Entries Tagged as 'kids'

The sad thing is…

October 21st, 2013 · 27 Comments

Cristina in California had to smile when she saw the thank-you note her son composed to his friends. How’s that for subtlety?

Dear Conner, Dylan, and Ethan, Thank you for the spiderman legos. I wish I had a Wii too but the sad thing is I don't have one. Your buddy, Chase

And before you start in on “kids today” — I found a thank-you note my own father wrote to his grandparents circa 1958. Check out the P.S. on the back!

PS Thank you for sending Santa Claus money to bring me things for Christmas. Forgot these things: Space station, Drum Set, and Para-Jet. Love Tommy

related: (It’s my first fang.)

Tags: birthday · Christmas · kids

What is this, some sort of pissing contest?

October 10th, 2013 · 36 Comments

Our submitter spotted this sign next to the door of a video game shop in Australia. “I’m left wondering how often this must have occurred to warrant the sign,” she says.

Personally, my favorite part is the unusual choice of the word making. What exactly is going on here? (“That’s it, Alfie. If you really want Bioshock Infinite, you’d better face the wall and take a piss first!”)

PARENTS!! PLEASE STOP MAKING YOUR KIDS PISS IN THE GARDEN!! IT F#$%IN STINKS!!

related: How many times did this have to happen before they put up a sign?

Tags: exclamation-point happy!!!! · kids · odor · piss · pointlessly self-censored profanity · WTF?

Grandma, this is not your house!

October 2nd, 2013 · 78 Comments

Precious in Texas says that whenever her mother comes over to visit, “all she wants to do is clean my messy house.” One day, Precious says, her daughter, Allison — along with Allison’s 5-year-old cousin — decided to take matters into their own hands, writing this warning and handing it to their grandma “fast mail.” As for Grandma’s response, says Precious, “I had to read it to her because she was laughing so hard.”

Dear grandma this is not your house so stop cleaning it or else we will lock you in a safe and open it the day after. Did you like my [choice] of fast mail? P.S. Send the envelope back I don't have many

related: Never put nature aside for television

Tags: cleaning · family · Grandma · kids · not-so-veiled threats · p.s.

The stall-sanitizing shimmy

September 29th, 2013 · 50 Comments

Leah spotted this note in the changing area at Colman Pool in Seattle, a city she describes as “the epicenter of passive-aggressive communication.” Adds Leah: “I like the image of the kid’s shimmying out under the stall door as being a nifty method of floor cleaning. It’s both disgusting and passive-aggressive in the extreme!”

To the kid who locks the stall door and crawls out under the door: Thank you for using your swimsuit to mop dirt, germs, and wet toilet paper off of our restroom floor. We appreciate the extra help keeping the facility clean. If you would like to volunteer for more dirty jobs, please come visit us at the office. We have plenty of other tasks, like cleaning hair balls from the drains and scraping gum off the deck, which we would be happy to train you to do. Thanks! Colman Pool Staff

related: A few reasons not to feel sad that the public pool is closed for the season

Tags: bathroom · kids · Seattle · swimming pool · thanks (but not really) · that's disgusting

You know what, kid? Maybe you need to start packing your own lunch.

September 24th, 2013 · 92 Comments

Christina in Marietta, Georgia says her 7-year-old daughter pointedly handed her this note when she picked up after school. “For the record,” Christina says, “The bread was fresh, just multigrain instead of whole wheat. The cheese was simply a different brand of Swiss cheese. Both were bought the day before.”

Today on my sandwich the bread was stale and the chese was rotten.

Meanwhile, Steph in St. Paul, Minnesota received this missive from her 6-year-old after running out of garlic salt to sprinkle on her “macken cheese,” thus beginning a 15-month boycott. (“Honestly though,” says Steph, “I don’t think mac & cheese is very healthy anyway, so…”)

 I DO NOT Wont My MackEn chees I absilootly hate macken chees pick owt anether thing but not macken cheese

Finally, Beth in New Jersey got this “friendly letter” sent home from school with her 7-year-old son.

Dear Mom, Please do not give me Sun Chips. I hate them! Write back soon.

related: I love you, Mommy. Your sandwiches? Not so much.

Tags: cheese · food · kids · most popular notes of 2013 · Mother-daughter notes

The Big Brother’s Guide to Little Sisters

September 16th, 2013 · 52 Comments

When she was growing up, Jennifer in New York says she always wanted a big brother. “Now that I have three children of my own,” she writes, “I thought I could live vicariously through my daughter, the middle child.” However, finding this “to-do list” on top of her eldest son’s homework has made her consider that vision. (God help this kid’s future crushes!)

Friday: spy Saturday: scare her Sunday: run away Monday: hide trains Tuesday: sneak and pinch her butt Wednesday: copy her Thursday: go see her when going to bathroom Friday: steal her backpack Saturday: baby talk Sunday: sneak under the piano when she is practicing Monday: talk about funny things about her on facebook Tuesday: hide library books (if she has some)

related: No girls allowed!

Tags: kids · most popular notes of 2013 · not so much passive-aggressive · siblings

A Dance Mom Intervention

August 15th, 2013 · 59 Comments

I have to give Kim’s daughter credit here for saying what most TLC/Lifetime viewers are shouting at their television screens while watching the antics of the “Momagers” behind all those would-be dancers/ice skaters/gymnasts/pageant queens. I’m with you, kid!

My mom loves dance I don't. My mom should do it instead of me if she likes it so much.

I don't even like dancing. I'm just here because my mom said she would buy me tacos.

related: Never put nature aside for television

Tags: kids · most popular notes of 2013 · Mother-daughter notes

Waterfoul

June 23rd, 2013 · 25 Comments

Used books can be a real treasure trove for found notes. Jessica in Mandeville, Louisiana recently found this gem while straightening up the bookshelves at work one night.  “It’s now posted, in all its glory, in the front office for all employees to see,” says Jessica (no relation to Asheley or her Dad, by the way.)

Dear Jessica & Ashely's Dad, Hey I am one of Jessica's friends And she told me that you shot a duck. did you know that that duck could be one of Daffy Ducks children.

related: Dear Santa, do you whip your reindeer?

Tags: kids · Louisiana

A Father’s Day Poem

June 16th, 2013 · 22 Comments

Deborah in Townsville, Australia says her 9-year-old son, Connor, made this card for her husband, a keen cyclist. “Clearly, Connor is aware of the inherently risky nature of cycling,” Deborah says. “Either that or the word ‘dead’ just rhymed well.”

Dad you are great at sport. You always support. But when it is time to go to bed I always just pray your [sic] not dead.

related: My Dad weighs 15 pounds, does not have a job, and likes to wear shirts.

Tags: Australia · Father-son notes · kids · Moms & Dads · pure poetry

Baby Teeth, $10 OBO

May 23rd, 2013 · 65 Comments

“No, she didn’t lose three teeth in one day,” says Jenny in Texas, regarding her 7-year-old daughter, Zelda. “She was just hoping to graduate from $1 per tooth to $10 based on experience. (But she’s totally negotiable if that’s not cool with you, Tooth Fairy.)”

Dear Tooth Fairy, I have lost 3 baby teeth. Can I have 10 1 dollar bills, please. Love, Zelda! P.S. I am negotiable

related: Possibly the Best Tooth Fairy letter of all time

Tags: kids · money