Entries Tagged as 'washing your hands'

Did you wash your hands? Well, did ya, punk?

May 13th, 2010 · 139 Comments

Every day, you watch them, in horror: Those vile, germ-laden, nether-region-wiping creatures who don’t wash their hands after using the toilet. Confronting the offenders directly wouldn’t work, because, well, you’re passive-aggressive, and that’s just not how you roll. So what to do next?

Well, you could dazzle them with some accusatory statistics…

97% of females say they wash their hands...Only 75% really do...Did you wash your hands?

…or attempt to appeal to the altruists in the audience.

Interested in a community service opportunity??? Wash your hands! Do it for the rest of us! :)

And maybe try to lure in the sports fans with the promise of some fun trivia!

Question: What is the overall record of wins and losses for Georgia versus Florida in football? To find out the answer, please wash your hands!

If they see through that little scheme, you could try patronizing your patrons outright…

Employees MUST wash hands before returning to work.Patrons SHOULD wash hands before returning to their tables.

…or just straight-up treat them like four-year-olds. (“Did you wash your hands?” “Yes.” “DID YOU WASH YOUR HANDS?” “I said yes!!!”)

Did you wash your hands? DID YOU WASH YOUR HANDS?

Perhaps even a dash of reverse psychology?

Jimmy the Germ says: 1) TOUCH your nose, eyes and mouth OFTEN! 2) DON'T wash your hands with soap! 3) NEVER wash your hands for more than 30 seconds! 4) NEVER use Sanitizing Hand Gel! LET'S ALL HELP JIMMY SURVIVE!

Of course, those less-straightforward techniques just might just backfire on you.  In that case, you could play the bully with THE CLIP ART THAT MUST BE STOPPED.

WASH THOSE HANDS!

Or, if your clip-art collection is a bit larger…release the dragon!

Excuse me but could you please wash your hands so I don't have to sanitize the germs with my fire.

Not scary enough? Maybe it’s time to bust out the F word.

Flu season is back!!!! Please wash your hands before leaving the bathroom. (Washing hands is optional off season.)

WASH YOUR HANDS! You could same someone's life, OR you could cause someone's death. Yes, that means you.

Or the even scarier F-word: FECAL-ORAL.

Why wash your hands? It's the #1 activity that can reduce disease transmission! It reduces the spread of colds, flu, and bacterial conjunctivitis (

And if that still doesn’t work? Well, I guess you’ll just have to flounce away, invest in some latex gloves, and vow to hold it ’til you get home.

Several people are complaining that People on this floor are using the restroom and they are NOT washing their hands. Dirty hands spread disease. Please wash your hands. If you don't believe in washing your hands, please refrain from touching the copier, the coffee pot, the ice machine, door handles, the elevator button....etc. Please respect others around you and wash your hands! Thank you

(Thanks to Jen in Houston, Jenni in Spokane, Marley in Pittsburgh, Lindsey in Memphis, Laura in Richmond, and the many anonymous submitters for their contributions.)

related: Five approaches to toilet paper maintenance

extra credit:  “On Washing Hands,” by Atul Gawande

extra extra credit: “Maybe You Touched Your Genitals” Liquid Hand Soap


Tags: "helpful" advice · a little patronizing · bullet points · clip art catastrophe · hygiene · office · rebuttals · restaurant · reverse psychology · rhetorical question · washing your hands

A not-so-friendly handshake

May 2nd, 2010 · 57 Comments

So, apparently this is a thing.

At a service station in the U.K., as Kerrie from London noticed, personal safety is the justification.

PLEASE DO NOT SHAKE WET HANDS ONTO FLOOR AS THIS MAY CAUSE SOMEONE TO SLIP AND FALL & INJURIES MAY OCCUR DUE TO CARELESSNESS!

At a University in Florida, it’s cleanliness.

ATTENTION Please dry your hands with a paper towel instead of shaking your hands and water falling on the floor. It keeps the bathroom floor a lot cleaner. Thank you, Staff  Yeah, nevermind the environment. —Student It's okay I don't need trees. —Student

Meanwhile, in Canada…

Out of Stock Use Your Pants

related: Nobody likes electric hand dryers (except for ZOMG the Dyson Airblade!!!)

Tags: bathroom · disgruntled janitor · rebuttals · that's irresponsible · that's unsanitary · The Earth · washing your hands

Nobody likes electric hand dryers…even on Earth Day.

April 22nd, 2010 · 159 Comments

When Sarah saw this notice posted in the restroom of a Chicago movie theater, she says, “I was thrilled to find a company willing to admit what I have always secretly felt: that despite their tree-saving abilities, electric hand dryers suck.”

ELECTRIC HAND DRYERS No, we don't like them either, but they are the most energy efficient, and environment friendly choice  Thank You, Cinema Management

Scott was also thrilled to spot this sign in the men’s room of a bar in Council Bluffs, Iowa. “It’s mainly the incredibly bad spelling and punctuation that I love about it,” he says. (The less-than-incredible attempt to drum up excitement for those “fast and new hand blowers”?  Not so much.)

Sorry, but we will not be useing [sic] paper towels From now on. There is Fast + New HAND BLOWER'S [sic] Thank you

related: And a very happy Earth Day to you!

extra credit: Air Hand Dryers May Leave Bacteria on Hands, Says Study [greendaily.com]

Tags: bathroom · energy usage · spelling and grammar police · The Earth · washing your hands

Hand-washing for non-believers

June 8th, 2007 · 26 Comments

Explains our anonymous submitter in St. Louis: “I just lost my job at [giant pharmaceutical company]. I was feeling rather passive-aggressive, so I tore this flyer down from the inside of the bathroom stall. It has been there for over three years.”

Several people are complaining that People on this floor are using the restroom and they are NOT washing their hands. Dirty hands spread disease. Please wash your hands. If you don't believe in washing your hands, please refrain from touching the copier, the coffee pot, the ice machine, door handles, the elevator button....etc. Please respect others around you and wash your hands! Thank you

Tags: bathroom · clip art catastrophe · danger · excessive underlining · hygiene · Missouri · office · touching · washing your hands