Explains David in California: “Because of an ant problem, Julia can’t keep her candy in her room.” Thus…

related: There’s stealing candy from children, and then there’s…this.

Well then.

related: NO CANDY GO AWAY!

Well, it’s that time of year again…time for heartless hooligans to smash pumpkins (and with them, the hearts of small, gourd-loving children).

David in California spotted this sign next to a small field of corn and pumpkins located next to a popular public jogging trail.

related: It’s hard out there for a pumpkin.

So, which house do you think is the most likely to get egged by angry trick-or-treaters?

Exhibit a) From Chester Springs, Pennsylvania:

Exhibit b)

Exhibit c)

Exhibit d) From Jackson, Mississippi:

Exhibit e) Spotted by Greg in Escondido, California:

Exhibit f) Spotted by Tyree in Oakridge, Oregon

related: Some advice for would-be pumpkin smashers

Well, Dad? What have you got to say for yourself?

(Thanks to Katie in Kansas City for submitting!)

related: Why didn’t you tell me the tooth fairy wasn’t real?

Halloween: smashing children’s dreams, one pumpkin at a time. (Sigh)

(Spotted by Toby in the U.K.)

related: Another four-year-old gets wise to the cruel, cruel world we live in

In Ohio, one household tries the proactive approach to preventing Halloween thuggery:

(We’ll have to wait to hear back from our submitter Darcy to see if it worked.)

related: Jerk-o-lanterns

With Halloween upon us, it’s not just uprooted flowers that are breaking the hearts of 4-year-olds around the world. Now entire families (of pumpkins) are being destroyed!

Once again, this compulsive over-sharing seems to be a uniquely American phenomenon. As Archie in Brighton witnessed, the Brits manage to get straight to the bloody point.

related: People suck. (A valuable lesson for any four-year-old)

Chris in Valdosta, Georgia came home last Halloween Eve to find this friendly reminder taped to every mailbox in his quiet little cul-de-sac. (“It’s a little worse for wear,” Chris explains, “because I ripped it off and stomped it on a few times before scanning it.”)

The underlying message, interestingly enough, actually isn’t all that different from this one, by an unhappy Halloween celebrant in Somersworth, New Hampshire.

Meanwhile, Jake in Grand Rapids, Michigan came home last Halloween to this glowing display in his living room. “Apparently my roommate and his girlfriend had spent all day working on them,” Jake says. “I don’t think he was mad at me for any one particular thing, but he did this sort of thing on a fairly regular basis…which made living with him pretty entertaining.”

related: Pumpkin with a death wish

Spotted by Lange from Cambridge, Massachusetts while campaigning for Obama in New Hampshire. Says Lange: “We decided against bugging them with our political spiel. (We assumed they were Obama supporters anyway.)”

Meanwhile, corporate belt-tightening isn’t going over so well with the office grunts this Halloween. “This was the response to the environment/holiday committee’s lack of Halloween candy in the office after already ‘decorating’ the office with empty candy containers,” says our submitter in Los Angeles.

In Oakridge, Oregon, however — as our submitter Tyree noticed — they don’t go in much for subtlety.

related: Pumpkin with a death wish