highlighter and ellipses diarrhea really pushes it over the top:

LADIES, IF YOU SPRINKLE WHEN YOU TINKLE.......PLEASE BE NEAT & WIPE THE SEAT........

If you want your mind completely blown, check out this international variation, from  Jamaica:

If you twinkle when you spinkle please be neat and wipe the seat

And from San Francisco, the po-mo edition:

If you sprinkle when you tinkle...you know what the fuck to do!!! Just because u don't live here that means u too, bro....!!!

related: “Unattended children will be given espresso and a free puppy”

Tags: bathroom · CAPS LOCK · ellipses-crazed · high on highlighter · pure poetry · toilet