PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » ice cream

Your guardian angel just wants you to get ‘bikini ready’

Kerry — Fri, 27 May 2011 03:58:23 +0000

In this episode of targeted advertising gone awry, Jill in Nashville went the grocery store and bought a bag of chocolate chips (“to make cookies for work”) and one pint of Ben & Jerry’s (“just one, mind you!”)

If Jill sounds a little defensive, that’s probably because — thanks to some disarmingly deadpan algorithms — she received this perky little coupon along with her receipt.

Meanwhile, a submitter in Ohio was about to reach for the Cherry Garcia — but stopped short when she spotted this “sign from above.”

related: Are you calling me fat?

Stone cold crazy like a fox

Kerry — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 02:05:46 +0000

For her 28th birthday, Jennifer in Arizona received this thoughtful card from her mother-in-law (who apparently comes from the same school of gift-giving as my own Grandma Cookie). “Since April I’ve lost 15 pounds,” Jennifer explains. “Apparently she’s concerned that I’ll gain it back.”

Sympathy for the Devil

Kerry — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 02:35:34 +0000

This good-humored e-mail was send out to the entire staff of an elementary school…IN HELL!

(click the image below to enlarge)

So much for turning the other cheek

kerry — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 05:17:43 +0000

Thanks to Sarah for capturing this delicious little slice of life from her Christian college in Illinois. (Delicious like a quart of Starbucks Coffee Almond Fudge, not one measly little low-fat Frappucino bar.)

related: but He took the wheel

It’s not food, mister — it’s ice cream!

Kerry — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 17:30:37 +0000

Tourist traps have the best signs. More proof? This exercise in subtlety is from Provincetown, Mass., where it was spotted by intrepid vacationer Teresa from Boise.

Exhibit b) is from Washington, D.C., in a store Sam says sold “all sorts of crap, from Nixon and Michael Jackson pins to African drums and sweaters.”

And in Las Vegas, even “the ice cream of the future” doesn’t get a special exemption.