Entries Tagged as 'kids'

Well, at least she reads?

August 29th, 2012 · 153 Comments

Our submitter passes along this bratty-but-pretty-much-toothless note written by her niece, Samantha. Explains our submitter: “Yellow Fang’s Secret is a book in the ‘Warrior’ series (about clans of cats). It isn’t actually going to be published until October.”

Not Dear-Mommy. We will not do anything you want until you do what we want. Which is - DUH - getting Yellow Fang's Secret for my Kindle. It's my Kindle, you know. If you don't I will not get out of my school clothes and both Sophie and I will not leave our room. not-so-love, Samantha, and Sophie!! !! !! !!

related: More not-so-threatening threats by kids

extra credit: “Why Are American Kids So Spoiled?” [newyorker.com]

Tags: kids · Mother-daughter notes · sad face

I love you, Mommy. Your sandwiches? Not so much.

August 16th, 2012 · 36 Comments

Rita in Utah was on the phone when her daughter handed her this note (less than a month into the school year). Says Rita: “I love how she tries to ‘soften the blow!’”

Dear Mommy, I Love You...but I want to buy school lunch tomoroe [sic]. thank you!

Gold star, kiddo. There are some adults who could take some note-writing pointers from you.

related: When kids “punish” their parents with the silent treatment

Tags: food · kids · Mother-daughter notes · not so much passive-aggressive · Utah

The Parent Tax

July 30th, 2012 · 99 Comments

Well, Dad? What have you got to say for yourself?

Dear Daddy, Last night (4/24/12)I was looking for your hole puncher. (for mamas mothers day presant. I didn't find it. I looked inside in hopes to find the hole puncher. Instead I found my Halloween candy. I know it was Halloween because of the stickers inside of it. When (last year after Halloween) I asked you were it was you said "Oh, that's long gone by now." So you lied to my face. Also, now I'm strongly suspicious that for consecutive years you have been stealing our candy. I really want my candy back. It is rightfully mine. So I think you should give it back. Your Daughter, Callie

(Thanks to Katie in Kansas City for submitting!)

related: Why didn’t you tell me the tooth fairy wasn’t real?

Tags: candy · Halloween · kids · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2012

That’s a drawing of a grill, okay?

July 26th, 2012 · 39 Comments

Okay, I think everyone’s had enough of the Outdoor Cat Debate of 2012. Perhaps a little double entendre to lighten the mood? Alrighty then!

This piece by Jamie’s daughter was hanging on the wall outside her classroom during Parent’s Day at the school. “She had no idea why it was funny to us,” Jamie says. (Her daughter’s teacher, meanwhile…)

My mother's favorite food is Dad's meet [sic]

related: “Drunk Mommy”

P.S. The passive-aggressive part of this note is the crappy watermark. I hate watermarks. Screw you, karma/pageview whores!

Tags: double-entendre alert · kids · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2012 · not so much passive-aggressive

Warning: This pool contain dihydrogen monoxide!

July 23rd, 2012 · 21 Comments

Apparently, Von says, somebody at the Homeowners Association got fed up with kids swimming in and jumping off of a decorative fountain at the neighborhood swimming pool, so the Board of Directors put up this sign. “The funny part,” he says, “is that the water from the fountain flows directly into the actual pool.”  (No word on how long it took the kids to figure that one out.)

Heavy Chemicals in Fountain Pool May Cause Severe Burns or Death

And then there’s this…

This is posted at the city pool. The children now live in fear.

related: Small-town Swimming Pool Rules

Tags: kids · Mississippi · swimming pool

Please, Mom, anything but showers!

July 17th, 2012 · 30 Comments

Explains a mom in Oregon: “This note was left outside the kids’ bedroom door after I sent them to a time out for pouring all of the shampoo and facewash in the entire bathroom into the bathtub. I told them I couldn’t trust them not to do that so they would have to stick to showers instead of baths for the time being.”

Man, I just love it when kids threaten their parents with the silent treatment.

Please, Mom, anything but showers!

 

related: An official declaration of the silent treatment

Tags: kids · most popular notes of 2012 · Mother-son notes · Oregon

My Dad weighs 15 pounds, does not have a job, and likes to wear shirts.

June 26th, 2012 · 87 Comments

Jill’s seven-year-old son “made” this for his Dad at school. “We’d like to think the near-complete lack of effort reflects a lack of enthusiasm for school assignments and is not a sign of a profound rift in his relationship with his father,” she says.

“And for the record, my husband is not 20 years old, weights more than 15 pounds and is taller than 2’1″. And he has a job, as a writer. (Which, to be fair, can sure look a lot like “unemployed” sometimes.)

My Dad's Favorites Food: I don't know Dessert: No idea Game to play: ? Sport to watch: hockey on TV Restaurant: Does not have one My favorite memory with my dad is: I don't have one. My dad is the best in the family at: NO ANSWER. At his job, my dad: He does not have a job.  When not at work, my dad likes to: ? My dad is: 20 years old. My dad is: 2 ft 1 in tall. My dad weighs 15 pounds. My dad has gray hair. My dad has black eyes. My dad likes to wear shirts. My dad is special to me because...He is special to me but I don't have a reason.

P.S. The bit at the bottom says: “He is special to me but I don’t have a reason.”

related: “Drunk Mommy”

Tags: Canada · Father-son notes · kids · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2012 · schools & teachers

Father’s Day Faux Pas

June 17th, 2012 · 48 Comments

Based on the dots between the words (a technique picked up at Montessori School), Lauren in Vancouver estimates she was about six years old when she wrote this note (translation below):

Dad, I am angry because you throwed away your father’s day present. If I catch you doing it again, I will hit you hard. Signed, Lauren.

Dad, I am angry because you throwed away your father's day present. If I catch you doing it again, I will hit you hard. Signed, Lauren.

In her father’s defense, “The gift in question was a giant, brightly-coloured fish made out of paper and stuffed with newsprint,” Lauren says. “I remember finding the ‘present’ in the garbage and putting it back on my father’s desk, which is probably where the threat came in.”

And then, of course, there’s the troll dad approach…

Troll dad does it right

related: An honest Father’s Day card

extra credit: Dads on Vacation [tumblr]

Tags: Father-daughter notes · kids · Moms & Dads · not-so-veiled threats

The Silent Treatment

June 8th, 2012 · 68 Comments

Tom’s daughter, Meg, was upset that her mother made her a grilled cheese sandwich for dinner, so she wrote this note to inform her mom of her “punishment.”

Sorry Mom but you knew I do not like cheese I am not going to talk!

Meanwhile, in Salt Lake City, six-year-old Elizabeth tried a similar approach. Her parents were so amused they’ve held on the note for decades since then.

I have taped my mouth shut so I won't have a crying fit. I hope you're happy I really do mom and dad

When I have kids, I really hope I can manipulate them into this sort of thinking…

related: Buckets of my Tears

Tags: cheese · kids · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2012

Praise the Lord and pass the sibling rivalry!

April 6th, 2012 · 38 Comments

Kaylee in Colorado recently found this note when going through a box of old stuff at her parents’ house. At the time this was written, she says, “I would have been about 6 and my brother 10. I fought my boredom during our weekly visits to church by doodling and writing my mother notes.”

Dear Mom, PRAISE THE LORD!! I love you, and thank you for bringing me to praise the lord each day. I love the Lord. Thank you for marring dad and making Wesley and I brother and sister. But I think you should of had me first. Love, Kaylee PS on back

P.S. Kaylee says the “PS.” on the back was “let dad read note.”

related: Happy Passover, fatty!

Tags: family · God · kids · siblings · signed with love