PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » New Jersey http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com funny (if not necessarily "passive-aggressive") notes from pissed-off people Wed, 08 Feb 2012 19:51:33 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 No Dumping Zone http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/01/30/fecal-mist-laptop/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/01/30/fecal-mist-laptop/#comments Tue, 31 Jan 2012 04:40:05 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=20891 To me this sounds suspiciously like an episode of The League, but Stephen from Cherry Hill, New Jersey claims his daughter recently caught him heading into the bathroom “for a little sit-down,” laptop in hand. When five-year-old Rosie asked why Daddy was bringing his computer into the fecal mist zone, he replied, “Multi-tasking.”

A few minutes later, Rosie slipped the following note under the door. (The drawing had already been done earlier.)

What are you thinking Dad? That's a horrible thing to do.

Translation: What are you thinking Dad? That’s a horrible thing to do.

Can you really argue with her?

related: Never put nature aside for television.

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/01/30/fecal-mist-laptop/feed/ 40 Gas Boys: the Salonnières of Central New Jersey http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/01/29/gas-boys/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/01/29/gas-boys/#comments Mon, 30 Jan 2012 01:45:21 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=20888 My friend Brooke said the doors at this New Jersey gas station were covered with notes, but this one in particular caught her attention.

I exactly know today is a cold day and to stay alive I have to stay warm! I have a smart phone which tell me weather seven days ahead. I like to talk about Oscars nomination or the last night game.

(I particularly enjoyed the suggested topics of conversation. Kinda softened the tone a bit compared to this version from Toronto, no?)

Weather changes. Often. It's not always what you expect. Sometimes it is. Life is better if you are dressed appropriately for the weather. I think we have, pretty much, squared away the deal with weather.

related: A plea from your Boston-area barista

 

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/01/29/gas-boys/feed/ 28 Christmas lights manufactured by a particularly hardcore Elf on the Shelf http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/12/13/xmas-lights-of-doom/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/12/13/xmas-lights-of-doom/#comments Wed, 14 Dec 2011 01:17:09 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=19989 Angela and her father were poking around the local dollar store in Metuchen, New Jersey when we they came across these boxes of Christmas lights.

“We originally thought these vaguely ominous messages were meant to harken back to the ‘true spirit of Christmas’ but these threats don’t exactly engender goodwill toward men,” Angela says. “I don’t know for whom these vaguely ominous messages are really intended, but s/he must have seriously pissed off the manufacturer.”

PEOPLE ARE WRONG TO FOCUS NARROWLY ON THEMSELVES

PEOPLE ARE WRONG TO FOCUS NARROWLY ON THEMSELVES

IF YOU SACRIFICE OTHERS FOR YOURSELF, YOU WILL SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES.

IF YOU SACRIFICE OTHERS FOR YOURSELF, YOU WILL SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES.

related: Subliminal self-esteem killers

extra credit: Evil Elf on the Shelf

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/12/13/xmas-lights-of-doom/feed/ 48 Well, so much for “have a nice summer, see you next year” http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/07/04/people-warned-me-about-you/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/07/04/people-warned-me-about-you/#comments Mon, 04 Jul 2011 18:18:36 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=18881 Writes Roxanne in New Jersey: “When my niece, Diana, returned from a yearbook-signing party, she showed me this inscription from a girl who Diana says she hardly even knows. We’re both dying to know what those terrible warnings about her could have been (but of course, grateful that Leah apparently gave her a chance in spite of them.)”

Hey Diana! It was great getting to know you this year. A lot of people warned me about you, but you're not so bad! heart, Leah.

related: 2good 2be 4gotten

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/07/04/people-warned-me-about-you/feed/ 80 The dos and don’ts of “Do not touch” http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/08/12/the-dos-and-donts-of-do-not-touch/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/08/12/the-dos-and-donts-of-do-not-touch/#comments Fri, 13 Aug 2010 02:56:59 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=16333 Nadia in Greensboro, North Carolina spotted this gem of a “you break it, you buy it” specimen at a local thrift store. “Apparently,” she writes, “Secondhand Punctuation Has Its Drawbacks? You Can’t Pick And Choose? You Have To Make Do With What You Have On Hand? Handwritten Notes Are Not Exceptions?”

