PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » high on highlighter

Dear Bad Mood Customer

Kerry — Thu, 03 Feb 2011 01:32:12 +0000

“The Lakeview area doesn’t have the most convenient post office locations, so many people just stop in at this shipping center,” says Zach in Chicago. “This sign is well known in the neighborhood.” (Indeed, I’ve gotten photos of it from at least five different submitters.)

“The lady who served me seemed nice,” says Leigh, “but I guess people aren’t so nice to her.” Meanwhile, Casey, another submitter, says: “the little lady actually picks fights with customers! She charged me astronomical prices for shipping books and when I asked her about it, she started yelling at me.” I guess that’s the convenience charge?

related: Service with a snarl

The neighborhood warning wagon

Kerry — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 22:33:07 +0000

Upon moving into their new college house this fall, Danny and his roommates at Boston College received this delightfully punctuated welcome letter from their next door neighbor — delivered via U.S. Postal Service, no less.

I, for one, can’t wait ’til the Ben Affleck adaptation comes out. We’ll have a “late night beer party” to celebrate!

related: Passive voice abuse

(Don’t Fear) The Creeper

Kerry — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 00:22:15 +0000

I live in an apartment complex where most people know each other and are generally on good terms,” says Jin in California…or so he thought. As it turns out, there’s a pool of bold-underlined-all-caps-highlighted frustration simmering (oh-so-hilariously) just below the surface.

related: be more private with yourself

Don’t blame us

Kerry — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 03:11:16 +0000

Exhibit a) Spotted at a laundromat in Silver Lake by Jessica in Los Angeles…

Exhibit b) From Ronnie’s Diner, also in LA.., by Valerie:

Exhibit c) From Barnacle Bill’s in Sarasota, Florida:

Exhibit d) From, as Miranda explains, ” the local ‘community thrift store’ in Dahlonega, Georgia, where everything is donated, and all the people who work there…are volunteers. Raising the prices to compensate for the volunteers’ efforts? Makes TONS of sense to me!”

But (because the decision had to be made) I would say that this final note — spotted by Rusty at a b&b in Newfoundland — is my absolute favorite.

related: when you can’t blame the dog

Recession incentive plan

Kerry — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 12:49:02 +0000

Writes Katrina in Illinois: “I work in furniture, and due to the economy/the real estate crash, the company has been struggling and a lot of employees have been making a lot less money. This little morale booster was found on the break room bulletin board — right beside the letter notifying us that the company was no longer matching 401(k) contributions.”

related: “That’s what she said”

People got a lotta nerve

Kerry — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 16:18:50 +0000

“One of my coworkers — normally a calm, even-keeled woman — sits near the door of the office,” writes Ali in Minnesota. “When others come in at night to write reports or look up info, they apparently destroy her desk in the matter of minutes. After a series of coffee cups and chair-lowerings, up went this note. Everyone in the office found it so funny they started adding snarling animals to the note. Ferocious!”

While I can understand this woman’s frustration, one thing I’ll never be able to understand is the logic behind highlighting an entire (caps-locked!) message.

related: cubicle etiquette

Seriously?

Kerry — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 15:20:09 +0000

Kait’s roommate in Providence, R.I. was already pissed that the animal house next door was throwing a party on a Tuesday night before a big exam, but it was the shitty pop-rock that really pushed her over the edge. And like so many other college-aged females, “over the edge” means…colored markers.

Adds Kait: “It didn’t stop the noise, but we did get a [sadly undocumented] written response: “Come by if your [sic] fit and into doggie.”

related: Do that to me one more time

Sigh-ned

Kerry — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 01:00:59 +0000

Our anonymous submitter in Cleveland found this note taped to the office paper shredder. “My first thought was, ‘Wow, this person has issues deeper than the full shredder.’”

related: Especially Deborah

The rhyme that must be flushed

Kerry — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 19:29:24 +0000

Apparently, sayeth google analytics, the oh-so-clever phrase “if you sprinkle when you tinkle” is one of the most common search terms that leads people to this little website. (Sorry to disappoint you, folks — no cross-stitch patterns to be found here.)

So, um, yeah…I’m gonna go curl up the fetal position and die now. I’ll leave the textual analysis underlying the great “neat/sweetie” literary schism to you guys, k?

This one might be a little more home-spun, but I think the urine-colored highlighter and ellipses diarrhea really pushes it over the top:

If you want your mind completely blown, check out this international variation, from Jamaica:

And from San Francisco, the po-mo edition:

Sincerely, disappointed

Kerry — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 04:04:01 +0000

Our anonymous submitter says this display is just one of many microwave missives his coworker has created. “Someone tore it down and threw it on the floor once,” he says, “but she put it back up, laminated with heavy-duty tape.”

And of course, the art-imitating-life inspiration for this post: Pam Beesly.

related: To each his own microwave

extra credit: The Office: “Frame Toby”

A “discussion” on shoes

Kerry — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 14:53:25 +0000

My favorite part of this two-page glory? The flash of insight on page 2: “I realize that last sentence is phrased as a question, but really it is more of a statement.”

related: care, it makes a difference

As Davy Crockett once said…

Kerry — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 01:00:08 +0000

I recently returned from a few days in San Antonio, Texas, where my friend Matt and I amused ourselves on the Riverwalk with a competition to find the tackiest souvenir possible in each store within three minutes or less. (My first win: a “pooping armadillo” keychain.) When we entered this fine establishment, however, I had to call a time-out.

I didn’t even get a chance to take photos of all the signs at this one store — including some amazing ones taped to the register — before I started getting the stink-eye from the manager. (I generally try to stay out of trouble in states that allow their teachers to come to class armed.) I’m telling you, Alamo, Schmalamo: this store was the highlight of my trip.

French roast black, with a dash of deference

Kerry — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 22:20:28 +0000

Despite the logo on this breakroom note, Nikki in Fresno doesn’t work at Starbucks. (She just wishes she does.)

related: Be curtius

Especially religion

Kerry — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 02:05:38 +0000

Just so you Noe Valley-ites don’t feel like you’ve cornered the self-righteous yuppie market…I spotted this last week on my very own block in Park Slope, Brooklyn.

related: the thoughts that count
extra credit: “a different sort of neighborhood watch” [brownstoner.com]
“Brooklyn neighbors & passive-aggressive notes” [daftcrafts.com]