Entries Tagged as 'Christmas'

Enjoy the holidays (without me)

December 27th, 2012 · 29 Comments

While at his parents’ house in Indiana for Christmas, Jay says his mother passed this card around to everyone, saying, “Can you believe this?!” The awkward part: Terry (not that Terry) is their next-door neighbor.

Sorry we have lost touch- I guess I have to accept you not wanting to be friends anyomore. Enjoy the holidays-  Janet and Lee, Wishing you jolly holidays and a great new year! Have a wonderful season and all the best in the New Year.  -Terry

related: Happy Holidays! So glad we’re not together!

 

Tags: Christmas · holiday spirit · Indiana · neighbors

This year’s round of holiday decor-nappings

December 22nd, 2012 · 26 Comments

So far this  year, we’ve gotten no missing Baby Jesus reports. (Yet.) However, it looks like it’s still hard out there for a giant candy cane.

Just ask Anderson in Huntsville, Alabama:

Mommy Deer wants her babies back!

Gina in New Philadelphia, Ohio:

To the person who took my Christmas wreath...you can have the tree too! You must need it more than I do! Merry Christmas! Danny's Grill

The Bishop Family in Genoa, Nebraska:

This is for the 3 little PUNKS In the silver Chevy truck with 10 county Plates That stole our decorations THANKS!!! Our Grandkids REALLY appreciate it. MERRY CHRISTMAS! BY THE WAY YOU DROPPED THESE

or David in Florence, South Carolina:

To whoever stole (or is planning to steal) our Christmas lights

The missing strand of lights, as well as the ones remaining on our porch, were rubbed through each of our unkempt butt-cheeks during a game of

related: The circle of Hell Dante forget to mention

Tags: Christmas · holiday spirit · stealing · vandalism

The Griswold Family Fine Print

December 17th, 2012 · 70 Comments

While admiring the neighborhood’s holiday decorations with his family, our submitter in Denver came across this “bokeh of Christmas joy.”

Dr. Griswold & Mr. Grinch

Noticing a folder of photocopied flyers labeled “please take one,” our submitter did so, and while his daughter stared in awe at the abundance of LED-powered holiday cheer, he gawped at the Grinch-like screed that accompanied it.

PLEASE STAY OFF MY DAMN FENCE. I am Tired of people breaking it and not having the decency to come and tell me, and maybe pay for it. Instead they sneak off like damn thief(s) in the nite. I put up decorations so you can enjoy them, not destroy my property. I realize 98% of the people are good and just enjoy the decorations. The other 2% are obviously a__h___s. Stay away, no one is making you come. You damn well weren't invited, so stay the hell home!! Or have manners!

related: Merry Christmas…with an emphasis on the “meh”

extra credit: How much does it cost to decorate your house with Christmas lights? [boingboing.net]

Tags: Christmas · Denver · holiday spirit · neighbors · pointlessly self-censored profanity · vandalism

And that’s why they call me the Nutcracker

December 5th, 2012 · 28 Comments

Hannah spotted this bit of holiday cheer at the Southern Christmas Show in Charlotte, North Carolina. While the other vendors were busy handing out free samples and entertaining kids, this fellow was “keepin’ it Southern.”

The next time someone pulls OFF by bugle... I'm replacing it with a shotgun!

related: Merry Terry says enjoy this tree!

Tags: Christmas · holiday spirit · North Carolina

A little less “Deck the Halls,” a little more “Silent Night”?

March 28th, 2012 · 55 Comments

Next up: Monster Mash.

Dear Neighbors, Someone in this building LOVES Christmas music. If that person could PLEASE remember that not everyone has the same bizare [sic] taste in music, and that peole around them can hear it VERY CLEARLY, and do not appreciate being FORCED to listen to

related: Christmas Creep

Tags: Christmas · most popular notes of 2012 · music · neighbors

Thanks for throwing me under the sleigh, kids

December 26th, 2011 · 23 Comments

Writes Kristie in Tacoma, Washington: “My kids totally threw me under the bus in order to cover their tails for Santa.”

