Entries Tagged as 'holiday spirit'

Really, Mom, you shouldn’t have

April 19th, 2009 · 91 Comments

Writes our anonymous submitter: “Unable to visit my mother last year for Mother’s Day, my partner and I sent her a box of chocolate truffles and an antique brooch. This is her ‘thank you’ note (which is really more like a ‘fuck you’ note).”

I enjoyed the truffles as fattening as they are

The final “fuck you,” of course, is the nearly indecipherable handwriting. Here’s the transcription:

Looked forward to seeing you on Mother’s day. In Lieu of such optimism I enjoyed the truffles as fattening as they are + the pin is very attractive. Thanks. Love, Mom

related: I can has guilt trip?

Tags: Moms & Dads · Mother's Day · thanks (but not really)

The Easter Bunny is such a passive-aggressive little bugger

April 9th, 2009 · 96 Comments

Clean the fridge please

(Thanks to Graham in Cambridge, Mass.)

related: I can has guilt trip?
extra credit: Pope’s Easter message mostly passive-aggressive guilt trip

Tags: cleaning · fridge · holiday spirit · roommates

Happy Valentine’s Day from Passive-Aggressive Notes!

February 13th, 2009 · 68 Comments

Here’s to crass commercialism!

happy valentine's day from passive-aggressive notes!

(And kisses to Jennie and her boarding school bud Michelle for the Valentine!)

Tags: heart · Valentine's Day

The Future Homeowners’ Association Presidents of America

January 28th, 2009 · 119 Comments

Complaining about how stores put up holiday decorations earlier and earlier every year is neck-and-neck with the over-or-under toilet paper debate for the title of “most tiresome pet peeve kept alive by syndicated newspaper advice columnists and lite-fm morning DJs.”

But if you want to get into some seriously self-righteous shit, just bring up “those people who keep their christmas lights up, like, all year.” Then, stand back.

Take, for example, this dorm hallway from South Dakota State University. “I walk by this room pretty much every day to go to class and the complaints on their whiteboard keep growing,” our submitter says. “I’m pretty sure they’re going to leave their Christmas decorations up for even longer now, just out of spite.”

CHRISTMAS IS OVER!

related: A deep-seated issue

Tags: college life · holiday spirit · South Dakota · whiteboard

And a Happy New Year to you!

January 2nd, 2009 · 41 Comments

Just a humble suggestion for 2009…

Why don't you make your New Years resolution learning how to park?

(Spotted by Charles in Minneapolis)

Tags: holiday spirit · Minneapolis/St. Paul · Minnesota · office · parking

Putting the “X” in “X-mas”

December 29th, 2008 · 89 Comments

“My family moved out of the house we grew up in seven years ago, and our old neighbor sent us this Christmas card,” writes Gloria in Los Angeles. (Gloria herself seems to have made a particularly strong impression.)

Vicki, Tony, Kinda, Tom, Rita, + forgot

Meanwhile, in Providence, R.I., Jessica’s aunt seems to be doing her best to put the “X” in “X-mas.”

Jessica, Aunt Karen bought you a few small items for X-mas. After this you and Kristen are off the list.

related: two birds with one snowman

Tags: "forgot" · Christmas · family · holiday spirit · Los Angeles · neighbors · signed with love

Merry Christmas, you junkie scumbag lowlife

December 26th, 2008 · 68 Comments

Libby from Sydney, Australia found this note taped to the wall of the IGA supermarket in Newtown, Sydney. “Feeling sympathetic though somewhat amused, I took a photo of it — I didn’t really think it would be fair to take it with me.” (That is, of course, more than can be said for a certain junkie scumbag lowlife.)

If it was you that stole the wheel off my bicycle when it was locked here, about 11, on Christmas fucking eve, rest assured that I look forward to hunting you down and separating your head from your body, you junkie scumbug lowlife

related: an inconvenient truth

Tags: Australia · bicycle · Christmas · die bitch die · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · not-so-veiled threats · stealing · Sydney

P.P.S. Do you really have a belly like a bowl full of jelly? If so, you might want to lay off the cookies.

December 24th, 2008 · 42 Comments

“My 8-year-old daughter was concerned about all the pictures of Santa portraying him with a whip,” says Lisa in Orlando, “so she wrote him this letter, thinking he might appreciate her helpful advice on taking care of his animals.”

Dear Santa, I was wondering if you whipped your reindeer. You should stop because if you do your deer might try to run away. You shouldn't them too many cookies either because your reindeer might get sick. P.S. Have a holly jolly Christmas! Love, Ariel

related: no girls allowed

Tags: "helpful" advice · Christmas · Florida · holiday spirit · kids · Orlando · p.s. · signed with love

…or just Jewish.

December 23rd, 2008 · 60 Comments

Writes Alex in Denver: “Last year, my roommate Luke got frustrated that our undecorated tree was still sitting in the basement on Christmas Eve. We decided to get retribution by moving the tree into his room.”

I think it's funny that it's X-Mas Eve and we still haven't put up our X-mas tree...God...we're either really lazy, or just Jewish. -Luke

Happy Hannukah, everyone!

Tags: Denver · holiday spirit · roommates · whiteboard

Just wait ’til he finds out the truth about the whole “fat guy down the chimney” thing

December 22nd, 2008 · 86 Comments

Sarah was taking a little stroll in Berkeley, California last December when she saw a house that clearly belonged to the “more is more” school of holiday decorating.

You know the type: “Giant candy canes, red bows, lights, even one of those life-sized plastic snow globes that blows confetti snow all around inside — all in a yard about the width of the sidewalk I was walking on,” Sarah says. “This note was tacked onto the fence, above an empty space in the row of candy canes.”

Who stole and vandalized a candy cane? Shame on you! My son will not understand your behavior. He will be confused and sad. Please control yourself and don't vandalize the Xmas decorations.

Adds Sarah: “Poor little boy. Now he’s not going to know it’s Christmas.”

related: a holiday wish

Tags: Berkeley · Christmas · excessive underlining · guilt trip · holiday spirit · Moms & Dads · stealing · vandalism · Won't somebody think of the children?