Entries Tagged as 'kids'

You dirty rat, you killed my childhood

September 21st, 2014 · 2 Comments

Sue in Northbrook, Illinois says that some 10 months after tricking her 6-year-old daughter with Jimmy Kimmel’s “I told my kids I ate all their Halloween candy” challenge, little Mia remembered the prank and, with a renewed sense of outrage, stormed off to express her anger in note form.

Mia’s mom notes that she’s normally referred to as “Mommy” by her daughter (and by her friends as “Sue”), so she knew she was in trouble when she saw this missive addressed to “Susan.”

Cupcakes are sweet like Mia. The ground is dirty like Susan. Why did you play the jolk [sic]

related: The Parent Tax

Tags: candy · Chicago · Halloween · kids · Mother-daughter notes

Discover nature at a National Park!

August 27th, 2014 · 66 Comments

By day: bears. By night: bird & bees. Gee, you’re right, Glacier National Park does sound like a pretty educational experience. (You’re welcome, notewriter!)

Dear neighbors, When taking our children to such a breathtaking park, we hoped they would learn a lot. We had no idea they could learn so much at the hotel too. Last night, for example, they learned that headboard pounding, drunken sex might annoy neighbors in six rooms, but at least it will only last three minutes. 10:38 to 10:41 to be exact. The early morning vomiting was the best lesson of all. Cheers!

related: Cross-country elevator action

Tags: hotels · kids · noise · sex sex sex

A bit of a spat over the pitter-patter of little feet

May 21st, 2014 · 159 Comments

Holly in Glendale, Arizona says her one-year-old daughter just learned how to walk, and (as toddlers do)  enjoys toddling around the apartment. Holly and her husband have tried explaining this to the downstairs neighbors, to no avail. “They bang on the ceiling, which scares the living sh*t out of my little girl,” Holly says, and have called the cops  — “whose response was to apologize for disturbing us.”

Now, Holly says, “As soon as my one-year-old walks into the kitchen, the woman who lives below us will immediately run up our stairs and throw herself against our door, screaming and threatening us.”

I feel you, Holly, but maybe those “my first stilettos” are a bit much?

Don't know what the hell you are doing up there all night but you do have neighbors whom live below you. The noise, stomping, and banging has got to stop. If it doesn't a complaint will be made and if it still continues the police. Please be courteous.

related: Please walk your elephant quietly!

extra credit: A baby elephant takes its first steps [youtube]

Tags: Arizona · kids · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats

Thank heaven for little girls

March 3rd, 2014 · 28 Comments

Writes our submitter, Amy: “In going through my late great-grandmother’s memorabilia trunk, I saw that she apparently kept a ‘thank you’ letter I wrote her when I was eight years old.” (Said Amy’s mother, of the discovery:  ”I clearly did not supervise the writing of this note.”)

Dear G.G. The five dollars were mostly spent on a record by the Village People. This letter is late because so was the five dollars. Thank you Sincerely Amy

related: Grandma saves granddaughter the trouble; writes thank you note to herself

Tags: family · kids · thanks (but not really)

The First World Problems of a 12-year-old boy

February 13th, 2014 · 115 Comments

Writes Peter in the UK:  ”My 12-year-old son is angry we won’t let him buy and Xbox One, mostly because he spends too much time online already. On the day this discussion happened, we found this note on the computer. (Clearly he has learned about different government systems from the newspaper, not in school…)”

I am very MAD; a person who I wish to remain nameless has UPSET me very much. This person claims that this household is a democracy when really it is COMMUNISM almost like NORTH KOREA, which in this day and age is completely unacceptable. I believe that this household should change to a DEMOCRACY, where everyone does not necessarily have equal rights, but is entitled to do what they want within reason. I am very ANGRY! :(

P.S. Peter, perhaps your little millennial Adrian Mole would be better of spending some time with this instead?

related: Emily declares freedom!

Tags: kids · Moms & Dads · sad face

Here’s to a resolutely insincere new year

December 30th, 2013 · 43 Comments

Jackie in Alfred, New York says she found this note stuffed under her bedroom door after taking away her 9-year-old son’s iPod and Nintento DS. (“He’s taken to sneaking them to school and lying about it,” she explains.)

To Mom and Dad: My N. Years Resolution is to never talk, be nice, or happy to you. Not sincerely, Jin  >:(

related: The Silent Treatment

Tags: kids · Moms & Dads

The sad thing is…

October 21st, 2013 · 27 Comments

Cristina in California had to smile when she saw the thank-you note her son composed to his friends. How’s that for subtlety?

Dear Conner, Dylan, and Ethan, Thank you for the spiderman legos. I wish I had a Wii too but the sad thing is I don't have one. Your buddy, Chase

And before you start in on “kids today” — I found a thank-you note my own father wrote to his grandparents circa 1958. Check out the P.S. on the back!

PS Thank you for sending Santa Claus money to bring me things for Christmas. Forgot these things: Space station, Drum Set, and Para-Jet. Love Tommy

related: (It’s my first fang.)

Tags: birthday · Christmas · kids

What is this, some sort of pissing contest?

October 10th, 2013 · 36 Comments

Our submitter spotted this sign next to the door of a video game shop in Australia. “I’m left wondering how often this must have occurred to warrant the sign,” she says.

Personally, my favorite part is the unusual choice of the word making. What exactly is going on here? (“That’s it, Alfie. If you really want Bioshock Infinite, you’d better face the wall and take a piss first!”)

PARENTS!! PLEASE STOP MAKING YOUR KIDS PISS IN THE GARDEN!! IT F#$%IN STINKS!!

related: How many times did this have to happen before they put up a sign?

Tags: exclamation-point happy!!!! · kids · odor · piss · pointlessly self-censored profanity · WTF?

Grandma, this is not your house!

October 2nd, 2013 · 78 Comments

Precious in Texas says that whenever her mother comes over to visit, “all she wants to do is clean my messy house.” One day, Precious says, her daughter, Allison — along with Allison’s 5-year-old cousin — decided to take matters into their own hands, writing this warning and handing it to their grandma “fast mail.” As for Grandma’s response, says Precious, “I had to read it to her because she was laughing so hard.”

Dear grandma this is not your house so stop cleaning it or else we will lock you in a safe and open it the day after. Did you like my [choice] of fast mail? P.S. Send the envelope back I don't have many

related: Never put nature aside for television

Tags: cleaning · family · Grandma · kids · not-so-veiled threats · p.s.

The stall-sanitizing shimmy

September 29th, 2013 · 51 Comments

Leah spotted this note in the changing area at Colman Pool in Seattle, a city she describes as “the epicenter of passive-aggressive communication.” Adds Leah: “I like the image of the kid’s shimmying out under the stall door as being a nifty method of floor cleaning. It’s both disgusting and passive-aggressive in the extreme!”

To the kid who locks the stall door and crawls out under the door: Thank you for using your swimsuit to mop dirt, germs, and wet toilet paper off of our restroom floor. We appreciate the extra help keeping the facility clean. If you would like to volunteer for more dirty jobs, please come visit us at the office. We have plenty of other tasks, like cleaning hair balls from the drains and scraping gum off the deck, which we would be happy to train you to do. Thanks! Colman Pool Staff

related: A few reasons not to feel sad that the public pool is closed for the season

Tags: bathroom · kids · Seattle · swimming pool · thanks (but not really) · that's disgusting