Entries Tagged as 'kinda creepy'

“I’m not creepy, I swear”

June 9th, 2014 · 88 Comments

Writes our submitter in Texas: “We live on a military installation, where the housing is notoriously small and right on top of each other. We’ve gotten to know our neighbors very well, and the author of this note is most likely someone we consider a good friend.”

Dear #7- My wife wants me to tell you to tell your wife to stop

Our submitter humble-brags that yes, his wife is incredibly attractive, but insists that her clothing isn’t overtly “sexy” — tank tops and shorts, yes, but not crop tops and hot pants.  However, he says, “Since we discovered this on Friday, my wife has taken to wearing baggy t-shirts and sweatpants when she’s out in the yard. I don’t blame her one bit.”

Dear #7- My wife wants me to tell you to tell your wife to stop "dressing sexy" because it's offensive or something. Sorry but your wife is hot and I would appreciate it if she didn't bend to my wife's crazy jealousy. But if she asks feel free to tell her I asked her to dress "more appropriately!" I'm also jealous - that you get to hit that every night. Those kids are adopted, right?!?  - the neighbors   PS if your wife really wants to piss her off, tell her to wear that hot pink thing with the strings and the matching pink stripper shoes!!!   PPS I'm not creepy I swear, I just appreciate a fine looking woman when I see one!

Amping up the creepiness factor, our submitter adds that his wife DOES own a pair of pink shoes – but she’s never worn them outside the house.

related: (Don’t fear) the creeper

Tags: a matter of taste · kinda creepy · military · neighbors · p.s. · sex sex sex · Texas

Can’t you go back to parking down by the river?

March 5th, 2014 · 67 Comments

Writes Jack in Seattle: “A friend of ours is a professional tile setter and general handyman. Sometimes he stays over and parks his work van on our block. We found this note on his windshield one morning after Sunday brunch. It’s so typically ‘Seattle’ it’s hard to be offended.”

No offense but this van looks hella creepy at night.  can you park it in front of someone else's house from now on.  I'd really appreciate it.  Thanks :) -easily creeped out neighbor

Meanwhile, Charon noticed that this van-owner in Couer d’Alene, Idaho did get offended, “apparently because he owns a creepy van and people pointed out that it was creepy.”

hey lady I own a home next to the school, I like this van, and now I've been profiled for driving home. I work at the Hayden Library, my wife nurses the dying, you owe us an apology.

P.S. Van owner: Maybe “I own a home next to the school” wasn’t the best way to get your point across here?

related: I don’t know you, and this is crazy…but your boyfriend’s hot, and your parking’s lazy.

extra credit: the 10 creepiest vans [jalopnik.com]

Tags: Idaho · kinda creepy · parking · Seattle · smiley

I don’t know you, and this is crazy, but your boyfriend’s hot, and your parking’s lazy.

February 3rd, 2014 · 80 Comments

Writes Candice in Kansas: “I woke up to this on my car this morning. I don’t not know if I should be pissed they are creepin’ on my man or to just laugh uncontrollably.”

(Dear notewriter: Notice she didn’t say “…or stop parking there.”)

Hi, I don't really know you, in fact, I don't at all! You live upstairs and have a hot boyfriend/maybe just a roommate or friend with an adorable puppy. One time, however, you did give me a dirty look, but I've gotten over it. I write this to beg you to stop being lazy with your parking. I get it, t's cold. Life sucks and who wants to park in back. But where you parked now is blocking cars from getting in the drive. You totally are an inventor because you invented some new LAZY GIRL SPOT that's 4 feet from the door! I think you're a brilliant inventor but maybe move back 10 feet. You're not the only person alive! p.s. SORRY NOTE SORRY I love your boyfriend

related: She’s mine. All mine!

 

Tags: Kansas · kinda creepy · neighbors · parking

She’s mine. All mine!

November 18th, 2012 · 68 Comments

A certain supervisor thought his assistant, Sandra, was attracting too much idle chatter from other people in the office, so he made this framed notice for her desk. (Because that’s not creepy at all.)

“No word yet on how many contributions he’s received,” our submitter says.

IF YOU CHOOSE TO SPEAK TO SANDRA YOU CHOOSE TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE PAYING OF HER SALARY...

related: The Man is always watching

Thx Sandra!!!

Tags: Canada · crazy boss · kinda creepy · most popular notes of 2012 · office

There’s stealing candy from children, and then there’s…this.

November 8th, 2012 · 37 Comments

“How low do you have to go to steal flowers from someone’s grave?” wonders Ash in East Lansing, Michigan.

Please do not steal my father's flowers again. He did not do anything to you. Shame!