Please Ask For Assistance Before Touching? If You Break You Buy?

The D.C. tourist trap that Amy visited took a less tentative tack with its signage, though I doubt the “four times is better than one” approach is any more effective.

warning Kids do not touch Kids do not touch Kids do not touch Kids do not touch You break and you will pay full price.. no exceptions

These two stores, on the other hand, pretty much nail it with reverse psychology.

Go ahead, put your mouth all over these, everybody else does. God weeds out the weak.

LICE? WE HOPE NOT — GOOD LUCK!! TRY ON ANOTHER HAT....!

related: As Davy Crockett once said…

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/08/12/the-dos-and-donts-of-do-not-touch/feed/ 52 Daddy, why are all the cages empty? http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/07/15/daddy-why-are-all-the-cages-empty/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/07/15/daddy-why-are-all-the-cages-empty/#comments Thu, 15 Jul 2010 22:11:48 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=15904 You’re a zookeeper. You’re sick of answering the same damn question all day long. How do you handle it?

Well, there’s the PC approach…

Our octopus has completed its life cycle. A new octopus will be here soon.

The pedantic approach…

Writes Sarah in Los Angeles:

And then there’s my personal favorite, the German approach.

Why did you feed me to death? Feeding our animals is forbidden! In remembrance of our Pony

(Thanks to Gina in Cincinnati, Sarah in Los Angeles, and Andrea in Berlin for their submissions!)

related: Don’t die; it’s expensive

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/07/15/daddy-why-are-all-the-cages-empty/feed/ 122 From the Department of Inappropriate Clip Art http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/05/28/from-the-department-of-inappropriate-clip-art/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/05/28/from-the-department-of-inappropriate-clip-art/#comments Fri, 28 May 2010 05:30:16 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=14786 Just in time for WTF? Friday…

Exhibit a) Posted on the front door of Ruth‘s apartment complex just outside Washington, D.C.

On Thursday, May 27, 2010 the Sheriff's Office is scheduled for evictions within our Community [on a classic Word template with trumpets and confetti]

Exhibit b) From a parole liaison at the New Jersey Department of Corrections:

Parole Dates/Max Releases

Exhibit c) From a vacation rental home in Maine, as spotted by Mike from Philadelphia, who adds, “I’m allergic to type set in Comic Sans.”

Our septic system is very allergic to sanitary products of all types. Please do not flush diapers, sanitary pads or tampons and the like. Thank you.....

related: Screenbeans are never okay

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/05/28/from-the-department-of-inappropriate-clip-art/feed/ 36 Funny money http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/03/23/funny-money/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/03/23/funny-money/#comments Tue, 23 Mar 2010 19:44:45 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=13808 This first note, spotted by Nick, is from a school in New Jersey; the second, from DeAnna and Shawn, was taken at a school in Stony Brook, New York. Apart from those details… not really all that different, eh?

(I don’t think Monopoly-land has universal health care, though.)

THIS was stuck in the machine! Use real money and you'll get a real Drink! Use play money and everybody Gets NOTHING! Ms Joanne

Canadian $ is NOT real $

Love you, Canada! And your loonies, too.

related: putting 50 pennies in here is a hostile act

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/03/23/funny-money/feed/ 109 To flush or not to flush http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2009/01/08/to-flush-or-not-to-flush/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2009/01/08/to-flush-or-not-to-flush/#comments Thu, 08 Jan 2009 15:00:48 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=10245 This first note was posted in the bathroom of the Gay Pride Center in New Brunswick, New Jersey; the second, in the bathroom of the Rhode Island Department of Health in Providence.

I’d probably recommend steering clear of the kitchen sinks at both facilities.

Attention: Please DO NOT flush anything inside of the toilet (this includes toilet paper, sanitary napkins, paper towels, or wipes.) Use garbage disposal instead. THANK YOU

to flush or not to flush

related: a filthy hap pit

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2009/01/08/to-flush-or-not-to-flush/feed/ 141 The rules for strip bingo http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/12/08/the-rules-for-strip-bingo/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/12/08/the-rules-for-strip-bingo/#comments Mon, 08 Dec 2008 19:14:58 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=10114 Spotted in the basement of a New Jersey church where people play bingo all the time. Adds submitter Yamis: “I guess we know the demographics of the crowd.”

