“I don’t even like cats,” our submitter in San Francisco admits, “but reading the note made me want to go inside to see what someone would be so inclined to steal.”

related: Do not kiss on someone else’s kiss

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This is one of those notes I’ve spent far too long puzzling over. The frustratingly random capitalization, the misuse of/missing punctuation, the center justification, and of course, THE BOX. WHY THE BOX?

Sir/ma’am, I will gladly supply you with as many Baby Ruths as you can stuff down your gullet if you can reconstruct the thought [...]

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writes our anonymous submitter in hartford, connecticut: “we’re not much for posting notes in our restroom at work., so the situation must have been pretty dire for someone to go to the trouble to craft this one.”
i appreciate the initial sentiment here — i really do. this website has already condemned the cutesy rhyme that [...]

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Chris says this note was slipped under his apartment door  by one of his “typically passive-aggressive Seattle neighbors.” And no, he adds, he hadn’t noticed. Perhaps because the door was lacking in aggressively punctuated parenthetical statements!! (Homeowners dues??)

Personally, I am just luuurving the nice little call-and-response rhythm this note has got goin’ on. I eagerly await [...]

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jen says this liquor store in chicago’s lincoln square is completely plastered with notes like these, but — vexingly enough — the guy at the register was such a hawk she was only able to snap a few photos. happily, i’d say jen scored a hat trick for insolence with these three.

related: free markets, free [...]

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As this sign from a Montgomery, Alabama break room shows, “PopCorn Users” remain one of the most persecuted groups in the workplace today.

related: bizarre pardoning accident

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rodti and laura elizabeth spotted these charming examples of local scottish color outside an internet cafe in glasgow’s west end.

meanwhile, a grocery story elsewhere in glasgow displays a similar plea for clemency…one that seems intended for a similar clientele.

related: blame it on coke
extra credit: buckfast tonic wine [wikipedia]
the worst toilet in scotland [youtube]

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in terms of the appropriate sympathetic nervous system response, an e-mail subject line like “big favor” is kinda the modern cubicle-dweller’s equivalent of “saber-tooth tiger outside cave!”

(note: this e-mail, our seattle-area submitter says, is from the very same person who brought us this.)
related: perhaps it’s time for a little group therapy?

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christoph found this polite and friendly note on the door of his apartment in san francisco. a reasonable enough request, to be sure, except for the fact that — despite his neighbor’s claimed omniscience — “i don’t own any exercise equipment.”

(admits christoph: “it was likely a swivel chair…and my habit of rolling back and forth [...]

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Where do you suppose this “anomous” Tampa, Florida resident stands on the whole nature-vs.-nurture debate?

Interested? here’s a free preview!

related: your to lazy

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spotted in a high foot traffic area of sausalito, california…

god bless the bay area.
related: gentrification is insanit(ar)y

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terri in d.c. found this sign-bedecked scooter outside her apartment hilarious for three reasons. first off, “the fact that one of those little squirrely-looking scooter guys got out his most aggressive art supply and wrote “fuck off and die” to a stranger.”
second, she says: “i live between two churches, a library, an elementary school, [...]

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Many offices, it seems, are a regular Disneyland of what only appear to be inanimate objects. The evidence?
From Frank in San Francisco, a sentient sponge:

From Amy in Annapolis, Maryland, a talking toilet:

From Ben in San Antonio, Texas, a talking door:

And then there’s my favorite – from an anonymous submitter in Washington, D.C. – a talking [...]

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Thanks to Sarah for capturing this delicious little slice of life from her Christian college in Illinois. (Delicious like a quart of Starbucks Coffee Almond Fudge, not one measly little low-fat Frappucino bar.)

related: but He took the wheel

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Hannah saw this note on the window of a small toy store in downtown Sarasota, Florida. “They are really cool about it,” Hannah says,  ”but people still kiss the window.”

UPDATE: Jessica stopped by the same store recently (nearly two years later) and the sign is still up!

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My own neighborhood of Park Slope, Brooklyn has high concentrations of dogs, babies, crazies and bloggers, which makes for a heady brew of incredibly well-documented passive-aggressiveness. Certain notes (like this long-running series) show up in my inbox over and over again. I’ve gotten various iterations of this note from no fewer than six different people [...]

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this delightful note comes to us from the wilds of suburban orange county, california. “there is a door at my school (a private college) that is constantly propped open,” explains amy, a grad student. “up until yesterday, the note on the door said, ‘please close door.’ i have NO idea about the microwave [...]

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Those troublemakers requesting more crazy apartment notes can thank our anonymous submitter (a GM at a property management firm in Springfield, Missouri) for today’s masterpiece. “One of our resident managers delivered this letter to 115 units at her property, then e-mailed me a copy because she was REALLY proud of it,” our submitter writes. “I got halfway [...]

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