PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » kids

No Dumping Zone

Kerry — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 04:40:05 +0000

To me this sounds suspiciously like an episode of The League, but Stephen from Cherry Hill, New Jersey claims his daughter recently caught him heading into the bathroom “for a little sit-down,” laptop in hand. When five-year-old Rosie asked why Daddy was bringing his computer into the fecal mist zone, he replied, “Multi-tasking.”

A few minutes later, Rosie slipped the following note under the door. (The drawing had already been done earlier.)

Translation: What are you thinking Dad? That’s a horrible thing to do.

Can you really argue with her?

Daddy dearest

Kerry — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 00:56:53 +0000

Writes Virginia in Sumner, Washington: “Going through a box of old photographs in the attic, I found this birthday card I gave my father when I was five or six. I was a terrible child.”

related: Some daughterly wisdom for Dad

Tangled

Kerry — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 23:44:50 +0000

Julie in Milwaukee has been trying to drag her nine-year-old daughter to get a haircut for ages. The day of the planned trim, Mom found this prize bit of melodrama waiting on her bed.

related: A Mother’s Day Report Card

Thanks for throwing me under the sleigh, kids

Kerry — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 18:05:26 +0000

Writes Kristie in Tacoma, Washington: “My kids totally threw me under the bus in order to cover their tails for Santa.”

I just want to know the truth!

Kerry — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 20:07:03 +0000

Below: the first of many heartbreaking childhood disappointments to come for Kaeton’s six-year-old cousin, Laylah.

extra credit: Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus

You’re a good student, but not my best speller

Kerry — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 19:19:01 +0000

Writes Mrs. McMahon in Melbourne, Australia: “One of the students in my class decided to make a a big card for World Teachers Day and have it signed by all her peers in our grade. When I read this message, I could not stop laughing.”

While My Magnadoodle Gently Weeps

Kerry — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 00:15:51 +0000

Dave‘s eight-year-old daughter is a huge of the Beatles…and at this moment, a not-so-huge fan of her father.

Dave, perhaps in a few years she’ll appreciate that, if nothing else, at least you spared her the unibrow gene?

related: Abbey Road idiots

extra credit:

Today’s lesson: not-so-friendly letters

Kerry — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 01:35:35 +0000

As part of a lesson about civic responsibility, many teachers encourage their students to participate in letter-writing campaigns to Congress, the school board, the Mayor, or other public figures. (Thanks to the efforts of second-graders in Mission, Texas, for example, Texans can now proudly refer to tortilla chips and salsa as their official “state snack.”)

Meanwhile, this teacher in Ypsilanti, Michigan enlisted her 18 middle-school students in a cause even closer to home — her home, that is — by getting them each to write a persuasive letter asking her noisy neighbor to curb his all-night partying.

Hello Kitty says: “Unconditional love can be complicated!”

Kerry — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 16:11:34 +0000

Melody in Schenectady, New York says her 7-year-old daughter, Emma, is constantly writing little stories and whatnot, which inevitably end up all over the house. As Melody was picking up some of Emma’s latest scraps, she found this note addressed to her 4-year-old sister.

related: S is for sibling rivalry

“Write what you know,” as the saying goes

Kerry — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 19:29:02 +0000

When Shelby‘s third-grade son was having trouble with his homework assignment (two paragraphs of creative writing a day), her suggestion was to just write about what came to mind first. As she realized later when she found the page in a stack of old school work: “He did not hold back.”

related: “Drunk Mommy”

extra credit: “Don’t Write What You Know” [theAtlantic.com]

Isn’t starting middle school torture enough?

Kerry — Sun, 21 Aug 2011 18:22:40 +0000

Hollie in Portland, Oregon spotted this note on the second-floor landing as she was walking up to her apartment.

While I’m usually not in favor of note-leaving when a direct confrontation would do, I give this one a pass — creative spelling and all — because, really, have you ever met a middle schooler without an an attitude? I’d say forcing a kid to make it through eighth grade is enough of an ass-kicking already.

It’s my spot and I’ll park what I want to

Kerry — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 22:55:15 +0000

Kate in Melbourne caught a glimpse of this note from the street, and it looked so ridiculous that she snuck into the private lot to get a closer look. Adds Kate: “I imagine this person is quite popular with the neighbours.”

(By the way, Kate apologizes for the poor resolution of the photos; she only had her mobile phone with her at the time.)

extra credit: This kid parallel parks better than I do [youtube]

The Tooth Fairy meets Tiger Mother, with a dash of “Go the F**k to Sleep”

Kerry — Wed, 20 Jul 2011 00:47:09 +0000

If you’re too jaded to handle the cuteness factor of kids’ overly-demanding notes to the Tooth Fairy, you still might get kick out of this tooth-in-cheek note from the Tooth Fairy herself.

Explains Mindi (a.k.a. Mindy) from Santa Cruz, California: “In elementary school, I played the string bass in the school orchestra, and my parents were paying for private tutoring lessons. Obviously, I wasn’t practicing enough!”

Adds Mindi: “I later cut this out and put it in my scrapbook. (The ‘really?’ on the side was mine.)”

extra credit: Go to F**ck to Sleep [amazon.com]

Possibly the best Tooth Fairy letters of all time

Kerry — Sun, 10 Jul 2011 23:36:03 +0000

Writes Carolyn in Brooklyn: “My youngest daughter, Annisa, clearly had a problem with her recalcitrant tooth fairy. This is a series of letters, including an envelope, that I saved from her early years. I have no doubt that her finely tuned negotiating skills were developed as a result.” The best part? Annisa, who just turned 31 on Saturday, is now — no joke — a Director of Human Resources.”

(I really didn’t think this tooth-fairy letter could be topped, but in terms of sheer precociousness — not to mention determination — I think we have a new winner.)