IF YOUR [sic] COLD WEAR A COAT. IF YOUR [sic] HOT TAKE IT OFF. IT YOU GET HOT FLASHES WEAR LESS. -THE GENERAL

related: More like hardly working

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/12/08/the-rules-for-strip-bingo/feed/ 61 A new tagline for The Price is Right? http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/11/25/a-new-tagline-for-the-price-is-right/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/11/25/a-new-tagline-for-the-price-is-right/#comments Wed, 26 Nov 2008 03:22:07 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=10078 Our anonymous submitter in New Jersey found this note taped to every apartment door in his complex. “We do indeed have a problem with feral cats in our neighborhood, but my sense is that they’ve been around for many (cat) generations…not that people are buying new ones.”

Attention Cat "Owners"

Adds our submitter: “Now that I think about it, I’m probably a bad person for finding this funny, but really, the all-bold, all-caps “LET HER DEATH BE ON YOUR HEAD!!!” is just so perfectly over the top. Personally, I would have gone with “A POX ON ALL YOUR HOUSES!!!”

related: I can has guilt trip?

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/11/25/a-new-tagline-for-the-price-is-right/feed/ 288 The Whore of West Babylon http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/08/23/the-whore-of-west-babylon/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/08/23/the-whore-of-west-babylon/#comments Sat, 23 Aug 2008 17:37:39 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=9547 Jasy from Laurel, Maryland spotted this beauty while driving down the New Jersey Turnpike.

“I’m dying to know just how blasphemous Denise is to deserve the sign,” Jasy says. “But is it really that surprising that the Anti-Christ would claim Jersey as home base?”

DENISE IS THE ANTI CHRIST

related: No, He uses Vaseline
extra credit: “Hey, look our toll plaza over” [nytimes.com]

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/08/23/the-whore-of-west-babylon/feed/ 123 Is nothing sacred? http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/01/05/is-nothing-sacred/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/01/05/is-nothing-sacred/#comments Sat, 05 Jan 2008 22:57:27 +0000 kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/01/05/is-nothing-sacred/ Poor Chase.

This was my brand new toorthbrush, given to me, special by the dentist because I brush my gums toohard. It has softer bristles than you can buy in the sotre. Thanks a lot "whoever!" Enjoy the toothbrush! I told you writing my name wouldn't change anything!

related: WoW, indeed

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/01/05/is-nothing-sacred/feed/ 139 When nature calls http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/01/02/when-nature-calls/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/01/02/when-nature-calls/#comments Wed, 02 Jan 2008 20:01:44 +0000 kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2007/01/01/when-nature-calls/ I thought it was pretty crazy when Jessie sent in this sign from a thrift store in Wilmington, North Carolina a few months years back…

PLEASE DO NOT USE DRESSING ROOMS AS A RESTROOM IN CASE OF AN EMERGENCY ASK FOR MANAGER. No utilice por favor los cuartos de preparacion como banos. En caso de que una emergencia, pida encargado.

Then Ashley sent in this eerily similar note from a thrift store in Barnegat, New Jersey. “The first time I noticed it, there was only one note,” Ashley says. “Weeks later, when I came back to photograph it, they had added a second. Obviously, just the one note on the door wasn’t getting the point across. How do they know that the perp doesn’t only speaks French? That could be the reason for the recurring problem.”

This is NOT a restroom. If you have an urgent necessary JUST ASK. You can use our restroom.

And still, it continues!

Alice saw one at a thrift store in Tennessee…

When I catch the low life piece of trash (And I will) using my dressing room to urineate in, instead of the bathroom, I will have you arrested. You are a vile, disgusting person and if you don't like this message, Come See Me! Owner Mangr

Caity in New Orleans spotted another at Goodwill in Covington, Louisiana…

THIS IS NOT A RESTROOM. Ask cashier for directions to restroom. DO NOT use fitting room to use for restroom. Management

And now this, from Stephanie in Wichita, Kansas. Says Stephanie: “For years at our neighborhood DAV thrift store there’s been a dressing room that has smelled like pee. Turns out we weren’t imagining it!”

Please Don't Use Our Dressing Rooms As A Bathroom....Thank You

Seriously, what is it about thrift store fitting rooms?

related: This is why your postal worker is disgruntled

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