PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » Illinois http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com funny (if not necessarily "passive-aggressive") notes from pissed-off people Wed, 08 Feb 2012 19:51:33 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Public Displays of Long-Distance Affection http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/12/18/long-distance-pda/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/12/18/long-distance-pda/#comments Mon, 19 Dec 2011 01:06:27 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=20006 Ryan came home from work tonight and found this taped to the front door of his Chicago apartment building.

It could be worse, of course. Adds Ryan, “At least she plays nice guitar.”

To the guy who lives at the south end of the building and skypes his girlfriend every night at 3am: Hey man, I know you and your girlfriend are in different time zones, and I understand you have to talk to her EVERY NIGHT AT 2-4 AM, but could you please keep your voice down, and maybe use a headphone instead of the speaker? It's nice that your girlfriend has a beautiful singing voice and plays nice guitar, but I really can't appreciate her performance at this ungodly hour. I've been waken [sic] up three nights in a row by you guys and I sincerely hope it won't turn into a full season of your personal American idol show. PLEASE USE A HEADPHONE! Thank you. Someone who only gets 4 hours of sleep these days.

related: Toto, I have a feeling we’re not at band camp anymore

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/12/18/long-distance-pda/feed/ 46 Urban Warfare http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/11/27/urban-warfare/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/11/27/urban-warfare/#comments Sun, 27 Nov 2011 19:27:49 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=19951 Perhaps the neighbors are Skyrim fans?

Dear Neighbors, I apologize for any loud

related: Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got Call of Duty on pause

extra credit: ‘Modern Warfare’ removes one team’s call of duty [wtop.com]

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/11/27/urban-warfare/feed/ 82 So close, and yet… http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/09/01/so-close-and-yet/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/09/01/so-close-and-yet/#comments Fri, 02 Sep 2011 00:40:29 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=19305 Darin in Chicago came across the note on the side of his neighbor’s garage just as he was throwing his own dog’s crap in the trash can. (This is kinda like getting out the new roll of TP, but then leaving it on the side of the sink to get wet instead of just putting it on the dispenser…except, worse.)

You pick up the dog crap, but insist on leaving it next to the garbage can. I don't understand.

I don’t really understand the logic here either, but perhaps this particular dog owner is still dealing with the scars from dealing with neighbors like this one, from Ottawa:

OLD LADY If I Catch You In The Act Of Putting Your Dogs Crap In Our Cans. I Will Cut Off Your Head And Bolt It To The Hood Of My Car

related: This is not a trash can

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/09/01/so-close-and-yet/feed/ 99 Short fuses over shorted fuses http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/07/14/stealing-fuses/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/07/14/stealing-fuses/#comments Fri, 15 Jul 2011 02:37:41 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=18922 Well, here’s another one to file under I didn’t even know that was a thing.

Explains our submitter in Chicago: “We live in a VERY old building with a lot of electrical problems. Apparently, one of the tenants is blowing fuses daily and switching their blown fuses out with other units’ working ones. Crazy.”

Dear Jerkface who keeps stealing fuses, 1) You're a jerkface. 2) Fuses are expensive. You would know that if you went out and bought some instead of stealing other people's. 3) You obviously have some type of electrical issue that needs to be addressed. Call the management company before you burn down the building. Thanks!

related: This is not a thing! I refuse to acknowledge this is a thing!

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/07/14/stealing-fuses/feed/ 85 Praying for rain (and/or the end of the world) http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/05/21/praying-for-rain/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/05/21/praying-for-rain/#comments Sat, 21 May 2011 19:41:12 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=18531 Dan in Chicago spotted this unexpected gem in the “comments from our readers” section of the Chicago Tribune weather page.

Right now it is not raining, but I am really counting on it to rain, because I am not in the mood to go to my son's little league game.

related: No money, no trophy

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/05/21/praying-for-rain/feed/ 30 Roommate wanted: NO OLDS! http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/03/27/roommate-wanted-no-olds/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/03/27/roommate-wanted-no-olds/#comments Mon, 28 Mar 2011 04:45:49 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=17950 To the genius in Illinois who posted this want ad: if your experience interviewing random would-be roommates hasn’t convinced you already, our archives provides ample proof than “bitchy” is far from synonymous with “old.”

Roommate Needed ASAP No Old people please I don't need a bitchy old roommate. lv. message 450 per mo.

related: Snowed in? Come meet your neighbors! (Unless you’re like, old.)

