Writes our anonymous submitter: “I’m the oldest of four girls, none of whom are living at home. In fact, we’re all currently living in different states. My mom resents the fact that we don’t want to spend the rest of our lives living under her roof. On Mother’s Day she screened my call, then mass-texted all four of us this gem. Happy Mother’s day, Mom!!”

Meanwhile, Stephen in Spain thought he was being considerate by waiting until later in the day to call, given the six-hour time difference. Next year, he’ll know to wake his Mom up at 4 a.m. to show her JUST HOW MUCH HE CARES!

related: Really, Mom, you shouldn’t have

Writes our anonymous submitter: “Unable to visit my mother last year for Mother’s Day, my partner and I sent her a box of chocolate truffles and an antique brooch. This is her ‘thank you’ note (which is really more like a ‘fuck you’ note).”

The final “fuck you,” of course, is the nearly indecipherable handwriting. Here’s the transcription:

Looked forward to seeing you on Mother’s day. In Lieu of such optimism I enjoyed the truffles as fattening as they are + the pin is very attractive. Thanks. Love, Mom

related: I can has guilt trip?

(Thanks to Graham in Cambridge, Mass.)

related: I can has guilt trip?
extra credit: Pope’s Easter message mostly passive-aggressive guilt trip

Here’s to crass commercialism!

(And kisses to Jennie and her boarding school bud Michelle for the Valentine!)

Complaining about how stores put up holiday decorations earlier and earlier every year is neck-and-neck with the over-or-under toilet paper debate for the title of “most tiresome pet peeve kept alive by syndicated newspaper advice columnists and lite-fm morning DJs.”

But if you want to get into some seriously self-righteous shit, just bring up “those people who keep their christmas lights up, like, all year.” Then, stand back.

Take, for example, this dorm hallway from South Dakota State University. “I walk by this room pretty much every day to go to class and the complaints on their whiteboard keep growing,” our submitter says. “I’m pretty sure they’re going to leave their Christmas decorations up for even longer now, just out of spite.”

related: A deep-seated issue

Just a humble suggestion for 2009…

(Spotted by Charles in Minneapolis)

“My family moved out of the house we grew up in seven years ago, and our old neighbor sent us this Christmas card,” writes Gloria in Los Angeles. (Gloria herself seems to have made a particularly strong impression.)

Meanwhile, in Providence, R.I., Jessica’s aunt seems to be doing her best to put the “X” in “X-mas.”

related: two birds with one snowman

Libby from Sydney, Australia found this note taped to the wall of the IGA supermarket in Newtown, Sydney. “Feeling sympathetic though somewhat amused, I took a photo of it — I didn’t really think it would be fair to take it with me.” (That is, of course, more than can be said for a certain junkie scumbag lowlife.)

related: an inconvenient truth