PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » spitting http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com funny (if not necessarily "passive-aggressive") notes from pissed-off people Wed, 08 Feb 2012 19:51:33 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Can you hack it? http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/06/20/can-you-hack-it/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/06/20/can-you-hack-it/#comments Tue, 21 Jun 2011 02:50:52 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=18759 Writes our submitter in Sydney, Australia: “There’s one guy in our office who comes from a cultural background where a good hearty cough/hack/spit is de rigueur, and he brings that little bit of culture to the office with him. I find it amusing, but apparently not everyone feels the same way.”

Please stop spitting and making loud deep throat noises in this bathroom. It makes me feel sick and is disturbing the work environment. Thank you for your understanding.

But wait, there’s more! Within a few hours of spotting the first note in the office men’s room, our submitter noticed a second one had joined it.

Please stop making intolerant and culturally ignorant signs and posting them in this bathroom. It makes me feel sick and is disturbing the work environment. Thank you for your understanding.

Now if I only I could snap my fingers and get Mr. or Ms. Water-Cooler Wee-Wee transferred to this office…

related: What is up with the coughing?!

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/06/20/can-you-hack-it/feed/ 99 Spit & vinegar http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2009/05/03/spit-vinegar/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2009/05/03/spit-vinegar/#comments Sun, 03 May 2009 16:29:15 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=10962 Writes Matt in Los Angeles: “I went to get some of the 2% milk I keep in our communal work fridge for my coffee, and BAM! — front and center was this lovely.”

Do not use! I spit in this (since someone's been using it) THANKS! [I spit in it too! (since you're a jerk)]

related: And I’m singing “uh oh” on a Friday night

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2009/05/03/spit-vinegar/feed/ 197 Southern Comfort http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2009/01/18/southern-comfort/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2009/01/18/southern-comfort/#comments Sun, 18 Jan 2009 19:00:00 +0000 eerac http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=10276 Though the issue might not be top of mind for sophisticated and urbane readership of this website, let this serve as your warning: Should you find yourself in, say, Fayetteville, Arkansas (like Melissa, a California expat currently attending the U of A) you’ll soon realize how important it is to lay down the law with regard to proper cud disposal.

I know that we live in Arkansas, and we like our tobacco, but the water fountain is not a spit cup for you're [sic] chewed tobacco. It is clogging up the drain. Please refrain from using the water fountain for this purpose.


Of course, when you live as far north as Baltimore and notice that your boss has taken to spitting chaw in your trash can, the situation becomes that much more dire.

Spit in my trashcan and I'll take a dump in yours :)

related: evidently, yes

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2009/01/18/southern-comfort/feed/ 121 We’re not naming names, but… http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/12/18/were-not-naming-names-but/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/12/18/were-not-naming-names-but/#comments Thu, 18 Dec 2008 17:00:21 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=10183 Spotted by Cara at a laundromat in Ucluelet, British Columbia…

It has come to our attention that SOME customers have forgotten their manners at home. Rude behavior such as swearing, raising your voice and SPITTING on our retailers because change was not available to you is unacceptable behavior. We would like to remind our customers that it is their responsibility to bring their own change when doing laundry. We would also like to inform our customers that the Post Office is not allowed to give change. Management.

related: It’s Pat!

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/12/18/were-not-naming-names-but/feed/ 72 And I’m singing “uh oh” on a Friday night http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/11/30/and-im-singing-uh-oh-on-a-friday-night/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/11/30/and-im-singing-uh-oh-on-a-friday-night/#comments Mon, 01 Dec 2008 00:42:37 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=10086 How’d you like to be flatmates with Dianne in London? Cos I’m thinking there just might be an opening soon…

Whomever has been using my mouthwash should know that when I'm drink i sometimes spit back into the bottle. HA!

related: clarifying motion #2

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/11/30/and-im-singing-uh-oh-on-a-friday-night/feed/ 77 Where angels fear to spit http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/02/13/where-angels-fear-to-spit/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/02/13/where-angels-fear-to-spit/#comments Thu, 14 Feb 2008 02:51:32 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/02/13/where-angels-fear-to-spit/ From an anonymous heathen in Washington, D.C.:

