Entries Tagged as 'kids'

A thinly veiled tattletale

August 19th, 2010 · 27 Comments

While sorting through some old papers, Christina in Natick, Massachusetts was about to throw away this childhood note she had written to her Mom (and Dad too!), when her husband, Aaron, intervened. (Apparently no amount of coaxing could tease out exactly what horrible sin Paul committed, so feel free to speculate wildly.)

Dear Mom, Paul was not nice to me while you were away. I don't want to to tell you what he did because I love you very much. (Dad, too) Hope you had a good time, you know. Love, Christina P.S. Brigid is a pain right where I sit!

P.S. Hope you enjoyed it, you know.

related: Be sure to say goodbye forever

Tags: heart · kids · Moms & Dads · p.s. · siblings · signed with love

The mother-son relationship is always “special”

August 11th, 2010 · 53 Comments

At the local community centre, Isabel in Bolton, England (Home of the “White Men”) spotted this board put together by some Sunday School children entitled “My Mum is Special.” (Kudos to the teachers for allowing the kids considerable latitude in how they chose to define “special.”)

My Mum is special because...She is very forgetfull [sic] and never listens. -Jacob

related: My Mommy is special because she has a potty mouth.

Tags: kids · Moms & Dads · U.K.

The firstborn, dethroned

July 26th, 2010 · 67 Comments

I think it’s actually pretty amazing how Kathy‘s six-year-old daughter — feeling a wee bit neglected now that there’s a baby brother on the scene — has managed to capture the love/hate essence of the “I’m no longer an only child” crisis in words, however adorably misspelled. (As the oldest of four kids myself, my mother will never let me forget that my method of expressing those feelings — temper tantrums — was considerably less cute.)

Do not come in.  I never get [attention].  Thank you.  Love Samantha. [Only] come in if you give me [attention.]

related: Sibling rivalry, the rift that keeps on giving

extra credit: “Does Birth Order Matter?” [nytimes.com]

Tags: family · kids · New Hampshire · siblings · signed with love

God’s word is…well, a little confusing, at least for a 7-year-old.

July 18th, 2010 · 49 Comments

Larissa in Tacoma, Washington recently sent her 7-year-old son, Silas, to a week of Bible camp. When he came home, Larissa says, she wondered if the experience hadn’t left him a bit…conflicted…especially after seeing the pillow he made during craft time.

(“Rouls,” by the way, is not Silas’s last name. That’s the 7-year-old spelling of “RULES.”)

Silas [rules] —  God's Word is Comforting —  DOOM

Meanwhile, I can see how the sign below, from a candy store in Rayne, Louisiana — which I assume was intended to deter this theft — could easily send a particular type of child into a tailspin of religious guilt.

Is God smiling? How do I know if God’s smiling? Does God like chocolate? I don’t think chocolate’s in the Bible. But Proverbs says: ‘My child, eat honey, for it is good.’ So maybe I should get a Bit o’ Honey instead. But a Bit o’ Honey costs more than 50 cents, and Mom said I could only spend 50 cents. So then I’d be dishonoring my parents, and that wouldn’t make God happy. So maybe I should…maybe I should….[bursts into tears]

Remember...God is watching you. Is He smiling or is He sad?

related: What Would Jesus Do for a Klondike Bar?

Tags: candy · God · guilt trip · Jesus · kids · Louisiana · not so much passive-aggressive · retail hell · Tacoma

The joys of teaching

July 1st, 2010 · 99 Comments

Our submitter, an English teacher in Thailand, received this letter from a parent so notorious at the school for notes like this that she has her own nickname among the staff — “SS, as in nuttier than squirrel shit.” The exasperating part, our submitter says, is the mother’s uncanny ability to “correct” non-mistakes in her daughter’s essays. (“As you may guess from reading, the daughter’s English is better than her own,” she says.)

And as tempted as she was to correct the mother’s grammar in her note, “I had to stop, for fear of my head exploding.”

Hope we are on the same direction

If that note left a bit of a bad taste in your mouth (or you’re one of those short-attention span “TL;DR types,”) not to worry: enjoy this end-of-the-year note written to a first-grade teacher in Atlanta. No, it’s not passive-aggressive…just adorable.

Dear Mr. [Redacted], You were the best teacher a student could ever have!  I love my class too!  I am sad that I'm going to second grade.  If I had a choice between you getting killed and my favorite tree getting chopped down, I would choose my favorite tree getting chopped down.

related: Sympathy for the Devil

Tags: Atlanta · kids · schools & teachers · Thailand · TL;DR

Some daughterly wisdom for Dad, on Father’s Day

June 20th, 2010 · 33 Comments

In lieu of a Father’s Day gift, Sarah in D.C. says her 13-year-old cousin posted this note on the front door of their house the night before, so her Dad could see it when got up this morning for her Sunday walk. “According to her, it’s the thought that counts anyway,” Sarah says. “I thought it was really sweet, but the post script is the best.”

DEAR DADDY: Happy Father's Day! Thanks for all. I'll study hard, don't worry, and I don't have any plans of having a boyfriend. Love lots, [redacted 13-year-old daughter] P.S. Practice controlling your anger dad, mwa! :)

related: Dear Dad, I hate you less than the other parental unit. Happy Father’s Day!