At the very least, I suppose, you’ve have to be someone untroubled by the prospect of being publicly chided or privately haunted. In Providence, Rhode Island, Moira noticed that the flowers at this memorial had very recently been dug up again.

To the Person(s) who has stolen the flowers from this bench at least twice this summer: These flowers were placed as a rememberance of Sheryl Jacobson and Maggie who are memorialized by this bench.  They were donated by a private person for the enjoyment of everyone who uses the park. You are not stealing from the city, but from the people who care about the beauty of this park. Shame on you! May the spirits of Sheryl and Maggie haunt you for your selfishness.

related: Rolling over in his grave

extra credit: “Man arrested for stealing flowers off graves to give to girlfriend”

Tags: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · kinda creepy · Michigan · public shaming · stealing

In the spirit of the holidays…enjoy the pipe bomb!

December 16th, 2011 · 36 Comments

My friend Amy and her husband recently had a UPS package stolen from their front porch. Thanks to the wonders of a home security camera, they were able to see that the thieves were actually their next-door neighbors. After a few rounds of “WHAT? WHO DOES THAT? REALLY?” they called the cops and had the fools arrested. (Score: Technology – 1; Humanity – 0.)

Meanwhile, the residents under siege at this Denver apartment building seem to be taking the vigilante approach to justice. Somehow, unless Batman shows up, I just don’t see this ending well.

Dear Grinch Stealing Packages from His and/or Her Neighbors, In the Spirit of the Holidays, I am choosing to let you know that I have sent myself (and a cooperating neighbor on another floor, from whom you have also stolen) one or more extra special presents, JUST FOR YOU! I really hope that you like them! I spent a lot of time and care on them as I wanted to make sure you know just how special you are to me!

related: Creative approaches to food thievery

Tags: Christmas · Denver · holiday spirit · kinda creepy · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · stealing

The Stupidbomber Manifesto

March 28th, 2011 · 75 Comments

After Adam’s car got broken into while parked in his own driveway, he decided to install a motion-activated security light. Several months later, he received this note in the mail — stamped and all — from one of his (kinda totally creepy) Connecticut neighbors. Adam, perhaps it’s time to take the home security system up a notch?

Lights on all night is stupid stupid stupid. 100/00 --> stupid stupid s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-stupid.

related: Stupid is as stuiped does

Tags: Connecticut · crazypants · energy usage · kinda creepy · neighbors

Diagnosis: Toilet (an exercise in psychoceramics)

January 16th, 2011 · 32 Comments

Is your toilet acting up again? Has your plumber already thrown up his hands and said he’s done everything he can? Perhaps it’s time you turned to Dr. Josiah Carberry, foremost expert in psychoceramics, to determine what’s really got your pot cracked.

Just take a look at these real-life examples:

1. Diagnosis: Irritable Bowl Syndrome

Plea from a Toilet: The life of a toilet is much more stressful than people realize...  Please don't throw anything but toilet paper into my bowl. I just can't handle it right now.

2. Diagnosis: Gross motor skill impairment

Do not throw anything to toilet "please"

3. Diagnosis: Projection and Displacement behaviors potentially indicative of a narcissistic personality type…or too many episodes of The Sopranos

Take care of me and I will take care of you. I don't eat paper towels, baby wipes, napkins, or any female products. Sincerely, The Toilet.

(Thanks to Adam in New York, Janet in Northern Virginia, and Tamie in Tampa for their submissions…and apologies to any readers offended by the excessive use of puns.)

related: Five reasons to be glad you’re not a plumber

Tags: anthropomorphism · kinda creepy · toilet · unnecessary "quotation marks"

No more dipping into the day care baby dippers

August 4th, 2010 · 113 Comments

“Typically, the people at my son’s day care just tell me when he’s running low on diapers or they write a note on his daily progress report,” says Lindsey in Peoria, Illinois. “Last time I forgot, and he had to use a few of theirs. I guess this was his teacher’s passive-aggressive [Ed. note: AND TOTALLY CREEPY] way of ensuring that I’d remember this time.”

(It worked.)

NEED MORE

related: Is your babysitter trying to get in your kid’s pants?

Tags: Illinois · kinda creepy · Moms & Dads

Scottish blinking balls

April 1st, 2010 · 92 Comments

I don’t know what this note is really about — Shane in Dallas just said he found it on the bulletin board in his apartment building — but I know I definitely won’t be stopping by #2913 to “talk” it over.

(It just, uh, doesn’t sound like my scene.)

To the Person who has two of our blinking garden balls, taken from #2913... Don't forget, we still have 5 more ...wouldn't want you to not to have a complete set! These came from Scotland. Why don't you stop by, and we'll "talk" it over....? :)

related: you can have the inflatable bananas

Tags: Dallas/Fort Worth · kinda creepy · neighbors · smiley · WTF?