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/03/27/roommate-wanted-no-olds/feed/ 49 Less expensive (and more passive-aggressive) than having it towed http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/02/08/a-sticky-situation/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/02/08/a-sticky-situation/#comments Wed, 09 Feb 2011 00:23:49 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=17620 For all practical purposes, the way New York City handles vehicles parked on the wrong side of the street…

This vehicle violates N.Y.C. parking regulations. As a result, this street could not be properly cleaned. A cleaner New York is up to you! Remove with warm water and scraper. Please do not litter.

…really isn’t that different from the strategy employed by this creative vigilante in Illinois. (As always, just click the image to enlarge.)

[In peanut butter:] less expensive than having it towed [Smaller:] We are happy to oblige our friends and neighbors with the use of our lot, please ask in advance. Thanks.

“Remove with warm water”?” Yeah…good luck with that.

related: Can you dig it?

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/02/08/a-sticky-situation/feed/ 76 Dear Bad Mood Customer http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/02/02/dear-bad-mood-customer/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/02/02/dear-bad-mood-customer/#comments Thu, 03 Feb 2011 01:32:12 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=17597 “The Lakeview area doesn’t have the most convenient post office locations, so many people just stop in at this shipping center,” says Zach in Chicago. “This sign is well known in the neighborhood.” (Indeed, I’ve gotten photos of it from at least five different submitters.)

“The lady who served me seemed nice,” says Leigh, “but I guess people aren’t so nice to her.” Meanwhile, Casey, another submitter, says: “the little lady actually picks fights with customers! She charged me astronomical prices for shipping books and when I asked her about it, she started yelling at me.” I guess that’s the convenience charge?

Dear Bad Mood Customer if you don't like our price just go other place for your business. Don't make our day not peaceful by only less than $1.00 more and your dirty words. Life is so short to be ? by your too little. Thank you.

Dear Bad Mood Customer if you don't like our price just go other place for your business. Don't make our day not peaceful by only less than $1.00 more and your dirty words. Life is so short to be ? by your too little. Thank you.

related: Service with a snarl

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/02/02/dear-bad-mood-customer/feed/ 52 Please take me at my word that I’ve been working out lately http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/11/10/please-take-me-at-my-word-that-ive-been-working-out-lately/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/11/10/please-take-me-at-my-word-that-ive-been-working-out-lately/#comments Thu, 11 Nov 2010 02:07:23 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=16969 Our anonymous submitter didn’t catch the original note about “slaming [sic] the door,” but you can get a pretty good idea of what it said based on the carefully worded response from the recipient, John (who, like Dustin, simply isn’t aware of his own strength at times).

Dear Sir or Madam: Hello. Thank you for bringing this matter to my attention. I would like to offer you my most profound apologies for having slammed the door last night. I have to tell you that I honestly wasn't aware that I do this; I always thought that I used a normal amount of force when closing the door, although I have been working out lately. Please take me at my word when I now say that I will be more conscious of my door closing from here forward. However, in the event that you do have more problems with me, I would greatly appreciate it if you were to approach me directly, rather that resort to another hasty and quite confrontational handwritten note that, to be quite frank, had all the potential to be taken as offensive. I am sure that you will understand where I am coming from. Once again, thank you for your correspondence and I appreciate your anticipated co-operation. Most sincerely, John [Redacted] Apt. 108

Meanwhile, this note, as seen by Felix in Atlanta, was clearly left by a neighbor without a law degree.

(I’m guessing a dog; cats are way more passive-aggressive.)

Dear Neighbor, Please, PLEASE stop by and say hello. We can clear this up right away without having to leave sneaky notes. Thanks! I look forward to chatting [Paw print]

related: Door-slamming sign slam

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/11/10/please-take-me-at-my-word-that-ive-been-working-out-lately/feed/ 49 Did you want a doggy bag for those leftovers, sir? http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/11/08/did-you-want-a-doggy-bag-for-those-leftovers-sir/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/11/08/did-you-want-a-doggy-bag-for-those-leftovers-sir/#comments Tue, 09 Nov 2010 03:41:17 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=16962 Our submitter says this isn’t the first time her father has put up this display in his front yard…proving, I guess that some people will go through a lot of shit just to make a point. (Meanwhile, the neighborhood dogs and dog owners continue to go about their business.)

