PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » ice http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com funny (if not necessarily "passive-aggressive") notes from pissed-off people Wed, 08 Feb 2012 19:51:33 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 The nerd’s guide to passive-aggressive behavior http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/12/15/the-nerds-guide-to-passive-aggressive-behavior/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/12/15/the-nerds-guide-to-passive-aggressive-behavior/#comments Mon, 15 Dec 2008 17:29:31 +0000 eerac http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=10159 We’ve received several copies of this instructive diagram, which the helpful illustrators of Graph jam have made available to coffee watchdogs the world over.

The nerd's guide to not leaving the fucking coffee pot empty

Seeing people print their passive-aggressive flowcharts off the Internet makes our resident nerd, Eric, sentimental for simpler times. He quietly reflects on time spent wandering the halls of Brown University’s CS department back in 2007. In those days, tech-minded individuals still made patronizing flowcharts the old-fashioned way, using OpenOffice on Linux.

Did you just take an ice cube?

Though such documents are most commonly spotted in offices populated by engineers and other technically inclined folk, even Kerry — who is not earning her Ph.d in Computer Science — can appreciate the clarity of a flowchart like this one:

Criteria for the proper tactical usage of the phrase 'oh snap!': a flowchart

related: When Ph.ds get frustrated

extra credit: “Flow chart: is it fucked up?” [boingboing]

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/12/15/the-nerds-guide-to-passive-aggressive-behavior/feed/ 73 News you can use http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/05/25/news-you-can-use/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/05/25/news-you-can-use/#comments Sun, 25 May 2008 18:07:27 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=615 The word “newsflash,” like the phrase “no offense,” is an early indicator that what follows is probably going to be something pretty bitchy. Unless, of course, you’re watching TV news, in which case the word “newsflash” more likely heralds the announcement of a hard-hitting segment about the household product in your kitchen that could be killing your children. Either way: proceed with caution.

Exhibit a) from roommate to roommate, Chicago

Newsflash 1: trash does not take itself out. GROSS!?

Exhibit b) from mother to daughter, Irving, Texas

I have a news flash! I don't buy your wine! Thanks for drinking a bottle I never got to try!

Exhibit c) the pointed use of song lyrics in a Facebook status update

Newsflash BITCH...I don't live to please you

Exhibit d) stating the obvious

Newsflash: There is no ice fairy. If you do not have the courtesy to refill the ice trays (especially in 100 degree weather) do not take any ice.

SHOCKING NEWSFLASH: Dishes don't wash themselves

NEWSFLASH Bush: One of the Worst Disasters to Hit the U.S.

related: No offense! (just kidding) No worries! (just kidding)

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/05/25/news-you-can-use/feed/ 62 Reporting not-exactly-live from SXSW http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/03/14/reporting-not-exactly-live-from-sxsw/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/03/14/reporting-not-exactly-live-from-sxsw/#comments Fri, 14 Mar 2008 10:50:47 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/03/14/reporting-not-exactly-live-from-sxsw/ Before I pass out, I bring you a few of my favorite more-aggressive-than-passive notes from the music clubs of Austin.

First, from Scoot Inn…

TO GAIN ENTRY OR "COME IN" YOU WILL NEED $2

More bouncer sass from (I think) Beerland…

Don't waste time arguing with the door guy.

And lastly, from Emo’s…

I don't know about you...but I sure as hell wouldn't want someone else's sweaty-ass, filthy grimey fingers in the clean ice I drink w/. So keep the fuck out! Thanx

related: I used to be your biggest fan

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/03/14/reporting-not-exactly-live-from-sxsw/feed/ 87 Four approaches to ice cube maintenance http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2007/06/20/four-approaches-to-ice-cube-maintenance/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2007/06/20/four-approaches-to-ice-cube-maintenance/#comments Wed, 20 Jun 2007 16:00:04 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2007/06/20/four-approaches-to-ice-cube-maintenance/ Exhibit a) From Richmond, Virginia: the pedantic approach

how to make ice

Exhibit b) From Minneapolis: the conditional approach

refill the ice cube trays

Exhibit c) From Hartford, Connecticut: the ALL for one and one for ALL approach

take only a couple of ice cubes

Exhibit d) From Dallas: the federal government’s approach

respect others

(Thanks to Erik and Kim for their submissions.)

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