Tags: kids · Moms & Dads · p.s. · signed with love

Dear Dad, I hate you less than the other parental unit. Happy Father’s Day!

June 17th, 2010 · 57 Comments

“My daughter is six and hyper after school,” writes Shannon in Jacksonville, North Carolina. “One day, I told her to go outside and play, but she wanted to watch TV.” Later, while cooking dinner, Shannon found this Magna-doodled on the fridge.

I love Daddy more than you Mom

After being forced into a similar “bad cop” role, Maria in Long Beach, California found this message from her nine-year-old son on the patio.

I like dad better

Meanwhile, our submitter in Pennsylvania found this in a journal her nine-year-old daughter was throwing away. Interestingly, she says, “There was no ‘I HATE daddy’ written on the next page.”

The next page that says I HATE Daddy isn't true at all.

related: Daddy’s little smartass

 

Tags: Father-daughter notes · kids · Moms & Dads

My bite is worse than your bark

June 14th, 2010 · 107 Comments

Although she’s embarrassed to admit it now, Kristi in Portland confesses that when she wrote this letter, at age 14, she felt oh-so-very-grown-up.

In retrospect, she says, the most ridiculous part — besides the charmingly pretentious tone throughout — is probably the self-made letterhead. “I guess I thought the frog made for a good personal logo or something,” Kristi says. ”To my credit, I didn’t send the letter anonymously…I included my full name (first, middle and last), my address, my phone number AND my e-mail address. I only left off my Social Security number!”

Dear Sir or Madam, This must come to an end! Last year, every night for almost an entire summer, your dogs would bark late into the night disturbing my peace and thus threatening my sanity as I was allowed only a few precious hours of sleep per night. For some reason, this has not occurred often recently, and for that I am grateful. However, tonight, that peace was once again broken. I am certain that I am not the only neighbor in the area who has been kept awake because of your pets.I am a fourteen year old student, trying my hardest to complete my sophomore year of high school maintaining good grades. However, to do this, I need to be paying attention in my classes. To do this, I need to be awake, and in order to stay awake, I need to be able to sleep at night. This evening, I was very glad because I finished all the things that I needed to do earlier than usual (despite my inability to concentrate on a book for English due to the incessant barking) and was ready to go to bed at 10:30 p.m. However, once I was in bed, the dogs started to get noisy again. I tried to ignore it, but after half-an hour of restlessness, I finally got up, got dressed and came over to your house and rang your door-bell. I was not surprised that you were not at home, because I assume that if you were, you would not have tolerated the animals' behavior. I do not know if you even realize that whenever you are away, your dogs bark on and off all through the night, so now I am telling you. Please take whatever actions necessary to ensure that this bad habit ends here, whether that means just locking them inside while you are away, or possibly leaving them with friends or if it comes down to it, in a kennel. I know that I would appreciate it, as well as my family and assuming the surrounding neighbors would as well. Please, do not allow your animals behavior to deprive us of the sleep that we need to function reasonably and sanely. Thank You, Kristi

Adds Kristi: “My parents still live next door to these neighbors, and I avoid them to this day! Oh, and yes, they did try to keep their dogs indoors more after I sent the letter.”

related: Your to lazy

Tags: dogs · kids · neighbors · nice stationery · noise · Portland

Stupid is as stuiped does

May 26th, 2010 · 79 Comments

CT and his friends were driving home from the beach when they stopped at a gas station in Luverne, Alabama and found this posted next to the men’s bathroom.

“The ‘Danger!’ sign below was apparently the first attempt to keep people from opening this door,” says CT. “God only knows what’s behind it. I’m assuming this door of unspeakable power continued to get opened, prompting the posting of the second sign.”

If you open this door your [sic] either can't read or your [sic] stuiped [sic].

Hey, I feel your pain, gas station attendant, having to deal with so much stupidity all day long. But — with the help of Rachael in Portland — I think I’ve found someone else who can relate.

Allow me to introduce Lily. She’s 8.

Today my stuiped [sic] MOM thought I spanked my STUIPED [sic] sister with a spoon. Then my mom was working and she told me to go to my room. When I asked her if she could come here she said No I'm doing something more important so I'm not important I guess. Heart, Lily

related: An anonymous rant against anonymity

Tags: Alabama · gas station · kids · Portland · spelling and grammar police · your/you're

From the Mixed-Up Files of Joan Jett

May 17th, 2010 · 59 Comments

Emily says her parents in Massachusetts recently dug out this note from the family archives, written when Emily was six. (She’s now a high school English teacher.)

“None of us have any recollection of the circumstances surrounding it,” Emily says, “but my mother must have done something pretty awful to warrant such a melodramatic note, my six-year-old rage boiling just below the surface.”

Mom, I'm going to run away tomorrow at 9:30 when you are Dad are sleeping. Be sure to say goodbye forever. Emily P.S. I will be packing tonight

Adds Emily: “Given my use of the word ‘steepping,’ I also apparently confused my parents with bags of tea.”

related: My Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Parents

Tags: kids · Massachusetts · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2010 · Mother-daughter notes · p.s.