Entries Tagged as 'Christmas'

As the holidays approach…you’d better guard your kneecaps

November 29th, 2010 · 140 Comments

If you needed another reason why mixing friends and money usually ends up badly, here’s five of them.

(And to the letter-writer: I think I’ve got a great “hassle-free” New Year’s resolution idea for you!)

Dear Friends, With the holidays approaching (Chanukah on Dec. 1, and Xmas a few weeks later), there is no time like the present for

(Thanks to Kristen in Leesburg, Virginia for forwarding!)

related: Two birds with one snowman

Tags: "polite notice" · Christmas · e-mail · holiday spirit · money

Merry Christmas! God told me to dump you.

October 10th, 2010 · 69 Comments

Sara says her sister in Waxhaw, North Carolina stumbled upon this personal inscription at a rummage sale of donated books.

Here’s a synopsis: Basically, our writer Robert starts out by giving himself a gold star for selecting such an “interesting” Christmas gift, then lets Leah down easy with the old “God told me I could do better” excuse, and finally peaces out with “So…see ya on christianmingle.com!”

Why Leah would want to part with such a precious gem, I have no idea.

Dear Leah, This is a very interesting Christmas present! I hope you like it! I have prayed about us since our first date.  I think we should be friends and I hope that is the same the Lord told you. Our search for our life's companion [sic] continues...Robert

Dear Leah, This is a very interesting Christmas present! I hope you like it! I have prayed about us since our first date.  I think we should be friends and I hope that is the same the Lord told you. Our search for our life's companion [sic] continues...Robert

related: The “Next to Marry” List

Tags: breakup · Christmas · God · holiday spirit · most popular notes of 2010

Exes and Ohs

July 29th, 2010 · 111 Comments

It all started when Erin in Toronto sent her uncle a Christmas card. Actually, scratch that — it all started three years ago, at Erin’s wedding, the last time Erin actually saw her uncle in person.

Before the wedding, Erin explains, “Linda (my uncle’s girlfriend) RSVP’d that she’d attend, and then then didn’t bother to show up, meaning we had to pay for her meal anyway.” (Not that she’s bitter about that or anything!) “Since then,” Erin says, “I assumed they had broken up and have addressed the annual Christmas card to just my uncle and cousin.”

Now, while that might sound a bit hasty (or even, dare I say…passive-aggressive),  in Erin’s defense, the Christmas cards she received were only signed by her uncle and cousin — this year’s included. And yet, in what appears to be a last-minute back-of-the-envelope calculation, “Linda chose this year to remind me that she was still kicking around,” Erin says.

Hi Erin! In case you weren't aware I live here as well (13 years). Thanks! Linda

On the flip side of things, receiving mail addressed to one’s ex can be a disturbing experience as well. I’d say this intercepted message speaks for itself.

Nancy cheated on her husband while he was deployed to Iraq and no longer lives at this address. Return to sender.

related: There are NO pre-paid legal executives (OR FEMALES!) living here!

Tags: Christmas · ex drama · family · going postal · Oops? · Texas · Toronto · weddings and bridezillas

And you wonder why we don’t visit more often…

March 8th, 2010 · 63 Comments

Grandmothers live for thank you notes — receiving them, writing them, not-so-subtly inquiring whether one might be forthcoming.

Jennifer in Michigan received this gracious note of thanks after a Christmas visit to her Grandma. Cue the violins, please…

C & J - Thank you so much for the jam and fattening nuts - Which I like - Always nice to see you ONCE A YEAR. My gosh C is still so handsome - Guess we don't see you enough to have anything to visit about.   Love Always Your Grandma

(If you can’t read Grandma cursive, just mouse over the note for a transcription.)

related: Really, Mom, you shouldn’t have

Tags: Christmas · family · Grandma · guilt trip · Michigan · thanks (but not really)

They need time to clean up the meth lab in the garage, after all.

February 4th, 2010 · 59 Comments

It’s almost Valentine’s day, and yet the Christmas guilt trips keep rolling in! Savanna in Texas says her friend received this doozy of a card from her parents (the front of which said, “Joy to the World.”)

Come see us — and don't surprise us — warn us — but come! Soon before we die.

related: Waiting for the Rapture (and/or a thank you note)

Tags: Christmas · holiday spirit · Moms & Dads · WTF?

The happiest place on Earth

January 20th, 2010 · 141 Comments

Josh (formerly of Abbotsford, B.C.) received this doozy of a postcard from his ex, completely out of the blue. “Apparently she wanted to let me know, after more than two years of separation and one year since the divorce was final, that she was really happy we’re not together,” Josh says.

(I’m gonna guess the feeling is mutual.)

Happy Holidays! So glad we're not together.

Adds Josh: “I too wondered why there was no postage mark from California, where the post card was supposedly mailed from. My ex lives in Olympia, Washington, so my guess is between Washington and B.C. there’s a lot of forgiveness.”

related: to have and to hold

Tags: Canada · Christmas · ex drama · heartwarming compassion · holiday spirit

Mad, but not mad enough to forego a French braid

January 17th, 2010 · 45 Comments

Claire and her mom found this relic of childhood while going through a filing cabinet over Christmas. “Neither of us know what prompted it,” Claire says, “though apparently I was mad enough about something to write her this note, but not mad enough to go to bed without her telling me goodnight. Boy, was I one passive-aggressive 11-year-old!”

Dear Mom, I want to inform you that I am not feeling like I want to talk to you so please just say goodnite then remember I will be up early so you can do my hair. Sincerly, Claire

related: I’ll have you know


Tags: Christmas · Houston · kids · Moms & Dads · Mother-daughter notes

Right, He just went round the corner for a quick nip.

December 25th, 2009 · 50 Comments

Writes Sara in Cardiff, Wales: “Around this time last year, I noticed that the Jesus had been stolen from this city centre church’s nativity scene. The church is surrounded by pubs and, as it can get quite messy in Cardiff on the weekend, it’s no surprise Jesus went AWOL. About a week later, the note was still up, and someone had replaced ‘Jesus’ with an old naked ragdoll.”

DESPITE HIS ENEMIES, JESUS WILL BE COMING BACK SOON

(And can I just repeat how much I love this Wikipedia entry? It’s the Christmas gift that keeps on giving.)

related: What if someone like you had stolen Baby Jesus’s Lean Cuisine?

extra credit: Someone stole Baby Jesus

Tags: CAPS LOCK · Christmas · holiday spirit · Jesus · Wales

Merry Christmas to one and all (except you)

December 23rd, 2009 · 62 Comments

So, has holiday time with the fam driven you to the bottle yet? Before you head out to happy hour, just remember that Christmas is no excuse for pub owners to mince words.

Just ask Finlay in Edinburgh, Scotland…

CHRISTMAS DAY Usual rules apply. Private function. Friends, family, & regulars only. "Merry Christmas to one and all" Sparky

Or Ross in Wellington, New Zealand…

Due to Udit being a douche the Cavern Club Christmas party has been cancelled.

And for the rest of us…Happy Festivus, Troublemakers! May your airing of grievances be merrily aggressive-aggressive.

related: we will be happy to service your hangover on January 1

Tags: Christmas · holiday spirit · New Zealand · Scotland

Stuff this in your stocking, sister.

December 20th, 2009 · 131 Comments

Gift-giving is what makes Christmas the passive-aggressive’s favorite time of year. It’s a priceless opportunity to show your friends and family how you really feel about them…with a bow on top!

These notecards are for writing nice notes to your sisters

A gift of organization for your un-organized soul

related: putting the “x” in “x-mas”

Tags: Christmas · family · holiday spirit