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Entries Tagged as 'holiday spirit'

And that’s why they call me the Nutcracker

December 5th, 2012 · 28 Comments

Hannah spotted this bit of holiday cheer at the Southern Christmas Show in Charlotte, North Carolina. While the other vendors were busy handing out free samples and entertaining kids, this fellow was “keepin’ it Southern.”

The next time someone pulls OFF by bugle... I'm replacing it with a shotgun!

related: Merry Terry says enjoy this tree!

Tags: Christmas · holiday spirit · North Carolina

No treats, no tricks, just boos.

October 31st, 2012 · 120 Comments

So, which house do you think is the most likely to get egged by angry trick-or-treaters?

Exhibit a) From Chester Springs, Pennsylvania:

HUNGOVER. If you ring the doorbell, I will piss in your plastic pumpkin.

Exhibit b)

NO CANDY JUST SWINE FLU (It's worse than no candy.)

Exhibit c)


Exhibit d) From Jackson, Mississippi:

Warning! No candy! All Trick-or-Treaters will be attacked by Evil Clown!

Exhibit e) Spotted by Greg in Escondido, California:


Exhibit f) Spotted by Tyree in Oakridge, Oregon

No Candy go Away

related: Some advice for would-be pumpkin smashers

Tags: candy · go away · Halloween

The Parent Tax

July 30th, 2012 · 99 Comments

Well, Dad? What have you got to say for yourself?

Dear Daddy, Last night (4/24/12)I was looking for your hole puncher. (for mamas mothers day presant. I didn't find it. I looked inside in hopes to find the hole puncher. Instead I found my Halloween candy. I know it was Halloween because of the stickers inside of it. When (last year after Halloween) I asked you were it was you said "Oh, that's long gone by now." So you lied to my face. Also, now I'm strongly suspicious that for consecutive years you have been stealing our candy. I really want my candy back. It is rightfully mine. So I think you should give it back. Your Daughter, Callie

(Thanks to Katie in Kansas City for submitting!)

related: Why didn’t you tell me the tooth fairy wasn’t real?

Tags: candy · Halloween · kids · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2012

A little less “Deck the Halls,” a little more “Silent Night”?

March 28th, 2012 · 55 Comments

Next up: Monster Mash.

Dear Neighbors, Someone in this building LOVES Christmas music. If that person could PLEASE remember that not everyone has the same bizare [sic] taste in music, and that peole around them can hear it VERY CLEARLY, and do not appreciate being FORCED to listen to

related: Christmas Creep

Tags: Christmas · most popular notes of 2012 · music · neighbors

Happy Valentine’s Day, Airhead

February 15th, 2012 · 70 Comments

Writes Sarah in Oregon: “My son was required to give a Valentine to every student in his class, whether they were a friend or not. I found this one among the pile. Obviously, Megan isn’t a friend.” (But maybe his super-mega-crush?)

To: Megan From: Jacob. What's your problem?!

related: What a heartbreaker

Tags: kids · Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine’s Day!

February 14th, 2012 · 52 Comments

xoxo, PAN

Happy Valentine's Day! Your morning sex woke me up. Keep it down, or I will continue to let all your neighbors know you're a groaner in bed. With love, your neighbour

related: Valentine’s Day break-up heartbreak

Tags: Calgary · heart · neighbors · sex sex sex · signed with love · Valentine's Day · xoxo

Thanks for throwing me under the sleigh, kids

December 26th, 2011 · 23 Comments

Writes Kristie in Tacoma, Washington: “My kids totally threw me under the bus in order to cover their tails for Santa.”

Dear Santa, I'm sorry there are no cookies. Well my mom didn't want to make any cookies for you. She said that you were on a diet this year. Please don't eat the gingerbread house. Well to have a back up plan for the cookies me and Griffin put out all of are [sic] candy we have. We even put out celery and carrots for Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, and Rudolph. Well I hope you enjoy the candy and milk. Merry Christmas Santa I will always believe in you. You are very awesome. Sincerely, Natalie, and Griffin

related: Dear Santa, I was wondering you whipped your reindeer.

Tags: Christmas · family · kids

Mad Santa

December 23rd, 2011 · 27 Comments

Writes Mimi in Toronto: “Me being 17 and my brother being 19, we weren’t particularly interested in doing the whole ‘leave Santa provisions’ charade on Christmas Eve. Our mother took offense to our lack of Christmas spirit, and we awoke the next morning to this note, along with some half eaten cookies and carrots.”

Dear Mimi and Ben, What the fuck?! No cookies, drink and carrots for Santa and his reindeer?! What kind of hospitality is that?! Sheesh. Love, Santa P.S. I helped myself thankyouverymuch

related: All I want for Christmas

Tags: Christmas · family · Toronto

Thank You, Merry Terry!

December 19th, 2011 · 24 Comments

It’s a PAN miracle! After reaching a hilltop on a holiday hike, Mary in Phoenix found this decorated desert tree.

A gift from Merry Terry of Phoenix

Upon closer inspection, Mary noticed this (only slightly cranky) message from “Merry Terry.”

Merry Terry says enjoy this tree. I expect some help next year.

Altogether now, everyone…

related: Thank You Terry!

Tags: Christmas · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · holiday spirit · Phoenix · WTF?

In the spirit of the holidays…enjoy the pipe bomb!

December 16th, 2011 · 36 Comments

My friend Amy and her husband recently had a UPS package stolen from their front porch. Thanks to the wonders of a home security camera, they were able to see that the thieves were actually their next-door neighbors. After a few rounds of “WHAT? WHO DOES THAT? REALLY?” they called the cops and had the fools arrested. (Score: Technology – 1; Humanity – 0.)

Meanwhile, the residents under siege at this Denver apartment building seem to be taking the vigilante approach to justice. Somehow, unless Batman shows up, I just don’t see this ending well.

Dear Grinch Stealing Packages from His and/or Her Neighbors, In the Spirit of the Holidays, I am choosing to let you know that I have sent myself (and a cooperating neighbor on another floor, from whom you have also stolen) one or more extra special presents, JUST FOR YOU! I really hope that you like them! I spent a lot of time and care on them as I wanted to make sure you know just how special you are to me!

related: Creative approaches to food thievery

Tags: Christmas · Denver · holiday spirit · kinda creepy · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · stealing