Entries Tagged as 'kinda creepy'

The Stupidbomber Manifesto

March 28th, 2011 · 75 Comments

After Adam’s car got broken into while parked in his own driveway, he decided to install a motion-activated security light. Several months later, he received this note in the mail — stamped and all — from one of his (kinda totally creepy) Connecticut neighbors. Adam, perhaps it’s time to take the home security system up a notch?

Lights on all night is stupid stupid stupid. 100/00 --> stupid stupid s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-stupid.

related: Stupid is as stuiped does

Tags: Connecticut · crazypants · energy usage · kinda creepy · neighbors

Diagnosis: Toilet (an exercise in psychoceramics)

January 16th, 2011 · 32 Comments

Is your toilet acting up again? Has your plumber already thrown up his hands and said he’s done everything he can? Perhaps it’s time you turned to Dr. Josiah Carberry, foremost expert in psychoceramics, to determine what’s really got your pot cracked.

Just take a look at these real-life examples:

1. Diagnosis: Irritable Bowl Syndrome

Plea from a Toilet: The life of a toilet is much more stressful than people realize...  Please don't throw anything but toilet paper into my bowl. I just can't handle it right now.

2. Diagnosis: Gross motor skill impairment

Do not throw anything to toilet "please"

3. Diagnosis: Projection and Displacement behaviors potentially indicative of a narcissistic personality type…or too many episodes of The Sopranos

Take care of me and I will take care of you. I don't eat paper towels, baby wipes, napkins, or any female products. Sincerely, The Toilet.

(Thanks to Adam in New York, Janet in Northern Virginia, and Tamie in Tampa for their submissions…and apologies to any readers offended by the excessive use of puns.)

related: Five reasons to be glad you’re not a plumber

Tags: anthropomorphism · kinda creepy · toilet · unnecessary "quotation marks"

No more dipping into the day care baby dippers

August 4th, 2010 · 113 Comments

“Typically, the people at my son’s day care just tell me when he’s running low on diapers or they write a note on his daily progress report,” says Lindsey in Peoria, Illinois. “Last time I forgot, and he had to use a few of theirs. I guess this was his teacher’s passive-aggressive [Ed. note: AND TOTALLY CREEPY] way of ensuring that I’d remember this time.”

(It worked.)

NEED MORE

related: Is your babysitter trying to get in your kid’s pants?

Tags: Illinois · kinda creepy · Moms & Dads

Scottish blinking balls

April 1st, 2010 · 92 Comments

I don’t know what this note is really about — Shane in Dallas just said he found it on the bulletin board in his apartment building — but I know I definitely won’t be stopping by #2913 to “talk” it over.

(It just, uh, doesn’t sound like my scene.)

To the Person who has two of our blinking garden balls, taken from #2913... Don't forget, we still have 5 more ...wouldn't want you to not to have a complete set! These came from Scotland. Why don't you stop by, and we'll "talk" it over....? :)

related: you can have the inflatable bananas

Tags: Dallas/Fort Worth · kinda creepy · neighbors · smiley · WTF?

There are crazy people out there, you know

March 26th, 2010 · 177 Comments

“We custom-ordered some stamps with our youngest daughter’s face on it to mail birthday party invitations,” writes Pablo in Virginia. “There were extras, so we used them to pay some bills.” Apparently, one of those envelope recipients found this small act of thrift somewhat less than adorable.

Dear Tenant, This postage stamp is an outrage! If this is in fact your daughter or if you have any relation to this child, Alexis...do you realize you're exploiting her to the public? You stuck a picture of a child on an envelope with your return address...Anyone could get a hold of this and do god knows what...there are crazy people out there you know! You should think twice before flaunting your child to the world. Have a lovely day, God bless.

Adds Pablo: “The creepy part? This note was deposited in our mailbox anonymously, making us think the real crazy person is the author.”

related: Cloudy with a chance of hate mail

Tags: crazypants · going postal · kids · kinda creepy · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2010 · pleasantries as afterthought · Virginia

What exactly are you trying to say?

