PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » hygiene

No Dumping Zone

Kerry — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 04:40:05 +0000

To me this sounds suspiciously like an episode of The League, but Stephen from Cherry Hill, New Jersey claims his daughter recently caught him heading into the bathroom “for a little sit-down,” laptop in hand. When five-year-old Rosie asked why Daddy was bringing his computer into the fecal mist zone, he replied, “Multi-tasking.”

A few minutes later, Rosie slipped the following note under the door. (The drawing had already been done earlier.)

Translation: What are you thinking Dad? That’s a horrible thing to do.

Can you really argue with her?

Hey, I was saving that for later!

Kerry — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 01:13:04 +0000

…because if you are saving the contents of your nose for an afternoon snack, feel free to use to office walls for that purpose!

Short on New Year’s resolutions? The janitor has a few suggestions for you.

Kerry — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 19:29:16 +0000

From the ladies’ room…

And the men’s room…

And the men’s room, one day later…

related: And a Happy New Year to you!

Couplets for the Commode

Kerry — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 12:00:55 +0000

You might think that the writer of nearly a dozen couplets on toilet etiquette would include at least one variation on the sprinkle/tinkle theme, but apparently the poet at work in this Nassau County government building doesn’t go for in that sort of cliché.

But wouldn’t you know it? As Nicole from New York City reports, “The toilet seat in question was covered in ‘sprinkle‘ and absolutely disgusting.”

related: Toilet Paper Poetry Slam

Can you hack it?

Kerry — Tue, 21 Jun 2011 02:50:52 +0000

Writes our submitter in Sydney, Australia: “There’s one guy in our office who comes from a cultural background where a good hearty cough/hack/spit is de rigueur, and he brings that little bit of culture to the office with him. I find it amusing, but apparently not everyone feels the same way.”

But wait, there’s more! Within a few hours of spotting the first note in the office men’s room, our submitter noticed a second one had joined it.

Now if I only I could snap my fingers and get Mr. or Ms. Water-Cooler Wee-Wee transferred to this office…

related: What is up with the coughing?!

Beware of argumentative farm animals!

Kerry — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 02:31:26 +0000

This indignant note nearly made Mike [sic] with laughter when he saw it posted in the lobby of his apartment building in Surrey, B.C.

(Oh, those Canadians — so hilarious! Even when they’re not trying to be!)

related: A note from Dirty Lady #2

How many times did this have to happen before they put up a sign?

Kerry — Thu, 09 Jun 2011 04:33:32 +0000

From a convenience store in Florida:

A petting zoo in Virginia:

And a U.S. Army post in Washington State:

(Thanks to Nicolette, Gaby, and Kharissa for submitting!)

related: Is this a thing now?

Need another reason to skip the tanning bed?

Kerry — Thu, 02 Jun 2011 01:26:46 +0000

Well, besides that whole skin cancer thing, there’s the fact that tanning booths — like thrift-store fitting rooms — seem to bring out the animal in everyone. And that’s probably not the kind of “golden glow” you were aiming for, right?

Exhibit A) From Margo in Indiana:

Exhibit B) From Lisa in Ohio, an ominous threat indeed:

Exhibit C) From Emily in England:

Exhibit D) From Ann in Arkansas:

And Exhibit E) From an anonymous fake-baker in Louisiana:

related: When nature calls

extra credit: GTK is the new GTL

What the hell is going on at this office?

Kerry — Mon, 30 May 2011 02:45:28 +0000

Writes our submitter in Madison, Wisconsin: “A coworker was cutting his fingernails into a community desk at work, so another coworker put on rubber gloves, collected the cuttings, and then put them into a sandwich bag with this note stapled on back in the drawer.”

The real kicker, though? As it turns out, there’s actually more than one nail-clipping culprit in the office, our submitter says, ”because several people took the note personally.”

Wha-wha-WHAT? I mean, one office weirdo — that’s practically a given. But an entire gang of clandestine communal-desk-drawer-nail-clipping coworkers? That’s just messed up.

It’s a toilet, not your your asstray

Kerry — Wed, 25 May 2011 03:01:08 +0000

I don’t really want to know what “cigarette ashes” is supposed to mean in this context…

…but hey, look what I found on the Internets!

related: Your “Brown Friends”

Are you ready for your Rapture party?

Kerry — Fri, 20 May 2011 17:47:51 +0000

Stephanie in Kansas City, Missouri found this warning posted on the fridge after lunch today:

Around the same time, this note showed up on an office coffee-maker in Washington, D.C.:

Meanwhile, Ashley in Greenville, North Carolina forwards this example of a veiled threat, atheist-style:

related: Remember, God is watching you!

“Employees” must “wash hands” with “soap”

Kerry — Sun, 30 Jan 2011 23:36:57 +0000

If you’ve ever been tempted to go through an off-limits “staff only” entrance, you might consider whether that rush of forbidden adrenaline is worth the possibility of entering a wormhole to an alternate “universe” where nothing is as it seems…even the most basic rituals of hygiene!

And if you think you can escape the way you came in…you’re sadly mistaken.

(“Thanks” to Pam in Texas, Tommy in Ohio, Lisa in Michigan, and Victor in Puerto Rico for their “submissions!”)

related: The ladies room is for “women”

When hand-washing gets a little out of hand

Kerry — Sun, 23 Jan 2011 16:35:12 +0000

When her company recently relocated, says Sara in St. Louis, her department and several others were thrown together in a new office where the marketing group had already staked its claim.

“Marketing had tagged the soap they supplied in the bathroom because it was getting thrown away,” says Sara, “but when the other groups moved in they started tagging their products too.”

At this point, she says, “It’s getting a little awkward. I’m not in any of these departments — I just want to wash my hands.”

Sorry, I thought those were the shared office toenail clippers!

Kerry — Wed, 12 Jan 2011 00:30:58 +0000

Our submitter, Rob in Cleveland, says he found this note on his computer screen upon returning to his desk after lunch one day. “I honestly don’t bring my toenail clippers to work,” Rob says. “They were just hurting inside my pocket so I put them on my desk and forgot about them, and this is what I get.”

At first glance, I thought the note must have been sarcastic — surely, no one would actually borrow another’s toenail clippers, right? — so I asked Rob for some clarification.

As it turns out, Rob is pretty sure the note was no joke. “The guy who wrote it is one of the grossest people at work,” he explains. And as for why he had toenail clippers in his pocket to begin with? Says Rob: “I cut my nails in my car on the way to work.”

Of course. Well, I’m glad we cleared that one up.

related: The Jake Issues