Dear Santa, I'm sorry there are no cookies. Well my mom didn't want to make any cookies for you. She said that you were on a diet this year. Please don't eat the gingerbread house. Well to have a back up plan for the cookies me and Griffin put out all of are [sic] candy we have. We even put out celery and carrots for Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, and Rudolph. Well I hope you enjoy the candy and milk. Merry Christmas Santa I will always believe in you. You are very awesome. Sincerely, Natalie, and Griffin

related: Dear Santa, I was wondering you whipped your reindeer.

Tags: Christmas · family · kids

Mad Santa

December 23rd, 2011 · 27 Comments

Writes Mimi in Toronto: “Me being 17 and my brother being 19, we weren’t particularly interested in doing the whole ‘leave Santa provisions’ charade on Christmas Eve. Our mother took offense to our lack of Christmas spirit, and we awoke the next morning to this note, along with some half eaten cookies and carrots.”

Dear Mimi and Ben, What the fuck?! No cookies, drink and carrots for Santa and his reindeer?! What kind of hospitality is that?! Sheesh. Love, Santa P.S. I helped myself thankyouverymuch

related: All I want for Christmas

Tags: Christmas · family · Toronto

Thank You, Merry Terry!

December 19th, 2011 · 24 Comments

It’s a PAN miracle! After reaching a hilltop on a holiday hike, Mary in Phoenix found this decorated desert tree.

A gift from Merry Terry of Phoenix

Upon closer inspection, Mary noticed this (only slightly cranky) message from “Merry Terry.”

Merry Terry says enjoy this tree. I expect some help next year.

Altogether now, everyone…

related: Thank You Terry!

Tags: Christmas · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · holiday spirit · Phoenix · WTF?

In the spirit of the holidays…enjoy the pipe bomb!

December 16th, 2011 · 36 Comments

My friend Amy and her husband recently had a UPS package stolen from their front porch. Thanks to the wonders of a home security camera, they were able to see that the thieves were actually their next-door neighbors. After a few rounds of “WHAT? WHO DOES THAT? REALLY?” they called the cops and had the fools arrested. (Score: Technology – 1; Humanity – 0.)

Meanwhile, the residents under siege at this Denver apartment building seem to be taking the vigilante approach to justice. Somehow, unless Batman shows up, I just don’t see this ending well.

Dear Grinch Stealing Packages from His and/or Her Neighbors, In the Spirit of the Holidays, I am choosing to let you know that I have sent myself (and a cooperating neighbor on another floor, from whom you have also stolen) one or more extra special presents, JUST FOR YOU! I really hope that you like them! I spent a lot of time and care on them as I wanted to make sure you know just how special you are to me!

related: Creative approaches to food thievery

Tags: Christmas · Denver · holiday spirit · kinda creepy · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · stealing

Christmas lights manufactured by a particularly hardcore Elf on the Shelf

December 13th, 2011 · 48 Comments

Angela and her father were poking around the local dollar store in Metuchen, New Jersey when we they came across these boxes of Christmas lights.

“We originally thought these vaguely ominous messages were meant to harken back to the ‘true spirit of Christmas’ but these threats don’t exactly engender goodwill toward men,” Angela says. “I don’t know for whom these vaguely ominous messages are really intended, but s/he must have seriously pissed off the manufacturer.”

PEOPLE ARE WRONG TO FOCUS NARROWLY ON THEMSELVES

PEOPLE ARE WRONG TO FOCUS NARROWLY ON THEMSELVES

IF YOU SACRIFICE OTHERS FOR YOURSELF, YOU WILL SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES.

 IF YOU SACRIFICE OTHERS FOR YOURSELF, YOU WILL SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES.

related: Subliminal self-esteem killers

extra credit: Evil Elf on the Shelf

Tags: Christmas · most popular notes of 2011 · New Jersey · WTF?