Entries Tagged as 'Christmas'

Mad Santa

December 23rd, 2011 · 27 Comments

Writes Mimi in Toronto: “Me being 17 and my brother being 19, we weren’t particularly interested in doing the whole ‘leave Santa provisions’ charade on Christmas Eve. Our mother took offense to our lack of Christmas spirit, and we awoke the next morning to this note, along with some half eaten cookies and carrots.”

Dear Mimi and Ben, What the fuck?! No cookies, drink and carrots for Santa and his reindeer?! What kind of hospitality is that?! Sheesh. Love, Santa P.S. I helped myself thankyouverymuch

related: All I want for Christmas

Tags: Christmas · family · Toronto

Thank You, Merry Terry!

December 19th, 2011 · 24 Comments

It’s a PAN miracle! After reaching a hilltop on a holiday hike, Mary in Phoenix found this decorated desert tree.

A gift from Merry Terry of Phoenix

Upon closer inspection, Mary noticed this (only slightly cranky) message from “Merry Terry.”

Merry Terry says enjoy this tree. I expect some help next year.

Altogether now, everyone…

related: Thank You Terry!

Tags: Christmas · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · holiday spirit · Phoenix · WTF?

In the spirit of the holidays…enjoy the pipe bomb!

December 16th, 2011 · 36 Comments

My friend Amy and her husband recently had a UPS package stolen from their front porch. Thanks to the wonders of a home security camera, they were able to see that the thieves were actually their next-door neighbors. After a few rounds of “WHAT? WHO DOES THAT? REALLY?” they called the cops and had the fools arrested. (Score: Technology – 1; Humanity – 0.)

Meanwhile, the residents under siege at this Denver apartment building seem to be taking the vigilante approach to justice. Somehow, unless Batman shows up, I just don’t see this ending well.

Dear Grinch Stealing Packages from His and/or Her Neighbors, In the Spirit of the Holidays, I am choosing to let you know that I have sent myself (and a cooperating neighbor on another floor, from whom you have also stolen) one or more extra special presents, JUST FOR YOU! I really hope that you like them! I spent a lot of time and care on them as I wanted to make sure you know just how special you are to me!

related: Creative approaches to food thievery

Tags: Christmas · Denver · holiday spirit · kinda creepy · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · stealing

Christmas lights manufactured by a particularly hardcore Elf on the Shelf

December 13th, 2011 · 48 Comments

Angela and her father were poking around the local dollar store in Metuchen, New Jersey when we they came across these boxes of Christmas lights.

“We originally thought these vaguely ominous messages were meant to harken back to the ‘true spirit of Christmas’ but these threats don’t exactly engender goodwill toward men,” Angela says. “I don’t know for whom these vaguely ominous messages are really intended, but s/he must have seriously pissed off the manufacturer.”

PEOPLE ARE WRONG TO FOCUS NARROWLY ON THEMSELVES

PEOPLE ARE WRONG TO FOCUS NARROWLY ON THEMSELVES

IF YOU SACRIFICE OTHERS FOR YOURSELF, YOU WILL SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES.

 IF YOU SACRIFICE OTHERS FOR YOURSELF, YOU WILL SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES.

related: Subliminal self-esteem killers

extra credit: Evil Elf on the Shelf

Tags: Christmas · most popular notes of 2011 · New Jersey · WTF?

Merry Christmas…with an emphasis on the “meh”

December 11th, 2011 · 43 Comments

In Joe’s Tuscaloosa neighborhood, a lot of folks go all-out with their Christmas decorations. While driving around the other night admiring the various Griswold-style scenes, Joe was especially amused to stumble upon this outlier.

MEH

Perhaps they took inspiration from the house below on the right?

<---- DITTO

related: Providing a “friendly holiday spirit”

Tags: Alabama · Christmas · most popular notes of 2011 · smartass

Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion

December 5th, 2011 · 45 Comments

Welcome to the set of Mean Girls: Orlando!

The initial note:

This apartment needs Christmas spirit! Let me know if you want to chip in so we can get decorations! —Steph

And the response…

This apartment needs cleaning spirit! Let me know if you want to help out a[nd] clean up your mess! —Angel

related:  Oh sweetie, I love it when you talk dirty!

Tags: Christmas · cleaning · holiday spirit · nice stationery · Orlando · roommates · sarcasm

Bad luck you

June 7th, 2011 · 150 Comments

“My parents have a large front yard,” writes David in Georgia, “and up until a few years ago, it had about 40 trees in it.” Unfortunately, an arborist informed David’s parents that those trees, while they looked normal enough, had become infested and essentially hollowed-out by insects, killing the trees and turning them into a pretty big safety risk in the case of a storm. At the arborist’s recommendation — and I’m sure, at all no small expense — David’s parents had the trees removed.

Fast forward a few months to December, when the family put up their usual holiday decorations — little trees made of Christmas lights — throughout the front yard. Soon after, David says, the family received two items of interest in their mailbox:

1. A certificate of recognition from the Arbor Day Foundation, “thanking us for our efforts to prevent further tree deaths”
2. This handmade holiday card.

Wishing you...

5 years' bad luck for each tree you killed....And if that wasn't bad enough, you have the nerve to make tacky 'trees' out of lights and call it holiday cheer. What's wrong with you? Sadly but sincerely, Your neighbors on Henderson Road

Adds David: “This person obviously put a lot of work into carefully drawing and writing it; the artwork and penmanship are immaculate. If only they’d put as much effort into asking us why we were having the trees removed.”

related: All together now…please don’t climb the tree!

Tags: Christmas · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · Georgia · holiday spirit · neighbors · Oops?

Area woman shocked by discovery: “service employees have families too?”

December 29th, 2010 · 89 Comments

“We are normally a 24-hour store,” writes our submitter in Portland, Oregon, “but we close early for Christmas.” At least one customer found this policy to be most unsatisfactory — as evidenced by the holiday greeting she left behind.

December 24, 2009. Portland, Oregon, USA. [store name] about 9 pm. I came by to purchase a birthday card, your store was closed. Sign says open Xmas eve 24 hrs. How kind of your company to give you all the day off =)

related: In case you’re wondering why we’re closed

Tags: Christmas · Portland · retail hell · smiley