Dear Those Who LOITER/SMOKE in THIS PARTICULAR HALLWAY: This is not a place where you can place your trash!!! People actually live here, believe it or not, and frankly, we're sick and tired of cleaning up after grown people who can go outside and do their business !!!!!!! The last thing people who actually work and have a life in this APARTMENT BULIDING [sic] WANT TO SEE WHEN THEY COME HOME IS ASHES, CIGARETTE BUTTS AND SALIVA (OR SPIT, FOR THOSE WHO CANNOT READ) IN THIS HALLWAY!!!! GO AWAY AND DO YOUR BUSINESS ELSEWHERE, WE'RE VERY SICK AND TIRED OF CLEANING UP AFTER YOU!!! BE A ROACH AND A HEATHEN SOMEWHERE ELSE. Dutifully, Disgruntled Resident

related: It must have been a pretty big bite

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/02/13/where-angels-fear-to-spit/feed/ 69 Evidently, yes http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2007/08/02/evidently-yes/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2007/08/02/evidently-yes/#comments Thu, 02 Aug 2007 11:12:57 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2007/08/02/evidently-yes/ Ellen in Acton, Mass. spotted this on the suggestion board at her gym.

Suggestions: A SIGN ASKING PEOPLE NOT TO SPIT IN THE WATER FOUNTAIN? Response from Global Fitness Center: Do we really need to tell people that spitting in the fountain is a bad idea? (YES! Evidently, if they're doing it)

At least they don’t have a Mad Bomber on the loose…yet.

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2007/08/02/evidently-yes/feed/ 43 commenter confessions: dealing with office thieves http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2007/06/01/commenter-confessions-dealing-with-office-thieves/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2007/06/01/commenter-confessions-dealing-with-office-thieves/#comments Sat, 02 Jun 2007 03:30:46 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=158 re: “you left evidence”, Good Soul says:

In 2001, I solved a “disappearing food” problem without these little notes. For some time (3 weeks or so), I bought some very nice food, put my name on it with a “do not touch — not for human consumption!” sign, and watched it disappear. I also found out about the fine taste of the thief – sugar was high in the rank. So on a random day, I placed a box of very nice sugar treats with the same sign, in the same place, and — as expected — it disappeared pretty soon. That was 9-10AM. By 2PM, the horse laxative I put in the food made two co-workers abandon the office in a hurry, only to spend the next 24 to 48 hours in the hospital.

Nothing was ever said (it could lead to lawsuit). If needed, I would claim the treats where for my horses, and “not for human consumption” — notice a similarity? I immediately stopped eating the food I left behind, just in case they thought of doing the same. Somehow, food never disappeared again. Next time I would use ink — permanent ink — just in case the idiots choose the lawsuit option.

re: “i swear this isn’t some kind of stealth viral marketing campaign”, LQP says:

Back in the day when I worked at a public library somebody stole my Hot Pockets. I responded by writing this passive-aggressive haiku (or something similar, I can’t recall it exactly) and posting it on the fridge:

Dear Hot Pocket Thief:
I hope that it tastes like guilt,
So hot and delish

The next day there was a note from the Hot Pocket thief who was profuse in his/her apology, as well as two new replacement boxes of hot pockets. I felt really terrible despite it all, and attempt to curb any passive aggressive behavior from myself.

re: “i spit in mine”, briggs says:

Where I used to work, there was this guy who would drink from anothers guy drink when he left the room. One time he place his drink on a napkin and wrote: “I spit in this”. When he got back somebody else had written “So did I!”

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2007/06/01/commenter-confessions-dealing-with-office-thieves/feed/ 17 Gentrification is insanit(ar)y http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2007/05/28/gentrification-is-insanitary/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2007/05/28/gentrification-is-insanitary/#comments Tue, 29 May 2007 01:46:52 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=116 This sign (spotted by Seamus in Noe Valley, San Fran) is sort of a West-Coast version of this, no?

Liberal loonies take notice. Please do not spit on my windows because your liberal looney views are different than mine. It is not the American way, also it is insanitary [sic] to spread your radical germs in Looney Valley.

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2007/05/28/gentrification-is-insanitary/feed/ 21 I spit in mine http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2007/05/20/i-spit-in-mine/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2007/05/20/i-spit-in-mine/#comments Mon, 21 May 2007 00:30:32 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=57 Spotted on the office fridge by Sam, who also brings us this little gem — the most precise vending-machine operating instructions ever written.

I spit in mine! Enjoy!

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