Entries Tagged as 'karma’s a bitch'

We live in a nice community with nice neighbors (before you started posting notes)

June 16th, 2010 · 135 Comments

Chris found this not-so-nice note in the laundry room of his nice townhouse complex. What’s interesting here is how the author seems to undermine his or her own logic. (As Chris put it, “I know it’s really pathetic to steal a dryer sheet and a quarter, but really, is it that big of a deal?”)

If it’s not about the 25 cents, but rather, the principle of the thing, well…which is worse? To take a quarter from an empty laundry room, knowing that one of your neighbors left it there? Or to post a dick-ish anonymous note for all to see…instead of, say, keeping your damn quarters in your pocket like everybody else?

To the INDIGENT who stole MY dryer sheet and MY quarter that I left on MY washer while MY clothes were washing..and yes, I know who you are... Are you THAT fuckin poor that you have to steal a quarter??  Grow the fuck up.  We live in a nice community with nice neighbors (before you moved here). I've left quarters and dryer sheets on my washer many times, and they've never been taken til now. You can tape a dollar to this note if you have any kind of a conscience...otherwise, expect some bad karma comin back at ya...

related: I know where you live, laundry thief

Tags: ellipses-crazed · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · grow up · I know who you are · karma's a bitch · laundry · message to all intended for one · money · neighbors · stealing · Tucson

Which is more despicable?

November 30th, 2009 · 206 Comments

Exhibit A, as seen by an anonymous submitter in Seattle?

YOU TOOK THE VIDEO CAMERA AND ALL THE TAPES OF MY FIRST BORN CHILD'S BIRTH

…or exhibit B, as spotted by Mitch in Goldendale, Washington?

I'm sorry Tobby was stoled.

related: And God knows what

Tags: CAPS LOCK · comma diarrhea · confusion??? · exclamation-point happy!!!! · guilt trip · karma's a bitch · Seattle · spelling and grammar police · stealing · Washington state

Sincerely, Mr. Ed

July 15th, 2008 · 135 Comments

Our anonymous submitter in California — pleading innocence — says she was singled out with this note in a barn that houses 60 other horses and their hay.

Hello there, It has come to my attention that you are frequently out of hay. And there seems to be hay missing from a lot of people. My hay in particular seems to be going really fast. I keep careful track of my hay and there are people who are watching my things as well. I do realize that it is expensive to maintain a horse. And we all do what we can for the welfare of our horses. But taking someone's hay is not the answer. I really hope you find another way to deal with your situation. It this continues I will be forced to go to management. We all are here for the horses and there fore must get along, and by stealing you are breeding bad vibes. Also, if you continue to steal that is bad karma for you. What goes around comes around. Try to remember that the next time you steal my hay. Thanks

This note’s lack of obvious sitcom-ish puns — with the exception of “breeding good vibes” — makes me think that maybe I’ve been doing this too long…or perhaps that I haven’t been giving horses enough credit.

related: four legs good, two legs bad
extra credit: fourteen passive-aggressive appetizers [thenewyorker.com]

Tags: horses, cows, & chickens · I'm telling on you! · karma's a bitch · Los Angeles · stealing

Wet laundry’s a bitch

May 28th, 2008 · 212 Comments

Spotted by Anna on the wall of an apartment complex in Phoenix…

Enjoy your yeast infection! :)

Meanwhile, in Ottawa…it’s comforting to know that even when Mom isn’t there to do your laundry, she can still help you guilt-trip your neighbors.

To the person who rudely took my laundry out of this dryer and tossed it in a damp pile on the dirty shelf, I'm terrible sorry that your laundry had to wait the 5 mins it was taking me to come downstairs to remove my own laundry from the dryer. I'll tell my mom next time she shouldn't call me during laundry time as someone, such as yourself, may have to wait a few mins longer for the machine. I'm aware of the fact that there are only 2 machines for the entire building but give me a break - how rude can you possiblt be? Perhaps maybe in the future we can work out a time schedule so that my meger [sic] clothing doesn't interfere with your clearly superior laundry. Thanks for that.  P.S. I was planning on allowing my stuff to COMPLETELY dry and put more $ in the machine but your needs come first, I understand.

related: I wiped between my legs with those towels!

Tags: guilt trip · karma's a bitch · laundry · Moms & Dads · Ottawa · p.s. · Phoenix · sarcasm · thanks (but not really) · TL;DR

It’s not funny, it’s my sandwich

December 5th, 2007 · 138 Comments

Joe in Northern Virginia has amassed a pretty divine collection of office fridge notes over the years, the best of which portend various forms of karmic/economic/physical retribution.

IT's not funny! It's not a joke! It's STEALING...and it could cost you your job! Please be sure that you don't "accidentally" eat someone else's food!

BEWARE One of your coworkers is a thief and so completely lazy that they stole my sandwich. They stole a HOMEMADE sandwich. Who steals food in the first place? And honestly, who steals a non-packaged product? Do you really want something someone else handled? From now on, I suggest everyone sneezes on and profusely licks their food prior to bringing it to work. I know I will.

The the ignorant person who stole my lunch between yesterday and today: I just wanted to let you know that I have strep throat and you'll notice I had partially eaten the food. Don't be surprised if you get sick.

related: It must have been a pretty big bite

Tags: "accidental" "borrowing" · ellipses-crazed · food · karma's a bitch · licking · not-so-veiled threats · office · office fridge · Reston · stealing · Virginia