Thank you for leaving this for me. I really don't need it. Feel free to take it home for your own use.

related: Lost & Found

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/11/08/did-you-want-a-doggy-bag-for-those-leftovers-sir/feed/ 72 No more dipping into the day care baby dippers http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/08/04/no-more-dipping-into-the-day-care-baby-dippers/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/08/04/no-more-dipping-into-the-day-care-baby-dippers/#comments Thu, 05 Aug 2010 03:48:13 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=16269 “Typically, the people at my son’s day care just tell me when he’s running low on diapers or they write a note on his daily progress report,” says Lindsey in Peoria, Illinois. “Last time I forgot, and he had to use a few of theirs. I guess this was his teacher’s passive-aggressive [Ed. note: AND TOTALLY CREEPY] way of ensuring that I’d remember this time.”

(It worked.)

NEED MORE

related: Is your babysitter trying to get in your kid’s pants?

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/08/04/no-more-dipping-into-the-day-care-baby-dippers/feed/ 113 Why can’t we all just get along? http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/06/29/why-cant-we-all-just-get-along/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/06/29/why-cant-we-all-just-get-along/#comments Tue, 29 Jun 2010 22:05:18 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=15221 Hey, here’s some advice! If you’re looking to improve your relationships with your roommates, communicating through the erasable whiteboard might not be the most effective way to go.

Why can't we all just get along? DON'T BE BITCHES!

(Above, from a sorority house in L.A.; below, from a shared apartment in Chicago.)

Our communication is pretty bad. We should talk as a group when WE are ready.

related: Facebook, another poor medium for mediating roommate disputes

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/06/29/why-cant-we-all-just-get-along/feed/ 63 The passive-aggressive wunderkind http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/03/29/the-passive-aggressive-wunderkind/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/03/29/the-passive-aggressive-wunderkind/#comments Mon, 29 Mar 2010 17:28:02 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=13840 Mandie in Sullivan, Illinois found this love note from her six-year-old daughter tucked under her pillow one night. Can we get this kid on a stamp, stat? I think she has a future at Hallmark (or someecards).

Mommy I Love you sometimes !!!!!!!

Perhaps she could work on getting this prototype (by six-year-old Max in Marietta, Georgia) into production.

Dear Cameron, I am so sorry that I smacked you in the privates.

related: The joys of motherhood

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/03/29/the-passive-aggressive-wunderkind/feed/ 72 Can you dig it? http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/02/21/can-you-dig-it/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/02/21/can-you-dig-it/#comments Sun, 21 Feb 2010 21:15:57 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=13306 “When I first moved to Chicago,” says Mike, “my grandfather told me about parking in the winter. One would dig out a spot and insert a chair, reserving the spot for your trouble.” One of his neighbors, it seems, didn’t get the benefit of such grandfatherly wisdom.

Dear Transplant, You obviously haven't lived in Chicago long.

Neither, apparently, did Chris…who made the mistake of parking in an empty space outside his friend’s house in Chicago for few hours. When he got home, he found this note affixed to his mirror with glue.

Thanks for being so rude by parking in the space that I shoveled out for my family.

And of course, Chicago isn’t the only city that takes its snow-shoveling etiquette seriously.

Just ask Anna in New Jersey…

This table is not trash, it is mine. I am using it to mark my parking spot that I so diligently shoveled out twice yesterday.

Or Brooke in Indianapolis…

I spent 3.5 hours over 2 days to shovel this parking space out so i could get to work and earn a paycheck. Since parking on the street is my only option at the moment, I would ask that you respect my hard work in shoveling myself out and NOT take my spot to park. Have your business spend money to plow your spots in front of your business if you would like a clean spot to park. Regards, A homeowner with a sore back from shoveling so much snow!!!

Or Amy in Washington, D.C…

Dear "Neighbor": I'm sure you thought the Recycling Bin and Trash Bags were just there for decoration. When a person spends hours digging out a parking spot through two separate snowstorms, she has a right to park there upon her return.

Or Larry in Silver Spring, Maryland…

NOT COOL!! You didn't take 3 hours to shovel this spot OUT!! This is MY parking spot!!

Or Kristin in Pittsburgh…

PLEASE DON'T PARK HERE (or I will totally lose my shit!!)

Olivia in Albany…

Don't think about parking here Shovel your own space Thank you Have a nice day

Or Chris in Boston…where they’re always keepin’ it classy.

Hey fucking asshole the barrel was there for a reason. I didn't shovel out the spot that you could park your shitbox in it you fucking dickhead.

related: Boston, a place for friends

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