Entries Tagged as 'kitchen'

I did the dishes! Where’s my cookie?

December 14th, 2011 · 53 Comments

Explains our submitter in Ohio: ”Before leaving for winter break, the chronic dish-neglecting roommate of the house tried her hand at washing dishes for the first time.” Not content to pat herself on the back, she then posted this rationalization for why she shouldn’t have to feel guilty about the dirty dishes she’s left in the sink all year.

You can pretty much guess how that went over with the roomies…

Guess What?? I cleaned the dishes — even the ones that were NOT mine... and guess what again? It did NOT kill me and I did NOT magically transform into your MOTHER. You want to know what it felt like? It felt like a person that lives in this house understanding that her ROOMMATES have been extremely busy recently and she had some extra time to be able to help out. You want to know how much time it took out of my day? About ten minutes!!

related: Because of you, the shower I was looking forward to all day was RUINED!

Tags: Did you know? · dishes · Ohio · roommates · Your mother doesn't...

Why can’t I turn this toaster on?

November 8th, 2011 · 59 Comments

Instead of letting the Facilities Dept. know that the toaster was broken, the folks in Catherine’s office opted to collaboratively solve the problem Apollo-13 style, using only the paper products found in the office supply cabinet.

The major difference? This time, failure was an option.

Won't heat up. (Maybe it's just not that into you?) It's not plugged in! (Even plugged in it doesn't work!)

related: I’m calling to report a case of toaster abuse?

Tags: kitchen · note wars · office · Oregon · smartass · toaster

The needy little dishwasher

September 12th, 2011 · 43 Comments

Dear poor, neglected automatic dishwasher: have you considered therapy? (Adds Ben in London: “God help us if somebody pisses off the kettle.”)

The DISHWASHER is sad! He rarely gets fed properly, so please feed him as soon as you have finished with your cup, glass, breakfast bowl, plate or cutlery. He will clean it at the end of every day and poop it out fresh and sparkling. If he is full he has a big brother and sister on the 2nd floor. The SINK is angry! She is fed up having dirty cups, glasses, breakfast bowls etc left in her which look messy, smell and get in the way for  other people using the sink. By all means use her to rinse your items which makes her happy, but please do not leave things sitting in the sink. Together we can make this kitchen a happier place if we all work together! Please help us, The Kitchen Appliance Care & Appreciation Society (KACAS)

Meanwhile, in Texas…

Oh Michael! I want you* inside me. Turn me on** and then fill me up***! *to put the dirty dishes **to the standard washing cycle ***with whatever is in the sink

related: When dishwashers speak

Tags: anthropomorphism · clip art catastrophe · dishwasher · double-entendre alert · kitchen

Wrath of the Ancients™ 2.0

August 22nd, 2011 · 47 Comments

At Summer’s office in Austin, there are a few known “soakers” who constantly leave their dirty dishes in their sink. Apparently, the office soothsayer has had about enough of this practice.

(click the image below to enlarge)

Do not leave dirty dishes in the sink. The wrath of the ancients will fall upon your head. You will be cursed and misery will accompany you for your remaining days. You will constantly trip over things that are not there. The IRS will audit you. Your dog will run away at the sight of you. Your shoelaces will not stay tied. Mysterious clowns will seem to always be watching you. Rabid squirrels will invade your home. Your food in the work refrigerator will mysteriously spoil (and only yours. No one else's.) Your car  will start making the expensive knocking/tapping sound and NO ONE WILL TALK TO YOU AT PARTIES EVER AGAIN.

P.S. I kinda have a crush on this sign.

related: Things not to flush down the toilet: your hopes, your dreams…your sweaters

Tags: Austin · dishes · most popular notes of 2011 · not-so-veiled threats · office · smartass

I pita the fool

August 17th, 2011 · 86 Comments

Writes Elizabeth in Massachusetts: “My dad has taken to mixing hummus and tabbouleh in a bowl and eating it like that, which some reason, drives my brother absolutely crazy. I looked in the fridge today and was not surprised at all to find this note, which my dad ignored.”

This is a dip; it should be accompanied by another piece of food such as a pita chip, pita bread, etc. Not to be eaten with just a spoon.

Something tells me Elizabeth’s brother might also have an opinion about whether toast can or cannot be refrigerated…and perhaps the appropriateness of Cinnamon Roll Casserole as a workplace snack.

related: The most inane thing since sliced bread

Tags: "helpful" advice · a matter of taste · Father-son notes · food · fridge · Massachusetts

No “cat parts” in the sink

August 11th, 2011 · 33 Comments

Our submitter found the following signage at an engineering office in Salt Lake City, Utah. Adds our submitter: “For the life of me I can’t figure out what ‘cat parts’ is supposed to refer to — or why people would need a note to know it’s not appropriate to leave them in the kitchen sink.”

[Note 1:] Please Do Not Leave "cat parts" in the sink. Thanks. [Note 2:] Then we need a designated cat parts receptacle. Where else am I supposed to put my leftover cat parts?

P.S. When I did a quick Google Image Search for “cat parts,” I ended up here:

related: “Place feral cats in box”

Tags: cats · kitchen · office · rebuttals · Salt Lake City · smartass · Utah · WTF?

 
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