Entries Tagged as 'spitting'

And I’m singing “uh oh” on a Friday night

November 30th, 2008 · 77 Comments

How’d you like to be flatmates with Dianne in London? Cos I’m thinking there just might be an opening soon…

Whomever has been using my mouthwash should know that when I'm drink i sometimes spit back into the bottle. HA!

related: clarifying motion #2

Tags: bathroom · drizzunk · hygiene · London · roommates · spitting · U.K.

Where angels fear to spit

February 13th, 2008 · 69 Comments

From an anonymous heathen in Washington, D.C.:

Dear Those Who LOITER/SMOKE in THIS PARTICULAR HALLWAY: This is not a place where you can place your trash!!! People actually live here, believe it or not, and frankly, we're sick and tired of cleaning up after grown people who can go outside and do their business !!!!!!! The last thing people who actually work and have a life in this APARTMENT BULIDING [sic] WANT TO SEE WHEN THEY COME HOME IS ASHES, CIGARETTE BUTTS AND SALIVA (OR SPIT, FOR THOSE WHO CANNOT READ) IN THIS HALLWAY!!!! GO AWAY AND DO YOUR BUSINESS ELSEWHERE, WE'RE VERY SICK AND TIRED OF CLEANING UP AFTER YOU!!! BE A ROACH AND A HEATHEN SOMEWHERE ELSE. Dutifully, Disgruntled Resident

related: It must have been a pretty big bite

Tags: bold underlined italics · D.C. · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · neighbors · obnoxious definition · smoking · spelling and grammar police · spitting

Evidently, yes

August 2nd, 2007 · 43 Comments

Ellen in Acton, Mass. spotted this on the suggestion board at her gym.

Suggestions: A SIGN ASKING PEOPLE NOT TO SPIT IN THE WATER FOUNTAIN? Response from Global Fitness Center: Do we really need to tell people that spitting in the fountain is a bad idea? (YES! Evidently, if they're doing it)

At least they don’t have a Mad Bomber on the loose…yet.

Tags: group bitchfest · gym · Massachusetts · oh snap · spitting

Commenter confessions: dealing with office thieves

June 1st, 2007 · 17 Comments

re: “You left evidence”, Good Soul says:

In 2001, I solved a “disappearing food” problem without these little notes. For some time (3 weeks or so), I bought some very nice food, put my name on it with a “do not touch — not for human consumption!” sign, and watched it disappear. I also found out about the fine taste of the thief – sugar was high in the rank. So on a random day, I placed a box of very nice sugar treats with the same sign, in the same place, and — as expected — it disappeared pretty soon. That was 9-10AM. By 2PM, the horse laxative I put in the food made two co-workers abandon the office in a hurry, only to spend the next 24 to 48 hours in the hospital.

Nothing was ever said (it could lead to lawsuit). If needed, I would claim the treats where for my horses, and “not for human consumption” — notice a similarity? I immediately stopped eating the food I left behind, just in case they thought of doing the same. Somehow, food never disappeared again. Next time I would use ink — permanent ink — just in case the idiots choose the lawsuit option.

re: “I swear this isn’t some kind of stealth viral marketing campaign”, LQP says:

Back in the day when I worked at a public library somebody stole my Hot Pockets. I responded by writing this passive-aggressive haiku (or something similar, I can’t recall it exactly) and posting it on the fridge:

Dear Hot Pocket Thief:
I hope that it tastes like guilt,
So hot and delish

The next day there was a note from the Hot Pocket thief who was profuse in his/her apology, as well as two new replacement boxes of hot pockets. I felt really terrible despite it all, and attempt to curb any passive aggressive behavior from myself.

re:“I spit in mine”, briggs says:

Where I used to work, there was this guy who would drink from anothers guy drink when he left the room. One time he place his drink on a napkin and wrote: “I spit in this”. When he got back somebody else had written “So did I!”

 

Tags: food · office · office fridge · spitting · stealing · touching

Gentrification is insanit(ar)y

May 28th, 2007 · 21 Comments

This sign (spotted by Seamus in Noe Valley, San Fran) is sort of a West-Coast version of this, no?

Liberal loonies take notice. Please do not spit on my windows because your liberal looney views are different than mine. It is not the American way, also it is insanitary [sic] to spread your radical germs in Looney Valley.

Tags: California · crazypants · excessive underlining · more aggressive than passive · more like crazy · politics · San Francisco · spitting

I spit in mine

May 20th, 2007 · 3 Comments

Spotted on the office fridge by Sam, who also brings us this little gem — the most precise vending-machine operating instructions ever written.

PLEASE STOP STEALING MY FOOD! (I spit in mine! Enjoy!) And I want my nice Tupperware back!!!

related: Spit & Vinegar

Tags: exclamation-point happy!!!! · food · New York · office fridge · spitting · stealing