Entries Tagged as 'Christmas'
So, I’ve been thinking about it (!) but I’m still not entirely clear about what type of eternal damnation Christmas-ornament thieves should supposedly be condemned. Perhaps some sort of Sisyphean untangling of Christmas lights?
One thing seems certain, however: no matter what your belief system, some type of divine retribution is in order.
Thanks to Wade in D.C., Jack in Santa Monica, and Emma in L.A. for their submissions!
related: Imagine…Christmas morning…You!!
Tags: Christmas · karma's a bitch · stealing · the po-po · you're like so going to hell
Says our submitter in Las Vegas: “My mom found this — my brother’s Christmas shopping list — while cleaning up the house before company came over. (Sandra is my sister-in-law.)”
Poor Sandra. She doesn’t even warrant a regifted Mongolia[n] BBQ hat from the office potluck?
related: Stuff this in your stocking, sister.
Tags: Christmas · family · WTF?
Halloween was just a prelude, really —it’s Christmas that brings the real bounty of guilt-trip opportunities, often with a bonus side helping of irony.
To wit: Jaime in Canada says his neighbor (okay, “neighbour”) went totally Clark Griswold with his Christmas decorating this year, creating a sparkling extravaganza that is, Jaime says, “quite the treat for the eyes.”
But the best part of the display might be what stands in front of Santa and his team of reindeer — an ellipses-and-exclamation-fueled cautionary tale about the true meaning of Christmas…consumerism!!! (Take that, Tiny Tim!)
related: Who stole and vandalized a candy cane? Who stole the baby Jesus??
Tags: Canada · Christmas · ellipses-crazed · exclamation-point happy!!!! · guilt trip · holiday spirit · neighbors · stealing · Won't somebody think of the children? · you're like so going to hell
Our submitter, a bartender in D.C., might not be the world’s biggest Mariah Carey fan, but when a group of customers put “All I Want for Christmas is You,” on the jukebox last Saturday night, he didn’t complain. But when the same group queued the song up again — three times in a row — he invoked his bartender’s privilege and skipped it. After all, he says, “It was DECEMBER 4th. I gave them their money back, but they still kept calling me ‘Grinch.’”
I have to step in here and note that, yes, that song is like crack — once you’re hooked, one hit is never enough. But that’s when you go home and spend the 99 cents to download it so you can indulge your addiction on endless repeat without coughing up a quarter every time. However, money management not being the forte of most addicts, at the end of the night the holiday-happy patrons left behind this oh-so-classy note in lieu of a tip.
That very same weekend, meanwhile, Amy noticed that the bartender at one of her local haunts in Murrysville, Pennsylvania has taken a proactive approach to this particular problem. “Normally a super friendly place, I was sooo tempted to play ‘Don’t Stop Believin’ just to see what they would do.” (Instead, she held on to that feeling — privately — and took a picture.)
related: “You Can Call Me Arse”: A review of last night’s performance
extra credit: Jukebox Etiquette 101
Tags: a matter of taste · bar · Christmas · D.C. · heart · holiday spirit · music · non-apology apology · Pennsylvania · tipping · xoxo
While helping her dad clean out her grandmother’s old apartment, Amanda says she found this incredible “love note” tucked in a bottom drawer. “All my dad could say was, ‘Well, romance wasn’t always your grandfather’s strong suit.’”
related: I don’t want to hear another damn word about flowers.
Tags: Christmas · holiday spirit · love & marriage · old folks · smoking
If you needed another reason why mixing friends and money usually ends up badly, here’s five of them.
(And to the letter-writer: I think I’ve got a great “hassle-free” New Year’s resolution idea for you!)
(Thanks to Kristen in Leesburg, Virginia for forwarding!)
related: Two birds with one snowman
Tags: "polite notice" · Christmas · e-mail · holiday spirit · money
Sara says her sister in Waxhaw, North Carolina stumbled upon this personal inscription at a rummage sale of donated books.
Here’s a synopsis: Basically, our writer Robert starts out by giving himself a gold star for selecting such an “interesting” Christmas gift, then lets Leah down easy with the old “God told me I could do better” excuse, and finally peaces out with “So…see ya on christiansingles.com!”
Why Leah would want to part with such a precious gem, I have no idea.
related: The “Next to Marry” List
Tags: breakup · Christmas · God · holiday spirit · most popular notes of 2010
It all started when Erin in Toronto sent her uncle a Christmas card. Actually, scratch that — it all started three years ago, at Erin’s wedding, the last time Erin actually saw her uncle in person.
Before the wedding, Erin explains, “Linda (my uncle’s girlfriend) RSVP’d that she’d attend, and then then didn’t bother to show up, meaning we had to pay for her meal anyway.” (Not that she’s bitter about that or anything!) “Since then,” Erin says, “I assumed they had broken up and have addressed the annual Christmas card to just my uncle and cousin.”
Now, while that might sound a bit hasty (or even, dare I say…passive-aggressive), in Erin’s defense, the Christmas cards she received were only signed by her uncle and cousin — this year’s included. And yet, in what appears to be a last-minute back-of-the-envelope calculation, “Linda chose this year to remind me that she was still kicking around,” Erin says.
On the flip side of things, receiving mail addressed to one’s ex can be a disturbing experience as well. I’d say this intercepted message speaks for itself.
related: There are NO pre-paid legal executives (OR FEMALES!) living here!
Tags: Christmas · ex drama · family · going postal · Oops? · Texas · Toronto · weddings and bridezillas
Grandmothers live for thank you notes — receiving them, writing them, not-so-subtly inquiring whether one might be forthcoming.
Jennifer in Michigan received this gracious note of thanks after a Christmas visit to her Grandma. Cue the violins, please…
(If you can’t read Grandma cursive, just mouse over the note for a transcription.)
related: Really, Mom, you shouldn’t have
Tags: Christmas · family · Grandma · guilt trip · Michigan · thanks (but not really)
It’s almost Valentine’s day, and yet the Christmas guilt trips keep rolling in! Savanna in Texas says her friend received this doozy of a card from her parents (the front of which said, “Joy to the World.”)
related: Waiting for the Rapture (and/or a thank you note)
Tags: Christmas · holiday spirit · Moms & Dads · WTF?