March 20th, 2010 · 127 Comments

Most office fridge notes — especially when they pertain to specialty “diet” items like, say, a Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwich — read something like this one (from a cubicle farm in Burbank, California).

Thank you sooo much for your kind consideration. I hope you enjoy it. And decide to join

Not so at Rocky‘s office in Austin, Texas…but office drama is never too hard to find in the shared fridge.

Please take one (or two) -Thanks  Are you saying I'm FAT?

Of course, you don’t even have to be a sentient being to fall into a similar trap.

If you’ve shopped online at Amazon.com lately, you might have noticed that they’ve starting suggesting using a custom “PayPhrase” to speed up express checkout. After placing a recent order, Rosalie in Seattle did a double-take when she saw the phrase Amazon picked for her.

Rosalie's huge ones

related: Sweet & Lowdown

Tags: food · kinda creepy · office fridge · smartass · stealing · WTF?

The cat came back…this time.

March 15th, 2010 · 151 Comments

“This note magically appeared one day in our letter box late last year from an obviously unhappy neighbour,” says Anthony in Melbourne, Australia. “To this day we still don’t know the cat-hater, the cat owner, or the cat.”

To the person that placed this tag on my cat:  For some reason you have chosen to place this tag on my cat instead of calling the phone number attached to his collar.  I would like to discuss this matter in a civilized manner and would appreciate if you contact me on the number below.

related: Don’t feed the cat (or the trolls)

Tags: cats · kinda creepy · Melbourne · neighbors · rebuttals

News bites

February 28th, 2010 · 80 Comments

Writes Jarrod in Australia: “This was published in the local newspaper where my sister is a reporter. On first observation, it doesn’t seem like much of a passive-aggressive note, but the backstory behind it is that the owner of the paper has been refusing to have the building sprayed for spiders, thinking it unnecessary.” The staff’s response?

ALONG CAME A SPIDER  You could imagine the surprise one of out Pastoral Times workers received when they arrived at work to find a redback spider (pictured) had spun its web across their keyboard.  The fiery female arachnid was suspended, upside down, by a floor-to-ceiling web.  The journalist who made this discovery quickly snapped a photo of the brash redback before moving it outside.

“For the record,” Jarrod adds, “the redback spider is related to the black widow, but more toxic (has killed people, but not recently).”

related: What’s black, white, and totally over?

extra credit: The Death of Print Journalism

Tags: kinda creepy · newspaper

Something to ponder

October 11th, 2009 · 103 Comments

Nathan in Norman, Oklahoma doesn’t know the writers of either of these notes, but when he saw this exchange on a fellow student’s drafting board in his architecture studio class, he knew it needed to be documented.

passiveaggressivenotes.com: do not use plz, from norman, oklahoma

passiveaggressivenotes.com: creepy guy who uses your board while you're gone and likes it

related: who’s the smartass?

Tags: college life · kinda creepy · note wars · Oklahoma · whiteboard

Unattended children will be shot.

September 13th, 2009 · 135 Comments

As previously discussed, this hamfisted attempt at wit remains the scourge of retail establishments the world over.

at least it doesn't say "expresso"

As it turns out, the umpteen-million variations are even more hilariously clever!

For example, while the original version merely confuses a lot of people, this one just seems like a bizarre incentive for child abandonment.

Children left unattended will receive a free kitten

Quickly, however, things start to get very un-p.c. (And also…very creepy.)

Unattended children will be sold to Gypsies

This version, in fact, is almost as popular as the original. (Other examples here and here and here and here and here and…is that a machete?)

Unattended children will be sold as slaves

Child slavery? Now that’s comedy gold. But really, why stop there? Why not “unattended children will be trafficked into child prostitution”? “Unattended children will be sold to pedophiles”? Or anally probed? or…

Unattended children will be placed on hooks (and tortured)

unattended children will be served as sausage

All unattended children will be thrown in the dumpster

Hilarious, right?

related: the “your mother doesn’t work here” of the hospitality industry

Tags: kids · kinda creepy · most popular notes of 2009 · oh no you didn't · retail hell